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Courtesy and Respect in Kink Culture In BDSM and kink, where desires diverge and exploration abounds, there exists a fundamental truth that often gets overlooked, the necessity of being a courteous and respectful individual. Despite the allure of exploring taboo desires and indulging in explicit conversations, it is imperative to remember that behind every fetish lies a person deserving of basic human decency. In today's digital age, it is not uncommon for individuals to encounter unsolicited explicit content from strangers or acquaintances. Whether it is receiving unsolicited pictures of intimate body parts or encountering inappropriate advances, these experiences can leave one feeling disrespected and devalued. While some may associate such behavior with certain genders or orientations, the reality is that it transcends these boundaries, occurring across all spectrums of identity. Within the lifestyle, there exists a misconception that the norms of traditional interaction do not apply. Some may believe that because they share a common interest in exploring unconventional desires, they can bypass the basic principles of decency and skip straight to the explicit. However, this could not be further from the truth. At its core, BDSM and kink are about more than just sexual exploration; they are about mutual trust, consent, and understanding. Engaging in kink requires a deep level of respect for one another's boundaries, desires, and humanity. It is about recognizing that every individual is more than just a vessel for fulfilling fantasies, they are complex beings with thoughts, feelings, and autonomy. Whether one is seeking casual play or a long-term kink-filled relationship, it all begins with treating others with the respect and courtesy they deserve. This means taking the time to get to know someone as a person before delving into discussions of kink and desire. It means seeking consent and respecting boundaries at every step of the way. And it means understanding that no one owes you anything, not their time, attention, or participation in your fantasies. In a community built on the principles of trust and communication, there is no room for entitlement or disregard for others' feelings. Just as in any other aspect of life, being a decent human being should always take precedence. It is about recognizing that kinky desires do not exempt anyone from the basic principles of respect and decency. So, before you send that explicit message or make that inappropriate advance, take a moment to pause and consider the person on the other end. Treat them with the same courtesy and respect you would expect in return. Remember, being kinky does not absolve you of being a decent human being. In the end, it is not just about what happens in the bedroom, it is about how we treat one another in every aspect of our lives. ©TLK2024  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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"Courtesy and Respect" go without saying with the right person. This is a lovely piece.
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Many protocols long associated with the lifestyle arose as a reflection of just the ideas shared in this piece. There are still environments IRL (though fewer and fewer over time, it seems) where not aligning behavior with these tenets means social banishment. Protocols aren’t substitutes for respectfulness and empathy nor do they fully protect against sociopaths, but when well-conceived for a community they reinforce behavioral norms that support the health and wellbeing of its members. Education and enforcement are key, though, and the latter is tough in an environment that doesn’t support censure and banishment. As for education- thank you for sharing!  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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A very good reminder, Alj--thanks for sharing the piece--though it seems a shame that there exist so many on this planet, today, that have forgotten (or simply never learned) its abiding truth, and need to be so reminded of it (or else taught it, ab ovo). I agree that no lifestyle choice, be it mainstream or alternative, ought ever serve to exempt one from having to abide by this shared article's instruction or mandate to humanity. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Such a good piece..... "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Very well stated there are way to many peoples in this crazy world that have totally forgotten this basic concept! "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Great writing, again, and as useual, I very much appreciate this writing. And must say, that in my beginning years on here..there was a mutual understandig of this part of the bdsm world... Nów? since more and more uneducated vanillas with porn on their minds, enter this world too.... it seems to be getting nastier and nastier ...... to the point, that the contacts are almost all very rude... no decency, at all. And, then i did not even started on the load of mental cases here, thinking they can "solve" their problem by acting "the dom"..... terrible.. Also no knowledge about the moral codes of bdsm- D/s... Thank you for this reminder...  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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i agree with the author as well. respect and good communication are the cornerstones to a good relationship kinky or otherwise "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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The Balance: Yes to everything, as I do seek a great relationship. Quite early though, the two should find out about what types of all this we see here on this site, that they have in common vs the deal-breakers that would have two people admit that they should each look elsewhere. I'm here and on other sites looking for a life partner, knowing here at least that here on this site there is an initial understanding that we are not Vanilla (regardless of how much I love the ice cream). Again, the Balance . . . "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Many protocols long associated with the lifestyle arose as a reflection of just the ideas shared in this piece. There are still environments IRL (though fewer and fewer over time, it seems) where not aligning behavior with these tenets means social banishment. Protocols aren’t substitutes for respectfulness and empathy nor do they fully protect against sociopaths, but when well-conceived for a community they reinforce behavioral norms that support the health and wellbeing of its members. Education and enforcement are key, though, and the latter is tough in an environment that doesn’t support censure and banishment. As for education- thank you for sharing!
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A very good reminder, Alj--thanks for sharing the piece--though it seems a shame that there exist so many on this planet, today, that have forgotten (or simply never learned) its abiding truth, and need to be so reminded of it (or else taught it, ab ovo). I agree that no lifestyle choice, be it mainstream or alternative, ought ever serve to exempt one from having to abide by this shared article's instruction or mandate to humanity.
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Such a good piece.....
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Very well stated there are way to many peoples in this crazy world that have totally forgotten this basic concept!
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Great writing, again, and as useual, I very much appreciate this writing. And must say, that in my beginning years on here..there was a mutual understandig of this part of the bdsm world... Nów? since more and more uneducated vanillas with porn on their minds, enter this world too.... it seems to be getting nastier and nastier ...... to the point, that the contacts are almost all very rude... no decency, at all. And, then i did not even started on the load of mental cases here, thinking they can "solve" their problem by acting "the dom"..... terrible.. Also no knowledge about the moral codes of bdsm- D/s... Thank you for this reminder...
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very nice
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i agree with the author as well. respect and good communication are the cornerstones to a good relationship kinky or otherwise
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The Balance: Yes to everything, as I do seek a great relationship. Quite early though, the two should find out about what types of all this we see here on this site, that they have in common vs the deal-breakers that would have two people admit that they should each look elsewhere. I'm here and on other sites looking for a life partner, knowing here at least that here on this site there is an initial understanding that we are not Vanilla (regardless of how much I love the ice cream). Again, the Balance . . .
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👍👍👍👍👍
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I came across this piece of writing that resonated with me. It emphasizes the importance of respect as the cornerstone of any relationship. According to the author, possessing respect provides a solid and essential foundation for a successful lifestyle relationship. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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