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The Slow Unfurling Of Sadism I don’t consider myself a masochist, but the pain is an important part of my submission. Sometimes that feels weird to say—that I like pain and need pain, but I’m not a masochist. For me, the difference is that pain is an expression of my submission, not an end in itself. I enjoy the opportunity to give myself to my Dominant in ways that are hard for me. I enjoy knowing that I am a girl who doesn’t get choices, even if my Dominant chooses for me to suffer. And I need these “proof of ownership” moments, even when I don’t always enjoy them. But as someone who needs pain, I have dated sadists. Actually, I kind of adore them. Sadists are deeply emotionally aware. When you are a person who feels aroused and emotionally connected through inflicting pain, you learn to read every quiver, every trembling lip, the inflection of every scream. You become hyperfocused on your partner’s emotional and physical state because that’s what feeds you— and because you know what can go wrong. Sadists know that they enjoy hurting people. For most, it takes time to come to terms with that. And even when you’ve accepted your desire to inflict pain, building trust with a new person is always hard. To show the person you care about that you love their agony… It takes time. No one in kink exercises more self-restraint than the sadist. So this means people with deep emotional awareness are required to take serious emotional risks with their partners. This leads to an endearing pattern that I call the slow unfurling of sadism (alternate title: How Sadists are Like Shy Baby Groundhogs). Sadists tend to start slower than other D-types. They don’t cause a lot of pain right away. They test something out, then they back off a little. A flicker of pain, then back to soft and sweet. Then they push a little further, and then back off a little. Gradually, they create a safe space for their submissive to suffer—to let the pain flow freely. They earn a submissive’s trust by showing they are in control and respect boundaries. At the same time, they are also creating opportunities for their submissive to earn their trust—trust that they won’t be rejected and trust that what they are doing is consensual. Sadists need reassurance. Did you endure the pain out of submissive obligation, or did you want it? Did it mean something to you? They need to know if you felt a connection with the pain. They need to know if it turned you on. They need to know if you want more. As a submissive, I love these moments. I get to tell my partner that I love the glimmer in their eyes before they hurt me, or that I smile every time I run my fingers over the welts on my ass. I am honest about my limits, but I also show my sadist the joy I feel in serving through the pain. The most rewarding moment is when a sadist looks deep into your eyes and tells you they want to lick the tears off your face while they make you scream. And then they do it. Because that’s when you know they’ve let you in. They’ve trusted you with a part of themselves that few people get to see, let alone love. That is a beautiful feeling, and well worth the time it takes to get there. cherished-property~ *Archive  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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11/30/2020 4:37 am |
Love that piece and that picture.
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Being a "Sensual Sadist" (yes there are such types), it is all about the connection with the submissive/slave. It's about connecting with them not only in the physical (body), but the mind as well. As these two connections are made the emotional connection is made because of the trust that is established. This is what the true about the "Dark Path of Eroricness" because once those first 3 connections are made, the final connection of the spirit becomes possible. 
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all aspects with a submissive begins with the mind... pain in itself alone is cold and distant. pain with the understanding of where its needed and why is the mark of attention and respect.
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Very well writen, and explained.
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This hits the nail on the head.....She starts very slow and draws me in
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Most think training a masochist is about pain but it's about training the mind, the spirit. There comes a day when there is no amount of pain the masochist cannot manage. When the span between hard and soft shortens and the hard goes far past the edge. On that day the Sadist realizes he isn't the strongest will in the room. It isn't his accomplishment and saying good girl takes on a whole new meaning. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Most think training a masochist is about pain but it's about training the mind, the spirit. There comes a day when there is no amount of pain the masochist cannot manage. When the span between hard and soft shortens and the hard goes far past the edge. On that day the Sadist realizes he isn't the strongest will in the room. It isn't his accomplishment and saying good girl takes on a whole new meaning.
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I have been on the right side of the "slash" and was always treated with respect and adoration by the 8 fem dommes that trained me in the lifestyle, Now I do the same as a Dom and my subs tell me that I "touch them like no man has ever touched the before". I give the the same love, adoration and respect I was given and make them confident in their submission to me, while giving them the pain and pleasure they so much desire.
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i find that i dont need pain. i dont want it unless my dominant wants it. if it pleases her to inflict pain i will suffer anything to please her. i am just as happy with a crop to my ass as i am giving her a foot rub. her pleasure is my one and only goal.
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i can relate to it too from the male submissive angle
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 Slave rick
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I find this piece so relatable. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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