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Show Me.... One of the things that I get the most questions about is my demisexuality. People are often interested in what it means and how it affects my life and my relationships. There are a ton of shocked looks when I mention that I don’t really mind porn, but for the most part, it does very little for me. People are incredulous when I tell them that I’m about as interested in hookups as I am in snorting powdered radishes. There’s just literally nothing at all that I find appealing about the concept, and there have been numerous times in my life where I passed on the opportunity, either intentionally or accidentally, simply because that’s not something that I want. Being a demisexual means, for me, that you have to actually talk to me. Put forth an effort to tell me who you are, and more importantly, show me who you are. Let me see inside your mind, let me get a glimpse of your soul because these are the playgrounds that I want to visit. Let me learn what makes you tick, what your likes and dislikes are, but be prepared to tell me about them. Why do you like the things you like? What about certain things is it that makes you feel alive? Being a demisexual means, for me, that I’m way more interested in your favorite book and your favorite song than I am in what your naked body looks like. Tell me what you find interesting about that book you’re reading, or what emotions and memories are evoked by that song that you’ve played 20 times today. I want to know if the scent of garlic takes you back to your favorite Italian restaurant, or if cinnamon reminds you of the apple pie your grandmother liked to bake in the fall. If the only thing you feel you have to offer me is your genitalia and your complete lack of limits, I’m going to lose interest before I even open the picture. Use your words to paint a picture and show me the million little things that make you feel alive. If we enter into a relationship, show me my place in your life. Show me that you love me through your actions. Show me that you respect me and that you care about me and that what you are giving me is mine and mine alone. Show me that you want me and that you are choosing me. Show me you want my leadership and my guidance by following my instructions. Show me you want me to want you by wanting to look good for me. Ask me what I would prefer and then go with my suggestions, even if it’s not what you’re feeling at the moment because you are doing it to please me. If I’m with you, I’m not just with you because of “what that mouth can do”, because I’m not wondering what it can do to my genitalia, I’m wondering if you use it to sing or to recite poetry. When I’m looking at you, I’m not wondering what it’ll take for me to get you naked, I’m wondering if you’ve ever read Plato’s Republic or Dante’s Paradiso. If I make a reference to Bukowski or Klimt, are you going to laugh at me and call me a name?, and then brush your hair back from those beautiful eyes of yours? These are the things that I’m thinking about… That’s not to say that I am asexual - far from it. Everything that I learn about you has a purpose for me. I want to know what ignites your passions and what stokes your fires because I want to help them burn brighter and hotter than ever. I want to know what your soul looks like because sex is a sacred, spiritual thing to me. If I’m going to share that with you, I want to know everything I can about you so that I can draw you into that world with me. I want to shut everything else out and just listen to what you want, and the more I know how to speak your language, the better I am at deciphering those wants and needs. So, show me. Teach me. Let me learn from you. That’s what being a demisexual means to me. ~Unknown *Archive  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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Wow... Really interesting piece. Gives one a lot to chew on. Great post...
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ali As we so often say, the Brain is the most powerful sex organ! This is beautiful  A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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Snorting radishes, I will pass on that one. But I have come to love roasted radishes. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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I always call that, i want to know the WHOLE person, no just this toy in his pants. (did that, when i was young( *er) and very experimental )  And, IF, i like him, can talk to and with him, laugh at the same things, enjoy the same things, Yeah, then, Maybe, then i am interested in his toy in his pants.... But, more in his mental capacity to lead the relation. I always get confused of all those modern terms, \demi / sapo/ Confusing.
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I really like this piece. It expresses how I approach most of my relationships. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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I think most people are divided and different stimuli feed different aspects of the same individuals. Just as a food smell can make your mouth water and you eat the item like an animal doesn't mean you want or need to know the ingredients. Opposite to that may be someone who wants to know the ingredients to really enjoy the food smell fully. Isn't that just normal depending on mood and needs? Demisexual is probably more normal than is realised but isn't special until titled so
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