Blog : The Point of Surrender

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8/8/2019 5:06 am

The Point of Surrender

He slaps me across the face hard. Then he caresses my cheek until my eyes meet his.

“Do you still like me?”

I give him a curious look, followed by a soft smile. “Yes, Sir.”

He smiles back. Then he hits me. And again. And again and again. I can barely process one before the next comes. The tears start welling up almost immediately. My jaw clenches to hold them back.

“Do you still like me?”

Ohhhhh. Now I understand. He wants to see how far I will go for him. How much I will take.

“Yes, Sir.”

This time I say it with more resolve. I wonder if he hears it as a challenge. Courage can be a dangerous thing when a sadist sees it. But I want to show him my strength, even if it means he pushes me further. I want him to see what his girl can give him.

But it’s not my strength he wants; it’s my surrender. It’s not my stoic resolve; it’s my raw emotional response. It’s the letting go.

And that’s why blows keep coming. SLAP. SLAP. SLAP. Left left right right right. I close my eyes tight. A few tears squeeze through. Then his lips are on my ear.

“Shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. You don’t have to hold back. I want those emotions. Give them to me.”

His tone is sweet. Reassuring. I nod softly as my lip trembles. Then he’s hitting me again. Harder. The tears are rolling down my cheeks now. I want to pull away. Maybe I even try a couple of times. But he holds me there. My face burns. A couple of times he hits me hard enough that I wonder if there will be a bruise. But I stop thinking. I stop wondering when he will stop or if I can take it. I stop fighting the tears, and I let them flow. When he stops, he kisses them from my cheeks. Then he licks his lips.

“Do you still like me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

This time, my voice is soft and small. Surrender. Nothing left in me but the emotions he creates. I’ve given all the rest to him. I feel exhausted. Weak.

But after curled up in his arms, I can feel the strength returning to him. But this strength isn’t in spite of the surrender; it’s because of it. The strength comes from taking down the walls I use to protect myself and standing naked in front of him. Completely open and vulnerable. Seen. Giving myself to him in such a raw form and knowing he accepts me exactly as I am. I am stronger because he stands with me.

Do you still like me?

Yes, Sir. More every day.

~cherishedproperty

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”

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