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Would You Offer Your Throat? Yes!  I once met a man on Alt, he was local and ran a dungeon on the other side of the state. Many submissives had warned that he was dangerous, and that he scared them with his play. Curiosity is one of my more feline traits, as well as a little streak of defiance, which usually spells trouble in a heartbeat. I contacted him and he invited me to the dungeon for a social. Luckily, he had a new slave to add to his harem. So, that night was spent watching her get her ass beat to a bruised mess while I sat in as a demo for rope suspension with his leather brother (hence the infamous photo you now see as my profile pic). It turned out he was not quite so scary to me after all, and as a matter of fact, he seemed like a man with a bit of a Napoleonic complex who showed off with much bravado and noise, but truly dangerous? I suppose he could have been, given a different circumstance, but I think not. There was a story a fellow recovering addict told me about. She was bound up and thrown in the back seat of a car by her boyfriend's dealer, the ;"Big"; man. As he took her out into the country, she said she told him it was real fucked up to expect that a drug addict was going to pay and follow orders to extract her, another drug addict, from danger. Mr."Big"; told her he was going to place cement shoes on her and throw her in the river if her boyfriend declined to . She said she stupidly and boldly told him "Where I'm from, the ones who say they're going to do something, usually don't do it. So I think you're bluffing, and you don't have the balls to do it or you wouldn't talk about it so much." After laughing until our sides hurt, I em-pathetically asked her,"Well, that's smart, were you scared?"; She nodded a little bit, but she remarked back, "You know the game and you play it according to what you know about the street and people."; Yeah, isn't that the truth? I nodded a knowing nod of respect. The street don't take no bullshit, and you learn the game of mind fucks, scams, and the human nature to survive. The scariest individual you will ever meet will be the most silent about his deadly plan. Someone who brags, boasts, puts on ""airs; he is a nothing, a ""poser"" compared to the Devil incarnate version, who can truly incite terror. A ""terrorist"" does not blaze into town with a neon sign on his forehead proclaiming himself to be one. DUH! So when in submissive context, I do not fear the DimDom that is boastful, I respectfully fear the quiet ones, because they are always the most cruel and sadistic. Why would anyone want to fear their lover? There of course are all the scientific backings for theories on why I would want "fear;" my lover. As my mother's cryptic understanding, which is largely a demented view of her vanilla compression of sexual inhibitions, would say, ;"Why on earth would you get off on that ?;" Well, it could be I am a very psychiatric dysfunctional hybrid of the human species, or I am free with my sexual self and admit my darkest desires openly in order to validate they are real. Making them a repression, would make me more sick in the long run. I am now onto a spiritual journey of life like no other compares... Which is it? The simple fact is by facing my fears, I have grown and become a better version of what I was. I no longer go traipsing around the town whoring for the next high and placing myself in REAL danger. I no longer hide myself in a cage of guilt made by the confines of my parent's train of thought in how I should live my life, nor society's standard of my existence. Beyond that came a whole treasure trove of other things I hadn't bargained in the beginning. I craved fear. I craved adrenaline. I craved pain, but was giving myself emotional pain beyond the suffer-able, and would have potentially lost myself in it. I would most likely have been dead within months, days, minutes... When you stare your mortality in the face, there is an edge you stare over and flip the devil the bird. I do not fear death any longer, because it is inevitable. But, perhaps now, I sometimes fear living to an extent more than death. Death seems more of a freedom. Here, on earth is where you can create a hell that can entrap you and linger for indefinite times¦ ;"I have a mission. I have come to wake you up. I am here to hurt you, make you cry. I am not a protector, nor a caretaker. And I sure as hell am not a good shepherd. I do not bring any promise of salvation. I will not deliver you. I am only here to make you think, to open your eyes and SEE. There will be no cuddly aftercare. You will not get your fix of sentimental schmaltz. Whatever is your life is your life, not mine. I have no face , no history, no future. I am only in the eternal here and now. Now. Here. You can not touch me. You can not trap me. You can not even see me. All you can see is a reflection of your mind's eye, what your senses and your faculties and observation are telling you. Fear is an energy - and I am a powerhouse."Max Faust When he incites fear in me, I feel the need to live again, the inner struggle of life force against the attacker. I feel the desire course through my veins and I am alive from the tips of hairs to the core of my soul and within that moment, I glory in living. When the pleasure crests and meets pain with equal intensity - I fly with a freedom I never knew. And even as I struggle and want to fight, I relent to trusting him, and it is the most priceless moment. In that very instant, I have submitted my basic instinct of survival and from there I would give him anything he wants¦ The dichotomy is that even with all his power, he is humane enough to restrain himself and care for my needs, even when I don't care any longer. Even when I beg for irreparable damage¦he spares me ¦ This is why I love to dance with the Devil. Playlist song for this post is You took the Words Right of Mouth - Meatloaf On a hot summer night Would you offer your throat the wolf with the red roses? Will he offer you his mouth? Yes Will he offer you his teeth? Yes Will he offer you his jaws? Yes Will he offer you his hunger? Yes Again, will he offer you his hunger? Yes! And will he starve without you? Yes! And does he love you? Yes, Yes On a hot summer night Would you offer your throat the wolf with the red roses? Yes I bet you say that to all the boys.... |
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Lyrics are from Meatloaf 
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2/5/2020 10:08 am |
Totally love Meatloaf!!! His music inspires
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so true about those who brag and the quiet ones
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2/5/2020 10:36 am |
One of my favorite Meatloaf songs. Jim Steinman was a lyrical genius
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I absolutely adored this post. It hit home to me on so many levels. You're so right about the quiet ones. Your post reminded me of a Hunter S. Thompson quote that I love. As for the song I recognized it as soon as I saw the title of the post. (Awesome as well). "The Edge" By Hunter S. Thompson The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. The others — the living — are those who pushed their luck as far as they felt they could handle it, and then pulled back, or slowed down, or did whatever they had to when it came time to choose between Now and Later. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Totally love Meatloaf!!! His music inspires
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so true about those who brag and the quiet ones 
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One of my favorite Meatloaf songs. Jim Steinman was a lyrical genius
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Definitely a true classic
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You can't beat classic Meatloaf.
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Meatloaf rocks! I have been to Hell and back. Fear is something that keeps us safe. This is an interesting post. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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I would post more except some of the topics are very dark. I know the posts would be censored.. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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poetess This is another great instructive post A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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I read this by the dashboard light
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2/5/2020 8:07 pm |
I read this by the dashboard light
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Definitely a true classic
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I have been to the edge ,I've looked the devil in the face and said fck off .... looking into the abyss will let you know your alive  In truth the devil was nothing ,it was just me stretching it simply let me know I was alive Awesome post /Tips hat ~ Master Mentor PS .. Appreciate your Moments ,if you don't who will  Thank you
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Meatloaf rocks! I have been to Hell and back. Fear is something that keeps us safe. This is an interesting post.
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poetess This is another great instructive post
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I read this by the dashboard light 
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Good to know! Makes notes
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Good to note
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