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Is the art of communication dead? Pondering life in the middle of Hump Day. Because why not. I have my own blog, but this is the first time I've ever posted one here. I’m old enough to remember a time when if you wanted to communicate to someone immediately, you had two choices: see them in person, or call them on the phone. And if you called them, you took your chances that they weren’t home and wouldn’t answer. There was no voicemail. Or they were already on the phone and you got a busy signal. If you had an emergency and had to get through, you dialed the operator and had them break in on the call. People weren’t all that accessible. But somehow, they got things done. They made plans. They did communicate. Now, people are basically accessible 24/7. Many of us have a phone on our person or at our fingertips at all hours. But we don’t have to make phone calls anymore if we don’t want to. There is texting. There is email. There is online messaging. There is Skype. You can communicate with anyone, anywhere, anytime. So why do people communicate less now? How did we get so damn busy, so distracted, that we have the attention spans of gnats? Do we have too much stimulation? Is there simply too much to do and too little time in which to do it? Or do we just not care all that much anymore? I can understand that in other times, people didn’t have the time to devote a large chunk of it to a visit, or to a long phone conversation. But now, it takes, literally, a matter of seconds to let someone know you’re thinking about them. You can fire off a text. You can drop an email. My partner John and I talk about this. His standard explanation is, “People are busy. And they’re afraid that if they engage, they’ll get caught up and obligated to keep responding.” Yeah, god forbid we should have to respond to others; what a burden. Okay, so people are too busy to answer a text? How come they’re not too busy to binge-watch hours and hours of streaming TV? Or play games online? Or engage in social media until their eyes bug out? Last weekend, John and I went out to a nice dinner to celebrate our anniversary. There was a family of three at the table next to ours — a dad, a mom, and a teenage boy. While they sat and waited for their food, all three of them stared down at their phones in front of them. They didn’t say a word to each other. The phones weren’t put aside until they got their dinner, and after they were through, the phones were picked up again. Why bother going out together? In the past couple of days, I’ve gotten a text that reads: “Sorry, I can’t talk to you right now.” I have no idea who the sender is. I don’t know the number. Not only is this person too busy to talk, they’re apparently too busy to even bother to check if they’re texting the right number. People have the time to travel everywhere to convene with friends. But they don’t seem to have time to spend with local ones. So what you have is billions of people, with every possible way to connect… and who feel more alone and isolated than ever. We all want to feel special. We all want to matter. And yes, we all crave attention and validation; some people more than others. So what do we do? Some of us become performers. We provide entertainment until people get bored with us and move on to the latest and greatest performer. Some of us go on really crappy reality shows and make complete asses of ourselves, but hey, at least people are noticing us. That is, until the next hot mess supersedes us. Some people make a whole lot of noise on social media, gathering followers and constantly posting/tweeting to keep their name on feeds. Until they stop… and no one notices. And in extreme cases, some others, feeling disenfranchised and forgotten, get guns and go on shooting rampages with them. Some strive to stay connected, throwing out those texts and messages like little digital life preservers. Until they start feeling like maybe they're being a pest and stop. And then it’s metaphorical crickets. “Hey, where have you been? Are you okay? I’ve been thinking about you,” seem to be lost phrases. Because we’re just too damn busy and distracted to notice or care that someone’s gone missing. Does anyone read anymore? Is anyone reading this post? I know that I've written a very thorough introduction on my profile, stating clearly what I seek and hope for. But I don't think too many people actually read any of it; they don't look past the pictures. I've said "NO DICK PICS, please" until I'm blue in the face. Still get them. The other day I was on IM and one guy messaged me about seven times. "I can see you reading my messages," he wrote. I did. And I didn't answer them. Because I didn't want to engage with his dick in my face. Read, y'all. We're all looking to connect. Pay a little more attention and your chances will increase exponentially. We may be on a kink site, but we're still people, not just bodies. Of course, there is one sure-fire way to get noticed, to be appreciated, to have people say kind things about you. You can die. But that kinda sucks. Because you’re, well, dead. And you’re not around to hear the kind things. You don’t get to realize that you mattered after all. And now I'm going to hit Send. And wait to get the comments that read: "You just need to be fucked/spanked/whatever." (sigh) |
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hello , i think brevity is better suited for the present times  be good M .(84 never looked so good )
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I applaud this cri-de-coeur! I'd write you a postcard to say "Bravo!" I remember setting out on epic journeys to visit friends based on a faith that they'd either be in when I got there or else back soon! Maybe we left a message on their answerphone first but we knew the message would get through! We may be too late to counter the curse of the four-screen accompaniment to a family dinner, though. I had a friend, an early adopter of the mobile phone. His dad came to visit him and simply threw the phone out of the window! Dad had seen the future! Welcome to Blogland. 
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So nice to see someone else my age on here. Your blog is very good. So many people seem to have forgotten or no longer care to communicate with each other.
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very nice blog , Ive have thought about some of the same things I even remember a party line and had to wait for your turn to use the phone . I like hanging with friends and just chatting about weather lol you get the idea . For 84 you look great lol
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I like the rule when going out for dinner. All phones in the middle. First person who picks up a phone before the meal is over and check paid, PAYS THE WHOLE CHECK! You'd be surprised how much everyone enjoys actually talking in 3D. LOL
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I don't entirely agree, at least in my case. My family is spread out all over the country and even abroad. In the past, news took long to arrive, letters and photographs had to be sent via snailmail - and that was often discouraging. Nowadays, I get all the tidbits and pictures almost real time. I'm much more in contact with my siblings and their respective families. Often, along the day, we post something and the others reply till the subject is spent, as if we were together. We don't need to wait for (rare) family reunions anymore.
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I like technology, truly I do. I love how many people I've been able to reach in the computer age. I love texts and emails because I find phone calls tedious. I wouldn't want to "go back" in any way. I just wish we weren't so fast-paced and distracted all the time. It's hard to get a sense of trust and grounding when everything happens so fast, and so fleetingly.
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Just love to.stop.and smell the roses
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Lol , I'm not 45 either just so you know
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lol don't we both wish
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one of the hardest things for people is to adjust you look fantastic very very very sexy pics stunner body made my morning
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Good post. Not sure how I missed your blog. But welcome. Best to you. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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