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aliljaded 53F
23939 posts
5/8/2017 12:11 pm
The Responsibility of Aftercare...

The Responsibility of Aftercare...

We always talk about how it is the responsibility of the Dom to provide to his sub but is it just theirs?

Do we not owe it to ourselves to love ourselves enough to speak up about what aftercare we need? To be able to recognize our own signs of sub drop and care for ourselves if needed?

Sub drop may not always happen at a convenient time, it may not be straight away when you’re in each other's arms, or when your Dom is around. For instance, I used to find myself regularly dropping on Monday once I’d returned to work. It wasn’t convenient for us to be together or to have a sick day all the time. I could let him know via a quick text message during my break, but that was all - I’m not allowed to have my phone switched on when I’m in the classroom. Until we could be together it was down to me to keep myself going. I’m sure there are many couples out there who have found themselves in a similar situation.

Having a plan on how you can get through sub drop when you are apart is a must (in my opinion.) It can be something little and discrete - maybe some emergency chocolate to get those happy hormones going, a letter from your Dom that you can sneak off to the toilets and read, a squishy stress toy or a furry object (depending on how you swing sensory wise) to feel. What I found that worked for me is being close to nature - I once took myself outside and laid on the grass and watched the clouds and stroked the trees (you can laugh at me if you wish!)

Whatever it is you need, you owe it to yourself to make sure you get it.

~Dominant Life.


"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


celtdragn 53F
283 posts
5/8/2017 1:51 pm

This is so true. and agree whole heartedly. That quick note to know you are being thought of in a day can put a spring in your step it is the little things and yes even lying in the grass, looking at the clouds. I sneak out and lean back against a tree feeling the breeze on my face and breathing in the fresh air does wonders, Taking care makes us better to give and serve those we care for. Sends hugs just cause.


1uncommondom 77M

5/8/2017 1:01 pm

Tears are 1% water, 99% feelings . . aftercare should provide more in return than was taken . . ignoring aftercare is as bad as ignoring non- consent.


Chigirl84 44F

5/8/2017 12:56 pm

Such a good point...which is often overlooked..


aliljaded 53F
8966 posts
5/8/2017 12:50 pm

    Quoting tinkerfun:
    Another good piece of writing. I was quite bad about asking for aftercare as I would usually just get by myself. I also found that nature helped, perhaps a walk in the woods.
Thank you very much

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


tinkerfun 46F
11150 posts
5/8/2017 12:36 pm

Another good piece of writing. I was quite bad about asking for aftercare as I would usually just get by myself. I also found that nature helped, perhaps a walk in the woods.


aliljaded 53F
8966 posts
5/8/2017 12:17 pm

Very True.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”



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