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Five Safety Reminders Nowadays everyone has an excuse, a scapegoat, or something to blame when something goes wrong in their lives. While it is a pet peeve of mine when people pass the blame for their boners onto other things or people rather than just accepting responsibility, there is one area that everyone needs to own responsibility for one hundred percent of the time and that is personal safety. Now there are tragic and horrid events that occur even when all the right safety measures are in place. These are the times when it is crossing paths with the wrong person at the exact wrong time. Sadly, and far too often, especially in this lifestyle, people set aside their intuition, red flags, and safety protocols in pursuit of a relationship, love, or just good old-fashioned kinky fuckery. Now there are many articles, blog posts, and even books offering ways to stay safe, how to meet others, and lower the risk of bad things happening but rather than write a post the length of War and Peace I just wanted to offer five simple reminders: 1. It takes time to build trust in a person. Even if they seem like they are the most wonderful and amazing creatures to ever grace the third rock from the sun, still force yourself to take the time to build trust. The trust train is not a bullet train and it can never be rushed. 2. Keep things public and in the public’s knowledge. I am not saying you need to tell your family and vanilla friends that you are involved in the lifestyle, meeting someone of interest from said lifestyle but people do need to know who you are meeting, where you are meeting them, and you need to keep all of your interactions with them in safe public spaces. Even better, bring friends and make your first several interactions to have fun as part of a group. 3. If you are traveling many miles to meet a rumored amazing person, be even more vigilant. When you are making the arrangements for travel, make sure that you are the one booking your flights, hotel, rental car, and all that jazz. Do not be at the mercy of Mr. or Ms. Wonderful for any of this and please make sure you have a safe place to stay. Just a reminder, Mr. or Ms. Wonderful or their ‘friends’ abodes are NOT safe places. 4. Should you be involved in the lifestyle simply for the kinktastic bow-chicka-wow-wow, please make sure you know, understand, and are practicing safer sex. 5. If you see something, say something. Sometimes each of us can get caught up in the moment, the adventure, or just miss the forest because of one amazing tree and it is in those times we need a friend to remind us of what we are missing (AKA how doltish we are being). I believe part of being a friend is saying hard things, such as “hey stupid, pay attention to your safety”, when needed and if our friend rebuffs our advice, remember “You cannot save people, you can only love them” -Anais Nin. There are thousands of more tips, ideas, and thoughts I could add to this but I am choosing not to turn this into a book or how-to guide. I want the message of this to be that no one but yourself is responsible for your safety. While it is true that even the most safety-conscious people can sadly still have tragedy find them, most heartbreaking events can be prevented if the individual had stopped, taken a moment to think, and made their safety “job number one”. Remember this lifestyle can be dangerous and even if Danger is your middle name, please make sure you are putting your safety first and making smart, well thought out choices when you see someone else making poor decisions, please remember to say something when you see something. ©TLK2020  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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Excellent reminders. So many just rush head first into the unknown.
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When getting in a car for the first time with someone new, First have them take your picture at the back of the car next to the license plate with your phone, then a selfie together.
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I think these are great reminders. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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