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Shiny Newbie Syndrome  Some Dominants are enticed to bring newbies into the lifestyle every time they meet one. In asking them why, I have found some interesting information to ponder. They find excitement out of this practice in much the same way that parents find joy in watching a explore in wonderment, and how the tiniest occurence makes them struck with that look of glee. I have been annoyed and perplexed at this practice. I mean, I was once the newbie and had that look of childish innocence too. So, why would I judge anyone doing the same? It is certainly not based in jealousy, as I have many I could choose from. It is based on realistic cynicism and a healthy dose of practicality. In my experience, bringing someone into the lifestyle is, at best, risky when investing any feelings into it. But, downright frustrating at times due to their limited experience and knowledge. By all accounts, it is way more work. That is fine if you have plenty of time and energy, but most of us don;t. We live busy lives. Beyond that, is whether they will stay the course once you've invested time and energy. Or whether they have the strength of will to see it through. Perhaps some should remember that initial attraction should never be the reason to invest in a sinking ship, for that fades with time anyway... Lastly, people that have shiny new syndrome are never satisfied with long term. Look up shiny new syndrome and relationships, and you shall find a lot of information on the psychology of what this does to relationships. Just my two cents... Song for this post Brand New Key - Melanie |
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I rode my bicycle past your window last night I roller skated to your door at daylight It almost seems like you're avoiding me I'm okay alone but you got something I need Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates You got a brand new key I think that we should get together And try them out, you see I been looking around awhile You got something for me Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates You got a brand new key I ride my bike, I roller skate, don't drive no car Don't go too fast but I go pretty far For somebody who don't drive, I been all around the world Some people say, I done all right for a girl I asked your mother if you were at home She said yes, but you weren't alone Oh, sometimes I think that you're avoiding me I'm okay alone but you've got something I need Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates You got a brand new key I think that we should get together And try them out, you see Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates You got a brand new key
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Good post and a good song.
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You can consider the time invested is necessary for others to evolve and discover themselves
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8/14/2022 9:10 am |
Syndrome is an interesting word. To me it implies patterns that have been around for a while or are slowly creeping into areas that are something we focus on or are concerned with.
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You can consider the time invested is necessary for others to evolve and discover themselves
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I know I had that syndrome and thankfully there have been Dommes that found the time to invest in me. I thank them for getting me to where I am today.
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It does take a lot of time and patience to guide a newbie along. But then again, that is what a Dominant should invest in any submissive. Time and patience. There is always the risk of losing a newbie for a multitude of reasons, but that's a risk with any relationship, no matter how long or well you vett. I've had a very experienced slave, and then there's my current slave with more to learn. Both have or had their challenges. I think I would enjoy a novice. Trying new things, teaching and guiding from scratch. Then again, I was a retail manager. I enjoyed training new hires, including management trainees. So it's sort of ingrained in me. Taking that raw material and then seeing the finished product, even if they go on to what they consider bigger and better things. I still had that pride in seeing what I accomplished and helping them to grow.
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agreed why l don’t mess w newbies & their flighty ways thou l understand & can see their wanting to corrupt others as a ego boost for themselves also any relationship requires time invested from both partys for it to work!
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When the new wears off, they look for a new shiny toy. Starts when they're two years old, never ends.
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i am a complete newbie to the world of bdsm, unless of course you were to ask my exwives about this, and they would just giggle and tell you that i am an old hand at this thing. my first wife, for example, if i would try to enter thru the back door... oh no, that wasnt happening, she let out the highest pitch piig squeal that you can imagine... she was so relieved when i would thru the front door. after we had been separated for years, my first wife told me that she would intentionally piss me off so that i would get upset and drag her by her hair into the bedroom and steal that pussy from her. i really never understood that she played me like that. oh well.
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I like to know and understand, this. I have known some dominants, who have this syndrome. I think it is also about them needing? or longing for the admiration, of the newbie....? I could never understand that kind of behaviour... now i do, a bit ... I think it is also about the rush, everytime... with the newbie... Like an addiction?
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8/14/2022 1:43 pm |
Pleasure comes from illusion . . But happiness can only come from reality . . Never confuse being loved an needed with being used . .
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A few of us practice a form of the lifestyle that delivers gratification as well as discipline and downplays sadism. It doesn't require newness, but neither does it reject it. The brand new key just opens a world of pleasure, something we all need and get too little of.
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A few of us practice a form of the lifestyle that delivers gratification as well as discipline and downplays sadism. It doesn't require newness, but neither does it reject it. The brand new key just opens a world of pleasure, something we all need and get too little of. 
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Very Interesting Thank you 
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Pleasure comes from illusion . . But happiness can only come from reality . . Never confuse being loved an needed with being used . .
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I like to know and understand, this. I have known some dominants, who have this syndrome. I think it is also about them needing? or longing for the admiration, of the newbie....? I could never understand that kind of behaviour... now i do, a bit ... I think it is also about the rush, everytime... with the newbie... Like an addiction?
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i am a complete newbie to the world of bdsm, unless of course you were to ask my exwives about this, and they would just giggle and tell you that i am an old hand at this thing. my first wife, for example, if i would try to enter thru the back door... oh no, that wasnt happening, she let out the highest pitch piig squeal that you can imagine... she was so relieved when i would thru the front door. after we had been separated for years, my first wife told me that she would intentionally piss me off so that i would get upset and drag her by her hair into the bedroom and steal that pussy from her. i really never understood that she played me like that. oh well.
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When the new wears off, they look for a new shiny toy. Starts when they're two years old, never ends.
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agreed why l don’t mess w newbies & their flighty ways thou l understand & can see their wanting to corrupt others as a ego boost for themselves also any relationship requires time invested from both partys for it to work!
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It does take a lot of time and patience to guide a newbie along. But then again, that is what a Dominant should invest in any submissive. Time and patience. There is always the risk of losing a newbie for a multitude of reasons, but that's a risk with any relationship, no matter how long or well you vett. I've had a very experienced slave, and then there's my current slave with more to learn. Both have or had their challenges. I think I would enjoy a novice. Trying new things, teaching and guiding from scratch. Then again, I was a retail manager. I enjoyed training new hires, including management trainees. So it's sort of ingrained in me. Taking that raw material and then seeing the finished product, even if they go on to what they consider bigger and better things. I still had that pride in seeing what I accomplished and helping them to grow.
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I know I had that syndrome and thankfully there have been Dommes that found the time to invest in me. I thank them for getting me to where I am today. 
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Syndrome is an interesting word. To me it implies patterns that have been around for a while or are slowly creeping into areas that are something we focus on or are concerned with.
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Good post and a good song. 
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Nothing wrong with being a newbie right?
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