Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > infinitepoetess > Poetic Pussy Craft |
|
The Making of a Natural Submissive After 20 years in the lifestyle, it becomes clear how hard it is to distinguish character flaws and strengths from the roles we live. I am submissive naturally. If that is so, then why did I not become dominant? It clearly was not a choice I made. It was how I was to be. I knew it deep within, early in life.  My mother was very domineering in a narcissistic parental way. After much introspection, I believe this is why I became naturally submissive. How did I come to this hypothesis? Because as a mother, I knew that my passive way of parenting likely was the cause of my own showing narcissistic domineering behavior early on. It came to me as I watched her . She would be the more dominant one in her relationships. Was I the cause of that? I wondered. While investigating this, I ran across a study done and published on Dominant Behavior Systems (DBS) in Behavioral Psychology DBS is a system used to explain behaviors in place with humans in social, emotional, and relationship structures in their lives based on rewards and punishments. It is the amount of effort and effectiveness with which a human will get their needs and desires met, to get enrichment and lives balanced without being punished and getting a reward for their behavior. Am I losing you yet with my geeky inner thoughts? Follow me down the rabbit hole...you can just focus on the little bunny tail  Parental Styles: Basically DBS, involves three parenting styles 1. Passive 2. Aggressive 3. Assertive Limits describe whether a parent uses passive, assertive, or aggressive discipline. Passive discipline tends to be hands off parenting; assertive discipline is self-assured and shows respect for others creating a win-win outcome for the parent and ; while aggressive discipline is said to be “old school” with techniques such as smacking, using a wooden spoon, and yelling. Example: My mother was an aggressive parent in discipline, I became a submissive out of anxiety and low self esteem issues to begin with, That is not negative as long as you deal with those issues, My parenting was more passive in that I allowed my mother and master to make all the rules and I just mitigated, which would account for me raising a naturally dominant . Her negative traits would include narcissistic tendencies and a power hungry driven reward system. Again, not a given but as long as you strive to learn, you recognize the tendencies. And if they were a single parent, as mine was, that influences the equation even more. Now of course there will be variables. We are humans. You may have a passive parent and an aggressive model/disciplinarian. You my have an aggressive parent left you with a passive caretaker or worse an un-involved parent completely. There can be traumas that occur that alter the psyche. So many what ifs....But, I bet my bottom dollar that being naturally anything is a combination of nature, and nurture.... And so the cycle goes... We are now at the end of the rabbit hole. Follow the bunny tail and tell me... Do you think this theory has merit? What was your parent's or your parenting style? What have been the results?  |
||||
|
Poetess They are great pics  I don't know the answer but it seems we are what we are as a combination of nature and nurture! Why do some people switch? Did they have mixed parenting? A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
| |||
1/11/2020 8:06 pm |
My daughters grew up without their mother. Today, the elder girl is the most perfectly dominant personality I have ever met and the younger can switch in a blink. Nature or nurture? I just don't know.
| |||
|
I think a large part of it is what is naturally inside of us.
| |||
|
I agree with your study. I always have said it was nature and not that you woke up one day and said I want to be submissive or the dominant one. ots something that comes out from deep with in us.
| |||
1/11/2020 11:37 pm |
I had a very passive mother, yet turned out submissive myself, so in my case, I do not conform to your theory.
| |||
|
Here's your sign....
| |||
1/12/2020 4:39 am |
I've been hoping to come across something like this. Thank you, Poetess. Both the precis of DBS theory and your own thoughts are very informative. I'm interested in how this might illuminate what I think is the conspicuous and puzzling asymmetry of heterosexual D/s: the great excess of submissive men compared with the number of dominant women. People tend to attribute the large numbers of submissive women and dominant men to social conditioning, but that theory breaks down when it comes to explaining the number of male subs. My parents separated when I was two years old. On the basis of DBS, this might explainwhy I'm more a switch than anything else (if we're going to categorise people on the basis of their sexual tastes). However, I've always related it to the vaguely sexual games I used to play with a girl of about my age, when we were both about six.
| |||
|
I've been hoping to come across something like this. Thank you, Poetess. Both the precis of DBS theory and your own thoughts are very informative. I'm interested in how this might illuminate what I think is the conspicuous and puzzling asymmetry of heterosexual D/s: the great excess of submissive men compared with the number of dominant women. People tend to attribute the large numbers of submissive women and dominant men to social conditioning, but that theory breaks down when it comes to explaining the number of male subs. My parents separated when I was two years old. On the basis of DBS, this might explainwhy I'm more a switch than anything else (if we're going to categorise people on the basis of their sexual tastes). However, I've always related it to the vaguely sexual games I used to play with a girl of about my age, when we were both about six. GMTA I think this theory will apply with or without sex involved. We do not have to have sex in our dynamics of DS As a matter of fact most Doms I have met worth their salt do not allow sex to be the end all be all.
| |||
|
My parent's parenting style was "unavailable", so I'm not sure how I became so dominant in my day to day life and so submissive in my play life? Interesting thoughts though. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
| |||
|
My parent's parenting style was "unavailable", so I'm not sure how I became so dominant in my day to day life and so submissive in my play life? Interesting thoughts though. Submissives can be dominant in their day to day life. I am one such person. But my emotional stability and personal life are based around submissive ideals.I think this may be true of a lot of submissives.
| |||
8/7/2022 5:15 pm |
Very interesting reading.
| |||
|
Very interesting reading.
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
×
×