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How A Submissive Leads  A good submissive is often a wonderful leader. It may seem paradoxical. After all, aren’t submissives supposed to follow? The caricature of submissives is a little mouse, quiet except for “yes, Sir” and “thank you, Sir.” But submissives lead in a great many ways. Submissives lead by example. They lead by showing up every day and honoring their commitment to the dynamic. They lead by showing their Dominant that obedience and service are for always, not just when it’s easy. It takes a lot of strength to kneel when you are tired. When you are emotionally struggling. When your confidence is shaken. It is easier to withdraw or to take back control, rather than trust someone else with it. When submissives choose their submission over and over again, this shows faith in a vision for what the dynamic should be. It shows courage and resolve. And with this leadership, submissives inspire leadership in their Dominants with their unrelenting need to follow. Submissives lead by providing their Dominants opportunities to lead. Sometimes submissives sense that their Dominants need a reminder that they hold the leash. When they are stressed or feeling unsure, sometimes they need to feel their partners’ submission. That connection sustains both sides of the slash. Submissives lead by recognizing when their Dominant needs to connect through power exchange and offering an opportunity to lead. They ask permission. They ask their Dominant to choose for them. They kneel with their Dominant’s favorite implement in hand. But it is up to the submissive sometimes to see the need and act on it. Submissives lead by helping their Dominants understand their needs. This is not topping from the bottom; it is giving Dominants all the information they need to care for their property. Imagine the Dominant is blindfolded, walking a path with their submissive. The Dominant knows where they want to go. They know if they head directly west, they will reach the perfect little town. But the submissive can see that heading directly west will send them through swamps and rocky terrain. The submissive leads by being the Dominant’s eyes—explaining the obstacles and allowing the Dominant to find a different course that will reach the destination. This is not the same as telling the Dominant where to go, just as sharing your needs is not topping from the bottom. Once in a D/s relationship, I was struggling with a lack of spankings. I tried telling him I needed a spanking. He’d nod, and then the next time, he’d throw me down and treat me roughly. He made sure I felt owned. But I still needed a spanking. Finally, I laid it out for him. “When I say I need a spanking, I don’t mean I need kink. I don’t mean that we’ve gone too vanilla. I don’t mean that I need you to hurt me. I mean that I need a spanking, and nothing else will do.” This felt decidedly unsubmissive to me. But through his response, I realized that this kind of guidance was the most submissive thing I could do. I showed him how to lead us. Without my leadership, he could not lead. Submissives lead by serving as a beacon of light. As a submissive, I light the path, and my Dominant leads us down it. I have not decided. But I may shine a light on a decision to be made, so my Dominant can decide. Without a submissive’s leadership, their Dominant is just wandering in the dark. It’s not just that submissives do lead; it’s that they must lead at times for the dynamic to be successful. “If my Master is lost, I’ll find him. I’ll lead him back to himself because to serve doesn’t always mean to follow.” ―Joey W. Hill "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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Very well said. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Very well said.
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A woman needs trust and she looks to her man to, well just be a man. A dominant man will lead, he will teach and protect. He asks his sub what does she like and the things she dislikes. To her it sounds like he is talking in circles, He won't show weakness by asking straight out. he pieces things together. This is a good Master the other just offers up his woman to all that will take, never thinking of her at all. A real Master will give good after care, this Master is not a fool to many underestimate this man. I say more fool them. 
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Great post M.  It's always about good, honest communication. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Thank you most do not get it "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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It’s a swirling matter of complementary natures. Attention and respect and appreciation pulling the eddies into being - the center rendered beyond the staccato of language where possible so as not to distract from the woven essence of the thing, but spoken if not, in service of each through the exchange. And without that? Parasitism. It’s a curious idiosyncrasy of this way that at their most superficial pathology and perfection so masquerade as each other. Thank you for sharing, as always.  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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So true indeed! "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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No, not at all. Sometimes it is quite the opposite... "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Thank you, Love. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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A wonderful take on submission! "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Excellent example of determination and a willingness and loyalty to serve "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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The line between having the courage to lead and the strength to follow is very thin. It is often more about knowing the purpose your soul's fulfillment than being a certain role. D/s is less about taking an giving than it is about chemistry. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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dynamic duo... there would not be one, without the other... It does take 2, or 3, or so... "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Yes, and the image sums it all up "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Great post M. It's always about good, honest communication.
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11/3/2022 6:19 am |
Thank you most do not get it
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It’s a swirling matter of complementary natures. Attention and respect and appreciation pulling the eddies into being - the center rendered beyond the staccato of language where possible so as not to distract from the woven essence of the thing, but spoken if not, in service of each through the exchange. And without that? Parasitism. It’s a curious idiosyncrasy of this way that at their most superficial pathology and perfection so masquerade as each other. Thank you for sharing, as always.
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So true indeed! Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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"To serve doesn’t always mean to follow." So true.
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great find. love it.
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A wonderful take on submission!
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11/2/2022 5:46 am |
People in this fetish know the sub is the one in control and the most important aspect of a relationship is trust. There is no reason why you and I can't share a cup of coffee or a glass of wine in a public place and indulge in conversation. Before such an event I would send pictures of myself, no strings attached, for you to say yes or no.
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love the photo
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Excellent example of determination and a willingness and loyalty to serve
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11/2/2022 5:28 am |
The line between having the courage to lead and the strength to follow is very thin. It is often more about knowing the purpose your soul's fulfillment than being a certain role. D/s is less about taking an giving than it is about chemistry.
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