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likesmatures 55M
7129 posts
10/7/2023 6:51 am
Adult conversations: why did you choose Dominant,switch or sub


A story has to have a good beginning..

Or it was written by some Disney hack..

So what's my bdsm beginning? Why did I choose to be one role over the other.

I will briefly share my story and hopefully others chime in.

First off I believe alot of what we think of as " the lifestyle"..

Has been badly stereotyped and gives off the wrong impression.

Some may ponder...bro you list yourself as a male slave..
You'd even consider yourself a " pig" ( that explanation will come in a future blog).
A term that I don't find find offensive..if anything it's oddly accurate.

But you seem like a normal dude..you lift,you watch football, you work on cars,your blue collar,..and yeah I also play videogames..
I'm pretty much your standard white dude

You hardly seem??? What's a nice way to put it...
A doormat,a simp,a gimp...an onlyfans jerk off boy..a wimp

Sure I come off a bit of an asshat/prick at times...
But I'm not outwardly the stereotyped slave you see in movies and on tv.

And I'm not saying their aren't say the CEO that is a dick to his employees during the day and a complete sissymaid to a Mistress at night.

I'm just saying there is more to a role than a stereotype

To me the lifestyle is like my sexual orientation...I didn't choose it. But it is a part of me. I was born that way

So I consider my slavehood to be natural...it's not an act I put on.
..it's just I need the proper setting in order to openly share and embrace it.

By this I mean I can be the Leo you know from the blogs..opinionated,not letting people walk over me, being in charge even if I'm not..

And then get me around someone in a position of authority? And my submission just pours out..it really is funny to see

And I'm not even talking about a table of Dommes..

It could be a cop,a teacher,an aunt,a librarian, a doctor..and yeah esp nurses😉..

A nurse could literally tell me to get naked and bottoms up..
Being honest..I wouldn't even question her command.
Hell I wouldn't even process it..I would simply do it..

That<b> authority </font></b>figure type really triggers me cause deep down I'm an apple polisher type...the that didn't want to get into trouble and just wants to make the teacher happy.

Another question on your mind may be...but doesn't being a slave make you " less of a man", a bitch..

And I don't see this as an ignorant question or pov...

Because of the stereotype that some male slaves use their submission as a gateway to explore being more feminine,pegging,getting with dudes and more.

To a newbie/ an outsider..yeah you appear to be a " bitch"..by a vanilla standard.

While this may be the case for some...there are plenty of strong male slaves that never go down that path or are never used by their owner in that fashion.

He may be used as a stud. He may be fucking more people than you...hell he may be fucking your ass..you never know

I mentioned all of this being " natural" to me because the lifestyle was the missing piece of the puzzle.
Of my story

I grew up liking girls..had no interest in dudes...and then found out I'm not a top sexually. Topping to me seemed odd,funny...even weird.
It was like trying to write with your left hand.

Try to process this for a moment.. even today I still like women,I like to kiss,lick ..fuck I'm the oral champ when it comes to servicing a woman..eating out a pussy or ass

And fyi the equipment works well..I'm easily aroused..
I can / have been ridden before..

But topping doesn't do anything for me..it doesn't mentally compute..and yes I'm great in turning a Woman on,giving her oral orgasms..
Put pissed them off to no end when I couldnt plow the back 40.
So I crashed and burned until I was afraid to fly

Around college I started to process the concept of what a bottom guy was and my interest in men grew..
Back in the day the only easily means of porn was magazines..
And sure the ladies were fine. But the phone ads in back really caught my attention.
Not only naked gay studs...but also D ommes with big strapons

The lifestyle provided me a means to be with women...
Without having to top women..

So I fell into the lifestyle ass backwards..and embraced this role as bottom,sub,slave

And instead of feeling like a freak...cause I didn't fit into vanilla land.

I found I was greatly desired,wanted and appreciated by both the gay community and Dommes in general..

The concept of a guy being a bottom,submissive was old hat to them. Not a big issue.
If anything I was greatly desired.

But my story is not yours..I didn't make a choice..but maybe you can..

Just don't read into stereotypes..

And please see the tree through the forrest..

Meaning alot of bdsm can be boiled down to a power exchange..you don't have to see it in sexual terms
If you chose to be a slave, it doesn't mean your less of a man..
If anything it is defining the top role as the TOP.

Whether that ever applies to the sexual component is up to you all..

likesmatures 55M
4863 posts
10/7/2023 7:09 am

Being a slave is sorta like me liking men...

From my daily life maybe I don't give off those stereotyped vibes..
I come off as Billy bad ass,the guy with grease in his hands and a pissed off look on his face

But they always has been evidence that I enjoyed being a bottom,bdsm,men etc

I just need to be in the right environment, the right community to just let it naturally come out..

I may seem like a Billy bad ass you see at say the gas pump..the guy you ponder who pissed in his cheerios..

But I'm also the guy that now is tied up naked on a table with a tens unit attached to his balls..

I maybe be that dude now rolled into a ball and getting fucked silly.

Or that slave eating those pissed on cheeroes..

Like I said I am open to alot of lifestyle things.
The point of the series is to try to educate..
But more so explain why,how or what is going on when someone engages in certain lifestyle practices


likesmatures 55M
4863 posts
10/7/2023 7:18 am

And my intention isn't to log jam up the blogs with multiple post..

I most likely will do one a day

But I won't beat around the bush. The topics may not be your cup of tea. But they are honest..and most likely get your attention
And I'm not afraid to talk about these under discussed topics


NoNonsenseFromU 74M  
175 posts
10/7/2023 7:43 am

Interesting. I didn't chose. I have known - always known - that I am a dominant - that I like to be in charge and in control. This was as true in my professional life - always seeing out leadership opportunities - as in my personal life.


worshipyounow 66M
14 posts
10/7/2023 8:03 am

Mine started when I was very young playing "army" with my friend. I was the one he always "captured" then forced to strip for him and tied up. As I grew older I tried being a Dominate but it wasn't fullfilling. Now I love women and have been happily maried for many years to a wonderful woman. She has no interest in my "fetish" but we don't discuss my sexuality. I have been with Dommes and loved it, but I have also had at least one long term relationship with a Dom, who is now very old and frail so we don't see each other any more. I have a new Dom but he lives 40 plus miles from me and we don't get together much. Most of our stuff is done via text. Would I love to find a more local Dom/Domme absolutely! But it's very hard.


boh99 68M
3169 posts
10/7/2023 1:40 pm

my first wet dreams were of dominant women... angry mother, mostly absent father, probably never had a chance for it to be anything else.


tastetester61 62M
1787 posts
10/7/2023 5:59 pm

I didn't choose, it chose me. I've always been this way. A loner to some degree because I don't like to conform. Having said that, I do still have a strong moral compass.



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