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The Double-Edged Sword of Brattiness “But I’m warning you, I’m kind of a brat.” “No, you’re not. You’re just a girl who hasn’t had firm boundaries and desperately needs them.” This was a few years ago, in my baby sub days. I had been kind of bratty in past relationships, but this Dom was not one tolerate it. I worried he wouldn’t like . But it turns out that he was right about . I had always been bratty because I had a deep need for a structure that had never been met. I was bratty because I was clawing for boundaries that weren’t there. I teased because it felt like the only way be thrown down and ravaged. I intentionally broke rules because it felt like the only way I’d feel that tight control closing in on . I wasn’t a brat; I was a submissive who craved deep and unrelenting dominance. Ownership. I just didn’t know how get it. Now that I understand what I need, I can mostly quell those bratty impulses. When I need feel my Dominant’s control, I say so in a metatalk. I ask how I can serve. I ask permission for things (and sometimes hope for a “no”). I give my Dominant opportunities lead. I find ways feel those firm boundaries within my role, rather than stepping out of it. But part of thinks there is still value in brattiness—not in outright disobedience, but maybe in close calls. You approach the electrified fence. You hear the hum. You use something test it. Maybe you get a quick zap, just know it’s there and working. But you don’t barrel through the fence. Gently testing the boundaries can be a comforting reminder that they are there and strong. You are submitting something, not just making it in your head. A little brattiness can also signal confidence in the dynamic. It’s only when you know the leash is there that you can tug on it a little. That’s the key—a little. There’s a rush of connection from being put in your place, but it wears off. And then you’re left in a worse place than when you started. It can be tempting push at the boundaries, especially when you desperately need feel them. But brattiness is not giving your Dominant opportunities lead. You cannot disobey your way firm boundaries and deep ownership. Playfulness is one thing, but intentional disobedience is toxic to the dynamic. Instead, you lean in. You ask permission. You have open, honest conversations about what you need and what is missing. Brattiness may make a spark, but it’s rarely enough to build a fire. It has taken some time figure it out. But no, I’m not a brat. I like say that I’m a good girl…96.2% of the time. cherished-property~ *Archive  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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9/14/2020 10:51 pm |
A great post. One of your best! 
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Personally life with out an alive in control brat would be a very boring thing indeed. One that knows the fine line, when to go forward, entertain and tweak bounds. While also knowing damn well where that line is and when to retreat. I found your comments to be refreshing and very insightful and very enjoyable.
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I love the percentage you chose.....not a random number by any means
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9/14/2020 7:50 am |
I can not stand brats; the remind me of children and I have no interest in those. You can not have an adult conversation with a child.
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9/14/2020 7:49 am |
I like a woman that can be bratty. I have a lot of distractions in my day to day life and I need to keep focused on her and give her the attention she deservers and not just run on automatic pilot. If you're not leading then she will find someone that will, and maybe she should.
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Love this one too, girl you are on a roll 
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...But that 3.8% (precisely) is necessary, just to be sure of where the limits are?
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Another great piece...
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I am not a fan of barttyness. had a submissive who live in my house years ago. She had been with a previous master who was very much into micromanagement. I am of the "give them enough rope, they can hang themselves" kind of guy. I do not want to micromanage. I feel, you can and should test the boundreis, specially in the beginning. but not constantly over time. We either develop mutual trust or we don't and we move on. Her pattern of needing micro management was so ingrained, that I was just plain worn out with her constant brattyness. She just could not get that, if she wanted.needed something, to just ask. I would still decide if she got it or when she got it. I did not want to have to tell here what to wear, what to do, for every element of daily life. I set the parameters what were agreed upon. In the end, I felt like she was trying to top from the bottom and or was simply too needy for the time I could afford her. Her previous master was independently wealthy and was home all the time. On the other hand, I was working a full time job. I wanted to be left alone to decompress after a had day or week. When her bratty behavior started getting me angry, I knew it was time to end that situation, And I did. She later admitted, that she perceived all dominants to be like that previous master. She found another guy who was into micromanagement. But I think he got worn out too. She was bi and eventually would up with and as far as I know is still with a rather harsh mistress. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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 Slave rick
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I love a my brat!
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We train them to walk on the other side of the fence. When they learn that's where they feel the most alive, it's time for the next level.
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It has taken me some time to figure it out. But no, I’m not a brat. I like to say that I’m a good girl…96.2% of the time. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Oh, dear.. I just love this, just what I needed to read today as I keep questioning and doubting my own slef and my needs and why I am acting sometimes in certain way ... maybe I just dont know how to ask in the right manner. Thank you for sharing this with us 🙂
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