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Can you be happy with just parts of bdsm and not the full kit I talked previously about this...with the example of males that just spank...period..lol But I wondered about this " ex".. And like most dudes I was thinking whole picture. I wanted the whole bdsm scene. Where as she..was sorta finding her way as a Domme. And I've come to the conclusion. I could be with a Dominant person if they had only say 3 bdsm interest.. period. In the case of the ex..( in case your wondering).. And these aren't my choices...these choices are ones that would work best for us/ are reflected in the fet groups she now belongs to.. She is 68yrs old..not interested in traditional sex...or penetration.. I previously brought up the notion of chastity with her (.she now list a chastity,tease and denial group she joined on fet.) 1. I don't top,she has no need for a penis. She's tired of pushy males showing dick pics or wanting sex 24/7 on bdsm sites It seemed the easiest way to remove it from the relationship equation was long term male chastity. Out of sight..out of mind...no need for it until she wants it.. And then still no need to provide him/ owe him sex ..just hours of slow torture and edging him closer and closer. With no orgasm allowed for the slave. He grows soft and it's locked back back in its tiny cage once again. Taking sex from the slave may not be on every males bdsm wishlist. But it is perfect in this situation. I introduced the concept..I actual bought a cock cage and showed her how it worked.. But I also think it freaked her out a lil...and she wondered if there was any long term effects. She being new to being a Domme mind you Ironically most dudes " goon" over the thought of wearing a cage...they will push the concept on their partner..and when finally locked in one.. They balk to be let out..they whine and pout. I'm sorta different. I'm probably the ideal male for this type of play. I don't top, I'm not big...thank God..cause it honestly allows me to not only wear a cage long term comfortably. But also allows me to wear what is called a microcage...which prevents erections,keeps the cock in its natural small flaccid state. yeah..lol.I think a male's cock kept small like that is sexy AF...so cute😁. And is discrete AF..can't even tell I have one on,can wear it for long periods of time,forget I'm even wearing one. And for me..yes everything they tell you about cock cages is true...you do stop looking at other women, you do become more focused on the Dominant.. You stop focusing on your needs/ pleasures. You start finding pleasure in making her happy.. In case your curious..yes it is very doable to simply deny him masturbating,getting his orgasms. When he is caged..yeah nature will take over and he'll have wet dreams.. Or a Dominant can give the slave a release without an orgasm ( technique called a ruined orgasm). The release of spunk and an orgasm are two seperate functions. Or she can insert fingers into the slaves ass and prostate milk him. Which means there is no orgasm,there doesn't even have to have an erect cock. It is an easy,effective and fun way to get cum to literally drool out of that small limp slave dick 2. She doesn't want penetration but ideally wants an oral slave..someone to give her orgasms. And she shyly inched her way towards this ideal a few times. Once again..I like guys..but am also one hell of a pussy eater. So not a problem..I could do it for a living..if that was possible..lol. I talked about chastity and him kept horny/ denied orgasms.. So if he can't fuck..can cum..wont he find another GF/ Domme etc. No not really..it's like a guy with E.D. if he can't use his dick he gets real good with his tounge...real quick.. And pours his energy into..what amounts to tounge fucking her. His ego no longer revolves around sex,his need to get laid or his penis.. His goal now is wrapped around making the wife, gf,his owner cum hard AF,cum multiple times,wear her out sexually. Her orgasm is now his orgasm...he mentally gets off getting her physical/ sexually off.. After a lil while in his cage..he will no longer care about his orgasm. This is more stimulating...a proper use for a slave. 3. She listed a spanking group currently on her fet page.. And I know pain was never her thing...but I'm cool if that was something she wished to really explore.. 3.2..but if I had a say in these 3.. I could literally give up anal,pain,cbt,shocking devices being a etc.. In place of...now this may sound weird... But feet...and I don't even have a foot fetish.. But there is something so right with a Dominant standing/ siting.. And a male on the floor worshiping their boot,shoe,high heels,feet. It instantly denotes to everyone their status,their place and whose in charge. I have a thing for a Dominant being naturally superior and a slave inferior...and feet sorta really plays into it..lol I think if I could wear a cock cage,become her oral slave and worship her body,her feet as a sign of my slavehood.. Then I believe I could leave the rest behind... No strap ons,no mittens,no whips,..oh my... How about you??? |
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Sorry for being so long winded..but if I broke it up.. No doubt some Karen would deny my own reply.. Soooo yeah...I'm not saying I could function with these 3 particular fetishes with every Dominant..lol.. These 3 I felt sorta hit the head right on the nail for us... If there were to be a future us..lol.. I could leave the rest of bdsm behind.. And if your curious about a Dom..straight or gay My 3 big must haves.. 1. Touch..and by touch I don't even mean ..omg sex.. But a Dominant that enjoys playing with a slaves body.. Pulling the nips,jerking the cock,playing with the hole.. A guy that would luv to soap a naked slave up in a shower.. While being comfortable being clothed himself 2. A form of control...could be discipline..could be training me to be his dog..could be me cleaning his house naked. Just him having control over me and I would instantly follow..become his bottom 3. May sound odd..but ALOT of gay men roll play and enter into forms of Dad/ son ( adults I'm talking about here) relationships..it could mean role play or just seeing yourself naturally in these roles. So yeah..once again sex doesn't have to be a part of the equation. I could be happy just obeying an authorative male/ mentor figure.. Cuddling with him
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OK, now I get where your previous post about kinda picking and choosing BDSM activities like it's an a-la-carte menu came from. At the end of the day, all that really matters is that the people involved are content with the situation. Wrapping your ex post into it, if you're happy with the situation, she's happy with the situation, and you're both happy with the non-kink, every day humdrum of life and each other outside of the kink, then I don't see any issues. We're not talking about a few hours a week or whatever frequency here are we?
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Well sally...we don't or wouldnt live together.. It would be a hanging out,playing sorta thing... But it would also be a couple thing.. Obviously I wouldn't wear a cock cage for just a friend or someone I just play with.. My point to all of this is...i..like ALOT of people.,esp dudes get caught up in the bright lights/ big city that is Kink...we want it all And assume just cause you are a Dominant.. That you do too.. I'm finding there are people splintering away from this huge lifestyle notion.. And present themselves like those just into domestic discipline like 20 yrs ago. They are only interested in bondage/ edging... They might just being into spankings..period.. So in the past we judged these people as being fakes,not real Doms.. Maybe it's okay...to just take a few kinks from the bdsm buffet and you still can be happy.. My interest in chastity would complement her desire to be free of the male gaze,Men wanting sex,feeling like she needs to give a guy sex My locked up penis complements her sexual needs/ desires. My interest in oral slavehood complements her needs to be sexually serviced. I doubt these 3 would work with a Dom or Domme. So yeah my 3 would change depending on the Dominant.. Maybe one of their kinks is service and they desire a naked male to clean their house etc. I could still find happiness in certain scenarios of control and power exchange without all the rest of the lifestyle and it's trappings
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I think it's a great idea. Each person has certain kinks and as long as both parties are in agreement I think it would work!
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Well, I have to agree with drmgirl. This situation sounds like it would work for both of you, so why not give it a go. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. See, I don't agree with the notion that you have to do everything to be a "real" submissive or dominant. What matters is that needs are met on both sides and that's all. Just because you don't partake in a certain BDSM activity doesn't invalidate the dynamic. I'm definitely getting some "old guard" vibes here and I think see where some things are coming from. At then end of the day, all that matters is, is Leo happy or not.
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