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infinitepoetess 54F
6326 posts
2/5/2020 9:40 am
Would You Offer Your Throat? Yes!



I once met a man on Alt, he was local and ran a dungeon on the other side of the state. Many submissives had warned that he was dangerous, and that he scared them with his play. Curiosity is one of my more feline traits, as well as a little streak of defiance, which usually spells trouble in a heartbeat. I contacted him and he invited me to the dungeon for a social. Luckily, he had a new slave to add to his harem. So, that night was spent watching her get her ass beat to a bruised mess while I sat in as a demo for rope suspension with his leather brother (hence the infamous photo you now see as my profile pic).

It turned out he was not quite so scary to me after all, and as a matter of fact, he seemed like a man with a bit of a Napoleonic complex who showed off with much bravado and noise, but truly dangerous? I suppose he could have been, given a different circumstance, but I think not.

There was a story a fellow recovering addict told me about. She was bound up and thrown in the back seat of a car by her boyfriend's dealer, the ;"Big"; man. As he took her out into the country, she said she told him it was real fucked up to expect that a drug addict was going to pay and follow orders to extract her, another drug addict, from danger. Mr."Big"; told her he was going to place cement shoes on her and throw her in the river if her boyfriend declined to .

She said she stupidly and boldly told him "Where I'm from, the ones who say they're going to do something, usually don't do it. So I think you're bluffing, and you don't have the balls to do it or you wouldn't talk about it so much."
After laughing until our sides hurt, I em-pathetically asked her,"Well, that's smart, were you scared?";
She nodded a little bit, but she remarked back, "You know the game and you play it according to what you know about the street and people."; Yeah, isn't that the truth? I nodded a knowing nod of respect.

The street don't take no bullshit, and you learn the game of mind fucks, scams, and the human nature to survive. The scariest individual you will ever meet will be the most silent about his deadly plan. Someone who brags, boasts, puts on ""airs; he is a nothing, a ""poser"" compared to the Devil incarnate version, who can truly incite terror. A ""terrorist"" does not blaze into town with a neon sign on his forehead proclaiming himself to be one. DUH! So when in submissive context, I do not fear the DimDom that is boastful, I respectfully fear the quiet ones, because they are always the most cruel and sadistic.

Why would anyone want to fear their lover?
There of course are all the scientific backings for theories on why I would want "fear;" my lover. As my mother's cryptic understanding, which is largely a demented view of her vanilla compression of sexual inhibitions, would say, ;"Why on earth would you get off on that ?;"
Well, it could be I am a very psychiatric dysfunctional hybrid of the human species, or I am free with my sexual self and admit my darkest desires openly in order to validate they are real. Making them a repression, would make me more sick in the long run. I am now onto a spiritual journey of life like no other compares...

Which is it?
The simple fact is by facing my fears, I have grown and become a better version of what I was. I no longer go traipsing around the town whoring for the next high and placing myself in REAL danger. I no longer hide myself in a cage of guilt made by the confines of my parent's train of thought in how I should live my life, nor society's standard of my existence. Beyond that came a whole treasure trove of other things I hadn't bargained in the beginning.
I craved fear. I craved adrenaline. I craved pain, but was giving myself emotional pain beyond the suffer-able, and would have potentially lost myself in it. I would most likely have been dead within months, days, minutes...
When you stare your mortality in the face, there is an edge you stare over and flip the devil the bird. I do not fear death any longer, because it is inevitable. But, perhaps now, I sometimes fear living to an extent more than death. Death seems more of a freedom. Here, on earth is where you can create a hell that can entrap you and linger for indefinite times¦

;"I have a mission. I have come to wake you up. I am here to hurt you, make you cry. I am not a protector, nor a caretaker. And I sure as hell am not a good shepherd. I do not bring any promise of salvation. I will not deliver you. I am only here to make you think, to open your eyes and SEE. There will be no cuddly aftercare. You will not get your fix of sentimental schmaltz. Whatever is your life is your life, not mine. I have no face , no history, no future. I am only in the eternal here and now. Now. Here. You can not touch me. You can not trap me. You can not even see me. All you can see is a reflection of your mind's eye, what your senses and your faculties and observation are telling you.
Fear is an energy - and I am a powerhouse."Max Faust


When he incites fear in me, I feel the need to live again, the inner struggle of life force against the attacker. I feel the desire course through my veins and I am alive from the tips of hairs to the core of my soul and within that moment, I glory in living. When the pleasure crests and meets pain with equal intensity - I fly with a freedom I never knew. And even as I struggle and want to fight, I relent to trusting him, and it is the most priceless moment. In that very instant, I have submitted my basic instinct of survival and from there I would give him anything he wants¦ The dichotomy is that even with all his power, he is humane enough to restrain himself and care for my needs, even when I don't care any longer. Even when I beg for irreparable damage¦he spares me ¦
This is why I love to dance with the Devil.

Playlist song for this post is You took the Words Right of Mouth - Meatloaf
On a hot summer night
Would you offer your throat the wolf with the red roses?
Will he offer you his mouth? Yes
Will he offer you his teeth? Yes
Will he offer you his jaws? Yes
Will he offer you his hunger? Yes
Again, will he offer you his hunger? Yes!
And will he starve without you? Yes!
And does he love you? Yes, Yes
On a hot summer night
Would you offer your throat the wolf with the red roses? Yes
I bet you say that to all the boys....


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 9:46 am

Lyrics are from Meatloaf


Kitkatshadow 57F

2/5/2020 10:08 am

Totally love Meatloaf!!! His music inspires


QBee4u 39F
34 posts
2/5/2020 10:18 am

so true about those who brag and the quiet ones


olderdaddy_63 68M

2/5/2020 10:36 am

One of my favorite Meatloaf songs. Jim Steinman was a lyrical genius


aliljaded 53F
8963 posts
2/5/2020 10:51 am

I absolutely adored this post. It hit home to me on so many levels. You're so right about the quiet ones. Your post reminded me of a Hunter S. Thompson quote that I love. As for the song I recognized it as soon as I saw the title of the post. (Awesome as well).

"The Edge" By Hunter S. Thompson
The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. The others — the living — are those who pushed their luck as far as they felt they could handle it, and then pulled back, or slowed down, or did whatever they had to when it came time to choose between Now and Later.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 11:16 am

    Quoting Kitkatshadow:
    Totally love Meatloaf!!! His music inspires
This song above all others was genius, but yes, he's just cool like that


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 11:17 am

    Quoting QBee4u:
    so true about those who brag and the quiet ones


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 11:19 am

    Quoting olderdaddy_63:
    One of my favorite Meatloaf songs. Jim Steinman was a lyrical genius
yas! and that's what makes it so classic


Yern2lic 67M
1346 posts
2/5/2020 1:14 pm

Definitely a true classic


Bumtingler 64M
63 posts
2/5/2020 2:27 pm

You can't beat classic Meatloaf.


JohnnyLightning 65M  
9699 posts
2/5/2020 2:55 pm

Meatloaf rocks! I have been to Hell and back. Fear is something that keeps us safe. This is an interesting post.

Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.


JohnnyLightning 65M  
9699 posts
2/5/2020 2:58 pm

I would post more except some of the topics are very dark. I know the posts would be censored..

Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.


jenny14 75T  
90429 posts
2/5/2020 3:12 pm

poetess

This is another great instructive post


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


drmgirl622 68F  
26159 posts
2/5/2020 3:30 pm

I read this by the dashboard light


olderdaddy_63 68M

2/5/2020 8:07 pm

    Quoting drmgirl622:
    I read this by the dashboard light
Great response, did anyone see paradise?


infinitepoetess replies on 2/5/2020 10:53 pm:
Agreed! I love her response lol

infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 10:46 pm

    Quoting Yern2lic:
    Definitely a true classic


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 10:48 pm

    Quoting MasterMent0R:
    I have been to the edge ,I've looked the devil in the face and said fck off ....
    looking into the abyss will let you know your alive
    In truth the devil was nothing ,it was just me stretching
    it simply let me know I was alive
    Awesome post /Tips hat ~
    Master Mentor
    PS .. Appreciate your Moments ,if you don't who will
Thank you


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 10:50 pm

    Quoting JohnnyLightning:
    Meatloaf rocks! I have been to Hell and back. Fear is something that keeps us safe. This is an interesting post.
Thank you! They censor mine all the time. I just go back and re-edit a few times and they leave it alone after a while....but then I don't know how deep your posts go down the rabbit hole


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 10:50 pm

    Quoting jenny14:
    poetess

    This is another great instructive post
Thank you my friend <3


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 10:51 pm

    Quoting drmgirl622:
    I read this by the dashboard light
Love this so much


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/5/2020 10:52 pm

    Quoting  :

Good to know! Makes notes


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
2/6/2020 2:06 pm

    Quoting  :

Good to note



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