Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > likesmatures > My Blog |
|
Sub? Slave? Are the terms interchangeable? See below |
|||
|
Omg! I know Its like the great masses cried out in the desert And Moses said.. I gots this shit.. Leo actually posting an interesting debate on lifestyle terminology. But it's not because someone in the peanut gallery demanded it. This is actually research for my story. I always thought sub and slave were interchangeable terms. Especially when i first moved to kc and entered the lifestyle. It seemed the lifestyle consisted of " mom and pop" type Dominates who were codsplaying. Draping themselves in leather and acting like they understood the old guard way. So everything was over the top. Yep nothing like a Dom in flannel that worked at the quickymart acting like he was king shit . . of the universe. But hey as bad as the Dominant were... Those that labeled themselves slaves put on such an act. So the rest of us just avoided the bs and called ourselves subs. But as im writing this story, im starting to form the opinion sub and slave are different. And need to be viewed and treated differently. So i wanted your opinion. Ill give my thoughts in the next reply
| ||
|
I ask this question because in my story the wife takes complete control over the husband. I'm infamous for my luv of objectification of a male. So yes in every sense of the word, the husband will be a slave.. I thought it wrong to call him submissive or a sub.. And the term "slave" seemed more appropriate. Now im reaccessing my earlier thoughts on these terms.. They arent interchangeable. To me the term used depends on the amount of control the Dominant wants.. If feel a sub is a guy that comes over,a bf,a husband and you do mutually agreed upon styles of play. I feel he stays bob..the cute guy from work..or tom the hottie sub you met on fet. He's the guy that will pressure the Domme to try say strapons or chastity ( how do i know? I was that guy) But with a slave...i feel he loses certain priveledges and famaliarities with the Dom... He is no longer bob or tom the bf that subs.. He is the slave. He for example cant touch her without permission. Play is now all about the Domme and her pleasure. The more control a person gives up.. If feel the more they lose their identity.. You become property.. But then again i am big into male objectification . For me it's all about the amount of control and how you see yourself in the lifestyle. For me there is a difference in how a bottom gets labeled.
| ||
|
Very different for me... Subs have rights, Slaves have none, in a nutshell!
| ||
|
And how do i know.. Im that sub guy that comes over and we do play that we're both into/ mutually agreed upon.. Cause lets face it.. If you both arent into strapons,goldenshowers,pain or whatever..your not getting together in the first place. And i feel alot of Dominants fall into this trap. The trap of treating a sub as bob or bob the boyfriend. He isnt bob the guy from work...you wouldn't squeeze any guy at work's balls.. You squeeze the balls of a submissive. He's a sub. Treat him like one So i feel a person can do more the further they distance themselves from bob..the person If you want a piggie...then start treating him like one. And the feeling progresses the further one progresses in the lifestyle. As you go from sub to slave i feel like there is a shift in power. How do i know? Im that sub that now wants that deeper control Your play now turn to her interest and enjoyment. Gone is the casualness one had with the Dominant. There may be new rules on say how you are to formally greet her..you might not be allowed to sleep in her bed or sit on the furniture She may not even think of you anymore as the husband or bf and see you mearily as a slave.. And treat you accordingly. To me it's like this.. A sub is like ...having your bf naked and played with before a crowd. It's casual..it's light hearted..its fun And a slave is like...grabbing a random naked boy at a playparty and beating his ass red. Gone is the casualness..gone is the goofyness.. It's more serious .. And you have distance..so it's mentally easier to really discipline this male. Most people have a hard time pushing males because they like them,have a connection.. how do i know..im that guy that had 3 different Dommes that liked me and couldnt do that. So if you want a slave..you need to start by treating a male as one
| ||
|
Well.... I think you mix up a few styles of BEING a slave or ACTING submissive, during a scene, play for your own benefit, in the end.... The one is play oriented, and in that case, for me! it does not matter much how you call yourself- because it is only play oriented. After the play- you act "normal" / vanilla again. A slave, who lives a 24/7 Totall authority Transfer relation is FIRST relation orientated The two people involved, really build a deep friendship, care and understanding for each other, negotiated, their hard limits etc... See if they are on more, then just the kinky fuckery, compatible, Have the same goals, ethical moral codes, etc... . And "play" is how they have sex, so to say... In a play role, a slave is only slave, as long as the play/ scene is on. In the scenes, the slave have to accept what is happening - BUT i hope, for sure, they TOO , negotiated the scene. All slaves have the right to end the connection, if that is survival contra productive against their health, or something else. It is totall crap, to say : A slave have no rights at all. That is crazy dangerous, especially with the psycho's around here.. the porn players, without any knowlegde about power exchange, the rights and responsibilities of both persons. This is, ofcourse my heterosexual slave like view.
| ||
|
there are subs, who dont want to be called slaves, for history sake, but in their behaviour, they ARE slaves. Submissive is, being in a scene, partial power exchange/ dominance. Slaves, are those who want to surrender, in all aspects of the Power Dynamic, every aspect of their lifes.. They both agreed to.
| ||
|
Sub and slave have gotten blurred. The distinction lost as more and more join the lifestyle but have little knowledge and then the blind teach the blind, the predators mislead the novices and misinformation gets passed on as gospel by the poorly taught and trained. A slave is (or was/should be) property. They have no rights by consent. They should have no limits t(the slave's limits being what their Master decides not to incorporate into the dynamic), instead having complete trust and faith in their Dominant. A submissive, is not property, is a partner in a relationship. They have rights, limits and more control of their situation and dynamic I think when the internet made BDSM more popular in the early days of AOL, Compuserve and Protegee, everything got blurred and relaxed as novices learned from books and faceless "experts" in chat rooms. everything in BDSM is about degree of intensity. sub and slave have become just another degree and title, sadly.
| ||
|
The distinction I've heard most commonly is that subs have limits and safewords, while slaves do not.
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
×
×