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Determination Submission, and Dominance for that matter, while inbred, don’t come naturally. Now don’t mistake my meaning here, I believe submissives and Dominants are born this way, as much as people are born with blue eyes or brown. The innate desire to lead, or to follow, is not a choice, but the acts of submission and dominance are not innate, they are learned. Take sex, for example, you can know that you want it, that it is something you need in your life, but learning to have fulfilling sex is a journey, not a single act. And so it is for D/s. You can take a submissive or a Dominant as your own, but that doesn’t complete your journey any more than losing your virginity makes you a master of sex. There is always more to learn. And you know what? It’s not fucking easy. You’re going to screw up. Probably a lot. You’ll hurt the person you love and it’s going to be soul-crushing. They’re going to hurt you too, and you’ll probably be blindsided. You’ll learn and grow, and if you’re anything like me, sometimes you’ll look at the trail of mistakes behind you and you’ll wonder if maybe you aren’t meant for this after all. That maybe you aren’t really submissive because you seem to fail a lot, or that maybe you aren’t really a Dominant because you seem to hurt your sub even when it’s the last thing you want. But here’s the thing… Dominance and submission are innate desires, but learning to fulfill those desires takes work. Learning to serve your partner, fulfill their needs, and make sure that your own are met, requires determination and effort. Wanting something, truly deeply wanting it, even needing it, doesn’t mean you know how to get it. You have to be willing to pick yourself back up when you fall. It doesn’t mean you weren’t made for this. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a ‘true’ submissive or a Dominant. It means that if you want it badly enough, you’ll muster the strength to learn. ~pleasurewhore Image By: Craig Morey  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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Quote: "But here’s the thing… Dominance and submission are innate desires, but learning to fulfill those desires takes work. Learning to serve your partner, fulfill their needs, and make sure that your own are met, requires determination and effort. Wanting something, truly deeply wanting it, even needing it, doesn’t mean you know how to get it." So beautifully said! I love it! Thank you for this post. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. __Yogi Berra
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experience is a function of the amount of mistakes one makes. you learn from them and move on
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Very nice essay and so true. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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"This is a great piece." It most certainly is! Thanks for posting this.
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ali This is so true! We have to work at something to be good at it! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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As always Ali, a well written and interesting article
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Submissive and Dominants are born... then, which one is the successful multinational company CEO who by night is a sissy clothes-clad bitch and submits to the nasty Dominatrix who part-times as a waitress by day?
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It is a lot of work but so rewarding !
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4/28/2021 4:53 am |
Knowledge has to come from somewhere. The whole purpose of reading a book is to put yourself in someone else's place and learn from their experiences. I'd rather learn from the mistakes and successes of others than to test and reinvent something that's already been done. Deviating from an established path of action to experiment on our own is a waste of time and resources. At 50+ we need to conserve the very things we have wasted away in our youth.
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Short but succinct. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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the best
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This is a great piece. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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