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likesmatures 55M
7121 posts
12/4/2023 9:54 am
What is your biggest lifestyle fear


By now
Maybe you've guessed
That I missed my calling
In life..

And should have become a therapist.

I think part of my strength is
I can hold back judgement,not trying to instantly solve your problem,
Give you a wall to lean on and

Just simply listen..

So I was curious as to what holds you back from your lifestyle dreams and fantasises..

Why arent you that Big daddy Dom or super sissy slave...
What holds you back from being that kick ass Domme..

Why don't you have what you secretly desire...

And in the end

Would you be happy?

likesmatures 55M
4838 posts
12/4/2023 10:47 am

I'll be blunt and honest....

And hopefully others will respond and chime in with their stories..

I never felt like I really belonged in the lifestyle..

But at the same time
it oddly seems where I need to be.

It adds up if you follow the breadcrumbs..

And you'll find

Duhh ( spoiler alert)..

A natural straight out of the box bottom boy..

A guy that appears straight,has a sub undertone to him,yet is a complete bottom.

Just like a slinky It's fun for a g.
..er..woman or man..

I'm equally comfortable "bottoming" to both..

which wouldn't be odd if a woman said that...hell that would be hott..
.
kinda different coming out of a guy.

To me it's not the gender of the top..it's their position/ role that attracts me.

So yeah a female top/ a male top/ a couple top..

a Dominant can be straight,bi,queer,curious,a crossdresser,a trans,an A sexual,etc...to me it's all good

Which allows me to chill and just slide into the passive role

It's natural for me to be the little spoon..to be the passive..to be controlled.

So why am I not being that bottom bitch to some Queen or King?

That is a good question..

I think it is because most Dommes locally tend to be straight..
And even if they like the notion of a bend over boyfriend
They still want that boyfriend first and foremost ..

And why not some Gay Dom/ king...

The mix of gay with bdsm is sorta odd here..it's hidden,not as obvious and not as straight forward as you'd imagine..

So it's a bit rougher to find that kind of Dom..

And on something like fet..guys uses the gay groups ,mostly for hookups instead of play


likesmatures 55M
4838 posts
12/4/2023 12:21 pm

Let me clarify this mucked up stream..

I'm different...

Very straight acting,always been into girls,the usual bs growing up..

And then found that I'm good with women..

Loved making out,kissing, I'm very sensual, very good at stoking those fires..

And then

Nothing...

Harder than concrete..no joke

Yet nothing...

No desire what so ever to..

Top..

Nada..zilch

To me topping doesn't compute

So yeahhhhhh...

Now I got a woman all horny...I'm standing there with a hard dick..

And my mind says..huh..???

And you can imagine how many times I got women pissed off before I shut it down.

Now you might be thinking maybe I was traumatized as a kid..

Nope..

Was I sexually abused?

Nope..

Okay..okay...so your thinking I'm gay..I just didn't realise it yet..

Right???

Nope...if I was gay at that period in my life then I must have been the gayest man to ever win the pussy eating championship..
Cause yeah I have a real talent for that

So what gives?

It's funny if a woman stated she loves to submit to both girls and guys....it brings all the boys to the yard..it's sexy AF

But it's weird for a " straight" guy to explain that he doesn't top..

So what do I do now? I don't fit in..

Or do I?

Lucky for me I did enjoy anal..

And found that...

Yeahhhhhhh..hello nurse

There are groups of people that have nooooooooo

No

problem with a guy not topping..

Gay tops and Dommes..

If anything they loved that I didn't top

Finally iwasn't an oddball...if anything I was desired..

So I sorta slid into bdsm through the back door...literally...

Yep I figured a life of strapons for me

Like I stated I was already into anal and was " comfortable" with guys.

I'd consider myself more bi at this point of my lofe

So this seemed like a natural fit

My problem though was I never completed the circle and became a total bottom.

I hung out more to the Dommes side of the equation.

But it really seemed like they were less motivated at finding a slave then they were getting a husband/ boyfriend...

And if I could be the " boyfriend"... I'm not even sure I'd be here in the lifestyle.

So with them i felt I could never really embrace my bottom self.

The flip side to all of this is the older I got

The more compatible I became with men..

Till the point where I'd guess I'm gay...

But really don't like labels..

To me it really is about one's role...

So the top could be straight,male,female,bi,curious,gay,a unicorn,?

It's their desire to take the active role

And that frees me up to be passive.

And this situation can be purely sexual w/o bdsm...such in just a gay relationship.

It can be purely non sexual..say a straight Dom wants a dude to paddle or a Domme wants a slave to clean her house,etc..

Or it can be a mixture of sexual with the lifestyle...say the Christmas couple does want a slave he can fuck..
While the slave also orally serves her/ becomes her pussy slave..

All are example of various people I'm attracted to because they are sliding up to the top slot..
And pushing me into the bottom one.

Why I never got this desire...

Women want something I can't give them..no not the "D"..

But they want that " strong sub".. the guy that is passable on the streets but
Likes getting tied up in the bedroom sheets...the guy her girlfriends,co workers would never guess is a simp/ gimp..
Until he gets in the dungeon.

And that's not me..I'm manly but I've passive

And most guys aren't invested into bdsm as they are with getting laid.

With hiv ,stds flying around.

I just was never big on just sleeping around.

And being that complete passive bottom


likesmatures 55M
4838 posts
12/4/2023 1:04 pm

Would getting what I want make me happy?

I'd like to say yeah...whatever form it came it..

I think I'd finally get that last piece of that puzzle.

But I really think it's different than say someone taking hormones or getting a sex change/ transitioning..cause there is an active change.

I on the other hand just want to embrace who I am

Like I said it's weird when it's a dude...people think he must be x,y,z..maybe he has low T..is he gay???

Er lots of gay guys top...lot of gay bottoms also top..

I'm a bottom...I've always been..

A straight bottom that slid his way across the sexual orientation scale

It actually so comical...Netflix should pick it up


shackles4metoo 72M
1007 posts
12/4/2023 1:07 pm

What holds me back? Mostly age and medical issues. Thanks for a forum.


Tckg12 69M
2499 posts
12/4/2023 1:22 pm

what holds me back id fear of being outed


likesmatures 55M
4838 posts
12/4/2023 6:31 pm

Well that is a start,.

But what if..

What if you met someone like me..or the female version of me..

That could give you this fantasy and was cool with you..being..whatever you do for a living


boh99 68M
3154 posts
12/4/2023 9:36 pm

disease



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