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Awesome Acronyms Within D/S there are what feels like a zillion and one different acronym with some being more important than others, especially for those who are newer to the lifestyle. I am not going to write a list of all of these or create a list of the ones I feel are more important than others because we would be here for hours and hours plus my rankings would not, in my opinion, be important to anyone but myself. So rather than bore the world and possibly have a debate or two which would never resolve, I want to focus on just three acronyms that pair beautifully with a side of fries. This troika with fries, besides allowing me to say prick while not referencing a twattwaffle or baloney pony, I feel is important for everyone in the lifestyle to understand, find which of these is a fit, and share a few additional thoughts I believe are important to chat about. The lifestyle acronyms I want to define and chat briefly about today are SSC, RACK, and PRICK. These wonderful words, for those who do not know, all reference how people choose to practice the lifestyle. Now, class, it is time for your acronyms, and their definitions, from Kinkly.com, and Friday will be your quiz. Just kidding on the quiz, middle school language arts classes are in everyone’s rearview mirror, so here are the definitions: Safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) is one of the philosophies surrounding ethically acceptable behavior in BDSM, kink, and alternative sexuality communities. Safe means that the risk of activities should be understood by all participants and either eliminated or reduced as much as possible. Sane refers to the need to approach activities in a sensible and realistic frame of mind, and with an understanding of the difference between fantasy and reality. Consensual means that all participants have freely consented to the activity and were in a state of mind to do so. Risk-aware consensual kink (RACK) is a philosophy governing BDSM activities and behaviors. Risk-aware means that all the participants know the risks involved in the activity (BDSM activities are not always risk-free). Consensual means that all the participants have freely consented to the activity, and that no one has been coerced. Personal responsibility informed consensual kink (PRICK) describes a philosophical view held within some sectors of the BDSM community. This philosophy emphasizes the personal responsibility of participants involved in risky sexual behaviors who must individually consent to the behavior after personally understanding and considering its risks. I am not writing this to express which one of these three is the best, or better than the rest because it is a matter of discovering what is a personal fit. I will share that if you are ever in a situation where you can observe a discussion of which one of these is believed to be superior, especially online, make some popcorn, pull up a chair, sit back, and watch the drama/trolling get rolling. Some people tend to be very passionate, to put it kindly, about their methodology and this comes through clearly when these are debated. As I said, I am not here to discuss which method should be used as that is up to each person, I do want to share a few things that I feel are fundamental to understand no matter how one practices this lifestyle: SSC is typically the practice that experience has shown me that newer people the lifestyle often adopt with RACK and PRICK being practices that some move towards as they gain experience. This does not hold with everyone but it is often the case. In SSC, some will question who decides what is both safe as well as sane? Because there is no Grand D/S Poobah who would decree such things, it is up to the people engaging in the activities to determine what is both safe and sane. So, what one person considers sane and safe, another may disagree. Pretty much every lifestyle activity comes with some risk involved, heck pretty much everything in life comes with some level of risk involved. It is up to each person to understand this and for example, spanking of a banging bottom, a simple and very common lifestyle bit of fun has risks because a simple slip of the hand or implement results in a misplaced wallop landing on the kidneys rather than a beautiful butt can cause serious, potentially life-altering, damage. If you are unsure of the dangers, do your homework before you engage in the activity. No matter how a person decides to get their kink on, there is one letter that flows between all three methods and that is the BIG C. Not only is the big c the best burger at my favorite drive-in restaurant (as soon as I typed big c my brain defaulted to Clyde’s) but here in the lifestyle, it is all about consent. Consent is a topic that is written and talked about extensively. Consent, consent, consent, and at times it feels that those who are newer sort of turn their noses up in a smug, “I KNOW already” manner. Consent is talked about so often that it can make newbie Smuggly McSmug-Face feel as though it is harping but it is not. This one sad but true fact should grab everyone’s attention, no matter if newer or experienced: According to the National Coalition For Sexual Freedom, within the first five years of joining or exploring the D/S lifestyle, one in five people report that they had an incident where their consent was violated. Since I went off track just a minute ago thinking about my favorite roadside burger along with consent, what pairs perfectly with both burgers and consent? Congratulations, you are a winner if you said fries. Now the fries with the burger a different than the consenting type because consent FRIES is an amazing acronym to help understand and make sure consent is being done properly in real-world settings. This acronym stands for: Freely Given – This means no one is being convinced, bullied, guilt-tripped, and/or pressured in any way into their decision to participate in an activity. Sadly, I need to add this, no one with an altered mental state, for example, drunk or floating in sub-space, can give consent. Reversible – At any point in time everyone has the RIGHT to change their mind. This can be communicated by saying anything from “I changed my mind” to a safe word. Informed – Think of informed as you have explained thoroughly the act(s) you want to do, the risks, as well as the rewards to your partner/playmate, and they have done the research and thus they are making an informed decision to engage in the activities with you. Enthusiastic – If everyone involved is not geeked, eager, and/or thrilled then you must consider their answer as a NO. Someone can be both eager and nervous but they must be excited about the project. No does not mean convince or pressure. Specific – Just because a person has said yes to something, does not make it acceptable to think other things are hunky-dory. For example, a submissive said yes to wearing a skirt with no panties out to dinner, per the dominant’s request, but that does not give the d-type consent to touch her under the table. Understanding what manner is the best fit for an individual to practice their kinds is important as well as understanding exactly what it means to consent as well. Since twenty percent of people who are newer to the lifestyle have their consent violated, conversations about consent must continue, happen often, and as a community, I believe, if one should observe a person, especially a less experienced individual, potentially making a choice that could put that at risk, reach out and speak to them with kindness while expressing your concerns. I feel the more outreach both online and in-person communities do, the safer we can make the lifestyle. On a final note, here is the reminder that the only person anyone can count on to keep them safer is themselves. ©TLK2022  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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Yes, once more, very well done, thanks. I was practicing them without knowing about them..... good to have names for the babies. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. __Yogi Berra
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Great stuff. I'm a HUGE believer in SSC, but hadn't come across RACK and PRICK acronyms. Although both are part of my belief without knowing the acronyms. Hadn't heard FRIES either, but again, the practice is part of my belief.
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Excellent read, thank you for sharing, M.
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I think only those truly interested in or involved in the lifestyle really understand the acronyms.
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My boss told me he was sending me to a CBT course. I asked, "What's CBT, Cock and Ball Torture?" He replied " No Computer Based Training," I said the same thing.
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Fantastic piece. Worth a read. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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