Blog : Shutting Down A Scene

23778 posts
1/12/2021 3:15 am

Shutting Down A Scene

“A while back you mentioned in passing a Dom shutting down a scene if it got too intense for the sub to be able to use her safe word responsibly. What are the symptoms, so I can watch out for it and be aware?”

This is a great question. First, respect to you for wanting to understand and keep your girl safe. Here’s the thing: we hear all this stuff about “the sub is safe because she always has her safeword.” And that is true, as far as it goes. But what happens when, in the intense heat of a scene, the submissive has lost the power of rational volition? That sounds fairly nebulous and probably useless, so let me break it down to some characteristic external markers that I’ve encountered over the years …

Loss of rational speech. Is her speech mumbled, incoherent, and “off-topic”? You need to shut that shit down.

Irrational demands for “more, harder.” If you’ve pushed her to (and possibly a bit beyond) her previous limits and to a place that you know is beyond her tolerance (for pain, intensity, etc) and yet she continues to moan “more …. harder …” then she has dropped too deep into subspace to be a rational player in the scene, and you need to shut that shit down.

“What is your name?” If you think she’s slipped away, ask her “What is your name?” I once had to ask a girl her name three times before I got a mumbled response. If she can’t answer immediately and coherently, you need to shut that shit down.

Safeword. Above all else, if you ask “What is your safeword?” and she does not immediately respond crisply and coherently with her safeword, you need to shut that shit down at once.

Now, what do you do to bring her back? Hydration, a damp towel, under the covers, and a lot of cuddles and aftercare while talking to her softly and letting her know you’re there and all is well.

Hopefully, these “indicators” will help you to keep your scenes Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

~instructor144

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”

Deepink32506 62M

80 posts
1/12/2021 8:56 am

All ways know your sub each one recovers in their own way

aliljaded 53F

8926 posts
1/12/2021 6:40 am

ClimaxHer

Although I always appreciate and acknowledge comments from people who visit my blog.....Please don't presume to direct me as to where I should make my own comments......If I find that another's blog resonates with me, I always have the courtesy to comment without expecting reciprocation.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”

ClimaxHer 65M

139 posts
1/12/2021 5:53 am

What "safe words" do you prefer? I prefer three words, stoplight words:
Green means keep going
Yellow mean caution, I'm beginning to slip away
RED means stop, s t o p, Stop, STOP, S.T.O.P. Stop now.
What safe words do you use?
I don't gag my subs, I need to listen to her, no gagging allowed.
Just my thoughts.
Also, I have begun my own Blog here. I have posted many comment on your blog, please visit my blog, and please comment. Please respond in like manner.

1uncommondom 77M

1/12/2021 5:27 am

It is hard to describe
this occurrence but it
is the most profound
thing I've experienced.
It speaks to the absolute
mental strength of the
mind, subspace and
the principle of mental
bondage. It is rare air!

JohnnyLightning 65M