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Why not use the lifestyle to get a man Originally I was against this principal because I felt women were abusing it.. And by abusing it I mean they had no "real" interest in Domming someone. Her focus seemed to primarily be the relationship A lot of times it's like...is she looking for a boyfriend..or a slave.. And for some women it's like that...she treats the dude as a dude..until she's ready to whip it out.. And then it's like she becomes another person or she is afraid to be a Domme in public They do a scene and it's back to being jim,bob,Tim the boyfriend. I feel this is wrong because he needs to be submissive,express himself,have a ying to his yang.. Submission isn't something you can just turn off and on. But like I said in yesterday's blog men are different... We aren't relationship forward...not saying we can't desire a relationship. But there is that getting know someone stage before we get serious. In the meantime men are very sex and play fueled. I think it's okay for men to use the lifestyle to get guys .. Why? Unlike women ...even if a guy isn't very Dominant..He's still a top.( most guys new to m2m are) He acts like a top..he gives off top energy... (Not sure if most guys realise this..) And yeah that is very attractive,appealing,satisfying to a bottom,slave like myself So there isn't that same constant need for him to be Billy bad ass.. He can treat a dude like a dude..but you both know whose in charge,whose the " daddy" ... And the more you fuck him.. The more that concept is driven home. You both know your natural roles. Now you might say....hold up couldn't a woman also top..whether sexually or otherwise...couldnt she just strap it on Yes...but then your not treating him just as a dude.. If your pegging him etc....isn't that being channelled into his submission. A regular dude will view pegging as kink....I viewed m2m as sex..that any guy can do My point is guys you don't have to be a Dom to get slaves,bottom guys.. I said it before..if your new,curious,straight..leaning bi...chances are you top. And you literally can be the nicest,most affection,cat loving topman in the world..one that wouldnt hurt a fly. But every time you crawl in bed with your bottom, you reinforce the pecking order,your showing him who is in charge,your reminding him of his role in the relationship. And you don't get that with m/f sex...your not " dominating" her. But with a dude,,,your happily filling that ass..hoping to shoot your big load,you want to breed him,etc And unlike women.. A top doesn't have to be skilled in bdsm in order to satisfy a bottom.. Why? I feel if a woman ties me up..my brain processes it as kink. So you still have that start and stop reaction of his submission. He views this as " kinky" because there isn't that top vibe in your day to day. If a man ties me up naked in bed...I don't view it as " kink: It's more like a natural extension of our roles as top and bottom. The rope,the handcuffs,the gag become an extension of his cock He doesn't need to break out the toy box to show who me whose in charge. Plus I feel there isn't that same dynamic.. With a Domme there will always be that pressure from the male to play/ topping from the bottom..which tends to burn ALOT of Dommes out With a man...? I feel within a meeting or two ..yeah your having sex.. Hopefully that doesn't suprise you...and yep even the nicest,cat loving top,wouldn't hurt a fly is getting laid..hes balls deep in the dude. The bottom,the slave may be able to chill because he already is getting a natural power exchange from the sex..So it may temper the need to flex on a Dominant. And the real bonus of using the lifestyle to find a guy The male is already into ALOT of things... So it makes it " easier" for a top...esp an older guy to bring up a fantasy,a desire... Without the other person freaking the fuck out. Let's be honest..if your all ready fucking him..and that isn't cap Is he gonna get pissed if you express a desire for say... Just an example...feet.. There you blurted out your hidden fetish..you love feet And he turns around and says.. Cool.. And you find yourself happily sucking his toes. Honestly it hard to shock a lifestyle bottom like myself |
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My point today is simple.. Men and women are gonna have a different experience when they fish in the bdsm pond for dudes I think with women you have to choose between a boyfriend that you occasionally explore with.. Or that constant slave. Cause anything you do to him will be processed as kinky. Like say sticking a toy in his ass. I don't think guys are good at shifting gears mentally between being the straight bf and your slave. Anything out of the normal 9 to 5 becomes kink..to them But with m2m such activities are a regular Tuesday night..like why wouldn't you.. A toy in his backside is processed as " normal". The dynamic between men is considered normal.. Nobody thinks..wow that 65 yr old guy wants to fuck that other guy.. Sooooo kinky... The power exchange probably isn't obvious/ out there.. But it's still a power exchange, it's setting up a pecking order. One that is reinforced through sex. So if or when you decide you want to get kinky.. Say bust out those nipple clamps and tie that bottom up.. You already have that foundation build...his role isn't changing/ fluxing.. A bottom is an off shoot of a slave.. And yeah there is no big public vs private persona switch.. If your in public as a couple...yeah people know..one has to bottom...duh..and it's kinda obvious who the bottom is And if your with friends,gay dudes.. You could introduce me as your slave.. And people are cool with that concept..it's quite common in the gay community Versus what a woman goes through...unless she is with close friends,a lifestyle group I doubt she will call her boyfriend her slave..most likely nobody knows Cause people view a slave as something kinky.. Instead of something day to day. It's just easier for m2m guys to go from vanilla to kink because of the bottom guy has been naturally prepped. It's harder for a woman to switch between the two world because of the males available and how society processes " top" women. Now I'm not saying a Domme can't use a cheat code and get a gay slave.. But yeah....there isn't a whole lift a demand for that..lol... A lot of them want that boyfriend slave..
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My final point: I think it's easier for a m2m top to instantly switch gears..from top to Dom Without upsetting the apple cart...seeing the ground work is already laid down. By this I mean a top could one night break out the rope,the cuffs,the paddle Without having to do it on the regular Without the bottom needing it/ bdsm to define himself.. Let's face it...with a woman I'm gonna need that constant Domming,I need her to be the authority figure.. If not..then I'm just a boyfriend sorta floating out there..it's hard for me to be submissive if there is no top vibe..I'd ask myself why am I even here..if I wanted to be a bf, I'd be a nilla bf. But with a guy..chances are your always getting that vibe..it comes off a dude naturally...whether he doms or not.. And if I'm getting that regular dose...I won't be constantly jonesing for bdbe. So bdsm can be brought out ocassionally Here is an example.. Say a woman tells me to get on all fours and lick her shoe.. Everybody including me are gonna process it as kink ,her as a Domme and me as a simp.. And I'm gonna expect her to act like that the next time Now you tell me to get down and lick your boots.. And it could be processed as normal play..hell even foreplay Why wouldn't I lick Daddy's boots..I already suck his cock.. But it's not like I expect him to now put on the leather chaps and be like that tomorrow I just think a m2m relationship allows a guy some room to explore
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