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Effective Leadership is AWOL Effective leadership is the missing link for most D/s relationships. This is hard to accept if you are Dominant, because ultimately it falls on your shoulders, and that's a heavy fucking weight to carry. You see, you are human and human errors will most definitely occur.If you claim you are not superman/woman, it is an excuse. "If a submissive fails, it is the Dom who failed" I don't know who said it, I was just told this over and over. This is no different than running a business, with all its moving parts. You would not lose your temper with an employee and scream or snip at them when they ask a question, nor lecture them like they were 5, and yet expect them to work effectively,. Or else, you would suck as a business owner and no one would want to work for you...Why would a submissive want to comply if that was how it was? Just like an employee, she is looking for effective positive leadership. The submissive is required to worship you and your body. You are omnipotent in your control and the sub's submission. A submissive must be selfless , in order to submit. To blame the sub, is to analogize: You have a dog. That is loyal, is always happy to see you, and gives 100% obedience overall...Do you think of the as an annoyance? Do you tell the that it should not think of you as God and be independent, like there is a switch to turn off their need of you? You took another human being as your submissive, required them to want to be selfless and need you, but they can't be too needy? Does that not sound ridiculous to you? I mean wtf? Ive never understood Doms that say that they expect a sub to be independent and you are not God.. When I say she/he thinks you are, they go into a diatribe about this being a normal relationship other than the dynamic...? A submissive is selfless and gives themselves to your every desire. Being selfless is what is required of a human being in order to make them able to emotionally handle submission. Re read that paragraph over and over again and again. The only person a Dominant can relate being selfless to, is the person who raised you or a parent, They love you unconditionally. That is why it devastates a sub, if you leave them, or threaten to. You run the risks of cray cray stalkers, because of this very selflessness. Well, hello, here is your aha moment... You have to be a leader to finesse this human you decided to take as yours and help improve their submission, or whatever they need help doing. You have to be able to figure out their triggers, and make that aid effective, without pushing them to the edge of breaking. Remember: "Never break your toy?"That was one of the tenets of BDSM, if you are like me and came in with a mentor and immersed yourself in learning properly (which not many of you do, just sayin; So tired of that, but I digress) What you all need to do is work on effective management skills, for a guide on how you approach that human. When you lose your cool, you are no longer in control. Your anger is in the power struggle. Tonality is the fine line between abuse and dominance, I mean, I would imagine the ideal Dom would have been someone like the Karate 's Mr. Myagi, approaching struggles in a thoughtful manner, and calm, so situations de-escalate. I once wrote a post and said "If you don't have control of yourself, you have no business controlling another human being, who is a living, breathing, feeling, creature" And you cannot claim to not being more responsible for a submissive, than a vanilla relationship would be based on. A vanilla relationship does not usually have that unconditional love happening...it's why there is a "gift" of submission... Clearly, you are looking at this differently now that you have read this post, and all of us submissives can expect you to raise the bar on yourself.... Surely... Song for this post Emotional Rescue - The Rolling Stones |
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Is there nothing I can say, nothing I can do To change your mind? I'm so in love with you You're too deep in, you can't get out You're just a poor girl in a rich man's house Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Yeah, baby, I'm crying over you! Don't you know promises were never meant to keep? Just like the night, they dissolve off in sleep I'll be your saviour, steadfast and true I'll come to your emotional rescue I'll come to your emotional rescue Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh pfff Yeah, the other night, cryin' Cryin' baby. yeah I'm cryin' Yeah I'm like a child baby, I'm like a child baby, like a child, Yeah like a child, like a child, like a child, like a child Ooh! You think you're one of a special breed You think that you're his pet Pekinese I'll be your saviour, steadfast and true I'll come to your emotional rescue I'll come to your emotional rescue Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah Yeah, I was dreamin' last night baby Last night... I was dreamin' that you'd be mine But I was cryin' yeah... like a child Yeah I was cryin'... cryin' like a child Could be mine, mine, mine, mine, mine all mine! You could be mine, could be mine, could be mine all mine! I come to you, so silent in the night So stealthy, so animal quiet I'll be your saviour, steadfast and true I'll come to your emotional rescue I'll come to your emotional rescue Ooh ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Yeah, you should be mine, mine, ooh! Mmm Yes, you could be mine Tonight and every night I will be your knight in shining armor coming to your emotional rescue (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine! (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine! I will be your knight in shining armour Riding across the desert On a fine Arab charger Pfff (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah) (Ooh ah, ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah)
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8/7/2022 10:33 pm |
In the USA? You must be joking.
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Absolutely true. The Dominant is responsible for the submissive's training, expectations and results. They guide, correct, reward and discipline with the intent on helping the submissive and their relationship be all it they and it can be.
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Absolutely true. The Dominant is responsible for the submissive's training, expectations and results. They guide, correct, reward and discipline with the intent on helping the submissive and their relationship be all it they and it can be.
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. my dream is to just meet a nice girl with skills that doesnt mind scrubbing the hull of my boat topless. of course tho, i would get kicked out of my marina. nice poem.
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Teach them, train them, trust them is my motto in business and BDSM.
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Teach them, train them, trust them is my motto in business and BDSM.
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. it has always been my opinion that when the female part of the equation falls in love, when her chemistry kicks in, he doesnt need to do anything special to earn her love. when she is in love, he can crap on the dinner table and she will plant flowers in it and tell him what a wonderful thing he has done. but if she is not in love, if her chemistry is not kicked in, he cant do anything right. smart money understands this quirk about females. for the most part, this is true.
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. it has always been my opinion that when the female part of the equation falls in love, when her chemistry kicks in, he doesnt need to do anything special to earn her love. when she is in love, he can crap on the dinner table and she will plant flowers in it and tell him what a wonderful thing he has done. but if she is not in love, if her chemistry is not kicked in, he cant do anything right. smart money understands this quirk about females. for the most part, this is true. It's how she is handled in your leadership
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In the USA? You must be joking.
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>Thank you but that isn't the whole point... >It's how she is handled in your leadership i stand corrected. btw, the third pic in your profile... i cant tell what the heck that is..
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I absolutely love this piece, N. You certainly covered all the bases. Thank you for sharing such an important message. Great tune as well. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Splendide texte
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Nice content. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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I think dominance is like sitting at a potter's wheel and molding and shaping that clay into a work of art.
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Managing people, in general, is a fine-tuned art. Not many are capable of doing so. Shouting, hands waving, pointing with a finger, threatening, ignoring, .... in the business world it is called bullying... don't know the name for it in the Lifestyle... certainly not leadership.
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8/8/2022 10:28 am |
I like your management analogy as I believe very similarly. Thank you for sharing!
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Of course you're right. You must have graduated from West Point. Perfection is a bitch, isn't it?
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>Thank you but that isn't the whole point... >It's how she is handled in your leadership i stand corrected. btw, the third pic in your profile... i cant tell what the heck that is..
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I absolutely love this piece, N. You certainly covered all the bases. Thank you for sharing such an important message. Great tune as well.
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Splendide texte
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Nice content.
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Managing people, in general, is a fine-tuned art. Not many are capable of doing so. Shouting, hands waving, pointing with a finger, threatening, ignoring, .... in the business world it is called bullying... don't know the name for it in the Lifestyle... certainly not leadership. It's called abuse when you can't control your temper and tear a subordinate down to shreds by not giving positivity and being reactive
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I like your management analogy as I believe very similarly. Thank you for sharing!
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Of course you're right. You must have graduated from West Point. Perfection is a bitch, isn't it?
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