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Christmas came without boxes or tags Wish i could copy and paste that famous quote from the grinch that stole christmas...stupid android notepad Christmas cant be bought..nor found on amazon... I had a suger cookie w icing tonight..been a long time since i had .. ..and that is all it took. I was " home" ..for a brief nano second.. .perhaps 7yrs old and my mother literally made like a hundred cookies.. We would decorate them with various colors via the food coloring and icing. Hell she even had fancy sprinkles.. We had so many that they filled our round kitcken table.. For someone unfamilure w me or this blog...there is literally No home.. For me .. go home . My parents,my dog,my brother have all passed on.. Someone else lives in my childhood home.. it's like my family for generations never existed Last time i was home was before my mom died like 4 yrs ago...Nothing changed in 20 years since i left. I literally walked inside my old home..i stood by the street sign that i grew up on. I was there in my own neighborhood. It was like i never left.. But i did...and i feel guilty every day. But..home was.. gone.. i missed being here...for 20 yrs.. And yep i felt quilty as AF...that i couldnt be there physically ..to help my family. My dad died of a heart attack.. my just passed quietly on the living room couch, my brother died of aggressive skin cancer.. And i had to kiss my mom goodbye..then fly back to kc before she passed a month later.. try being a big man and literally telling your 96 yr old mom goodbye..knowing full well you either had the funds see her before she died or at her funeral. It broke my heart kiss her goodbye..and walk away. But i shared those blogs with you..i literally cried for hours on end at the airport. That part of my life is closed Ask around my town and my family that lived there 3 generations.. Are memmories..we are just names on tombstones That door to... home..is closed. I know i will never get back. So.. all i got is memmories..of my mom..my brother..my dad..and my dog.. And for a brief momment tonight i got home ...and all was well.. could ask for a better christmas present.. Christmas. .isnt about material things ..take this from a guy that grew up dirt ass poor.. It's about family..and the memmories you will always have |
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I got to go home
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I am Happy you got to visit your home tonight Leo, Big warm hugs to you on this Christmas night. L
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So happy that home was there for you, Leo
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