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On a Sad Note...... Well soon I will depart from this website for the last time. I have met some very interesting people but good and bad but as it stands now after almost 20 years of being a member here, this day I have actually met 2 people, and one of those was a & well the other I hope meet the near future. Now I have meet a few good friends as well, and most of them are old school BDSM like myself, today its a lifestyle I guess, but for me it is something I have lived since I was brought into it back in my 20's. Unfortunately, life for me has been rather cruel, as my very first 24/7 relationship, sub/slave/little , she was truly priceless.....I lost cancer after almost 4 beautiful years we were together. We met behind closed doors a part back the 80's....and we knew she had cancer & not long, but after a time we didn't care. Then a 2nd marriage a combination of vanilla/sub of yrs....the last 5 I only stay cause of ....she cheated on several times when I was traveling for work. ended 2000 and so did normal life. I have Degenerative Disc Disease.....a progressive disease eats away at the vertebrae back. diagnosis wasn't given until around time, but I had been living with it since Honorable Discharge from the USMC because of it. But until 2000 I lived normally but things changed...slowly I went from playing baseball,<b> soccer </font></b>& with , walking with a cane & now with a crutch & sometimes two of them. But I function normally. In 98 I met what turned be the literal love of life. I joined a disability website talk with people about the pain I feel daily. In 2000 I actually met this person face face & we spent the next 9 years together until I lost her to her disease....MCTD (Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder).....its a form of Lupus, and May of 2009 it took her life. The next 2 years I spent alone, own house, and figured what the hell....I found a very special woman. After a time I come find she was a full slave....but we were thousands of miles apart.....long story short....after 10 years.....I saw her only 2 times....for a week 20 & 3 weeks 20...both attempts file for her visa failed...because of government bull...or whatever right now it doesn't really matter as I ended the entire thing over a year ago now. In the past year I reopened long time here & a couple other similar sites looking for one thing....a 24/7 long term D/s or M/s relationship, preferably with a woman close age....40+.....But it's fun what you start see .......I have been told simply...."""I don't want to be with a cripple"" I have been told....""you have allot of baggage cause you are disabled"" .....never got an answer as to what baggage I have ....so I don't know..... I try to talk to people....even who simply want information so they say & I get ridiculed....treated like a piece of trash....among other things....does it bother ....not really....I have life....I own house & car...I have no debt.....all I want is someone real share a life with...and all the years here I have found maybe 1 whom I can positively guarantee is really is interested....yes there have been a couple others but there were things make us not fit.......and you want know how I can do..... Just ask someone go CAM CAM TALK....cause if they are real, not a problem & if they are really interested....they will be more than happy make it happen. I hear soooooooooooo many excuses.....but people don't seem understand....EVERY laptop made now has a built cam....95% of monitors made for desktops have a cam....you would have to go back to the 80's to find a computer doesn't have the ability use a cam....how do I know these things....because I have work on & with computers since their beginning....I have worked with the internet way back when it initially was known as the BBS(Bulletin Board System) ...worse thing is I met a woman on the BBS from England....I fell in love & God what I wouldn't do find her again....anyway when in doubt.....go cam cam & if they are real & truly interested in you...not a problem..... It's funny....20 years ago people would scramble go cam cam.....they were a hurry do it & see each other's face.....now they are scared death.....go figure.......all I wanted was find one special woman share a life with.....but I never wildest dreams ever expected find some of the things I did find....the fakes....this findom now is a laugh the new & Mama, just the new name....why?? Is there really love anymore....?? I haven't given up....never been one give up.....but its so so so hard........ I wish everybody truly the best of luck what they seek and hope all they will find it.........until the end time......be happy.................. |
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