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| Blogs > PerfectPussy86 > Ramblings of my BDSM journey |
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Exploring my Submission My experience so far has been more on the Domme side. I was too nervous to explore my submissive side because there wasn’t someone I trusted enough. For me, being a Domme is about just using the man in front of me. I LOVE pussy worship, so any man with a tongue is useful to me. I can tell them exactly what to do, without being called pushy, or bruising the man’s ego as it would be seen in the vanilla world. Roughly 2 months ago, I met someone who has completely changed my world. It was unexpected. I was seeing 3 people at the time (2 submissives and one semi-vanilla) but within about an hour of speaking, I knew this man was going to hugely important to me. I said goodbye to the other guys and focused all my energy on him. I hadn’t even met him yet and I was ready to submit to him. He lives in another country, but it didn’t feel like an obstacle. I cannot pinpoint what it was about him which has made me want to submit, he just seemed to see me for me, he accepted me for exactly who I am. He is an incredibly special person, and like no one I have been with before. He is incredibly dominant, without a single submissive bone in his body so I knew from the outset all my dominant urges needed to be ignored. If I am completely honest though, a lot of those urges disappeared as soon as I met him in person. The Domme side, as mentioned earlier, comes from the need to feel pleasure and be pleasured. My Master can bring the pleasure I crave without instruction, just his touch can send shivers through me. Master has incredibly high standards, and why shouldn’t he? He is superior in every sense. He expects the upmost respect at all times which is also what he deserves. Don’t get me wrong, I write as though he can do no wrong and I believe in everything he stands for however the more time we spend together, the more I see where our opinions may differ. Of course, I have some concerns, for example, I know he has a sadist side. To me, pain is a punishment and not to be enjoyed. I can take some pain, but I rarely get any pleasure from it. Does this mean I not be enough for him, and this side of him? Will he want to end things with me because I cannot fulfil the expectations he has. Another side which he and I have spoken about is monogamy. I am very much of the opinion that if I am with him and he is with me, why would he want anyone else? Master has only really been in open relationships which is a concept I massively struggle with. What if he plays with someone else and falls hopelessly in love with them and I am forgotten? What if I am no longer going to be his main priority and what if that girl is thinner than me, prettier than me, can fuck better than me? I know that other people will be included in our relationship, through threesomes, gangbangs and other ideas we have discussed…but what about him with another female when I am not there? My Master does an incredible job of putting my mind at ease about this topic, but I also know it isn’t an unresolved issue. This is my issue as clearly the questions I have are more my insecurities. He is so patient with me! So those are 2 points which show nothing is perfect but on the positive side, even with my concerns, the positive far outweigh potential concerns. Master is the first person who accepts all the love and devotion I have to offer. He appreciates it. He doesn’t judge me, he doesn’t make me feel silly for showing my emotions and most importantly he does not run away. Instead he showers me with his love, in his unique way. I feel safe, I feel loved, and I am even beginning to feel beautiful…possibly even sexy! Think this is enough rambling for today 😊 |
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It sounds like you have something going in the right direction.
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Very good
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The initial phase of figuring things out is fraught with questions but also captivating, isn't it? I can hear your excitement even through the anxiety. Hope this works well for you.
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He's in another country. No one should have to tell you you're wasting your time with him.
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you would be a superb sub/woman for your master
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1 post 11/13/2019 12:04 pm |
A wonderful show of Yourself Mistress, a horrible shame to lose You but so glad to see You happy and very Happy at long last. Its loss is Yours and His gain so pleased for You Mistress x It was a pleasure serving You x
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I think you are incredibly lucky to have found someone with whom you just "click"....someone who is able to trigger your subliminal urge s to be dominated completely. For many, it is about dealing with the person in front of you on a physical level rather than being affected by their mental strength as well. The distance means nothing if he is able to control you from afar and you want to offer yourself to him and him only. A truly lucky Dom with a wonderful sub......very pleased for you.
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