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The Art of Being Perfect “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better." Theodore Roosevelt I have written posts, comments, and verbally conversed the point to people, for years.... Words are tools, which can be used as: helpful, encouraging, empowering, the calm in the storm, or weapons of mass destruction. Read that again And again Once a word is out there, it can't be erased. Doms say repeatedly, "You have two ears for listening and only one mouth, because, you should listen more than you speak" Sure, OK. I see that in most circumstances, but not always is he/she right. I mean, who is their check and balance, whenever they are wrong? And should he/she, in the heat of the moment, be absolved of going too far, and saying words that inflict great harm, just because they are Master/Mistress? No The number one priority of an owner, is to protect their submissive on a physical, and emotional level. Over critical domination is just domineering, dressed up to hide its insidious effect. You are supposed to build your submissive up, after they have humbled themselves in your honor, not leave them stranded. To do otherwise would be cruel. “I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery You know when you're being overtly critical, right? Wrong. Most critical people do not realize it. The following are typical justifications: 1.That's just the way I am, take it or leave it. 2. I'll be damned if anyone is going to psychoanalyze me 3. They (sub) shouldn't try to manipulate me with their emotions 4. She/he starts it, so I finish it. 5. They were disrespectful The ideal would be that the Dom would also use his/her ears more than their mouth. They would think to the consequence of their words and actions. They would remain positive influences, and not negative criticizer. Constant criticism will breed nothing more than resentment. You better learn how to compliment twice before a criticism befalls your lips. “When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.” Judith Martin Dom 101: Listen up, you fly by night kinksters, this isn't about sex. BDSM is so much deeper than your orgasm. If you don't understand every tool and word has psychological impact as well, then fuck right off. Go back to the beginning, do not pass GO Song for this post Fuckin' Perfect - Pink |
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Made a wrong turn, once or twice Dug my way out, blood and fire Bad decisions, that's alright Welcome to my silly life Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood Miss knowing it's all good, it didn't slow me down Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated Look, I'm still around Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel Like you're less than fuckin' perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing You're fuckin' perfect to me You're so mean (you're so mean) When you talk (when you talk) About yourself, you were wrong Change the voices (change the voices) In your head (in your head) Make them like you instead So complicated, look happy, you'll make it Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game It's enough, I've done all I can think of Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same, oh Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel Like you're less than fuckin' perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing You're fuckin' perfect to me The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer So cool in line, and we try, try, try But we try too hard and it's a waste of my time Done looking for the critics 'cause they're everywhere They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time Why do we do that, why do I do that? Why do I do that? Yeah, oh, oh pretty, pretty please Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel Like you're less than fuckin' perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing You're fuckin' perfect to me, yeah You're perfect, you're perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing You're fuckin' perfect to me
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1 post 7/25/2023 1:56 pm |
Perfect! Thank you.
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good post agreed words are very powerful a D/s bond is a very intense connection mentally physically seXually spiritually everybody needs to listen up...hear compute understand listen let it resonate
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Yep....well said.....
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I just love Pink!
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Nicely said....... The fun part for me as a Dominant is being "emotionally manipulated" by my submissive. It is amazing, at times, to realize the degree of emotional control the submissive has over the Dominant. I take the words inside me and mull them over and formulate a new kink or a new direction and find a way to keep the excitement and intensity real. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Your points are well-taken, IP. A must-read for Doms, especially the sex-driven "fly by night kinksters." Everyone claiming to be masterful & perfect, needs to prioritize LISTENING and to stop with their narcissistic & captious ranting, critiquing, and filibustering...even if it might seem, at times--however idealistically & counterintuitively--, that it could ONLY take some applied restraints and an administered ball-gag, by a dismayed, fed-up, & vindictive sub to do it properly. Since that is clearly an unrealistic prospect, the good quiet introspective listeners among us can only be left to hope that blog posts such as this one get read and taken to heart by ALL readers, the thoughtfully reflective & taciturn, AS WELL AS, the interminably loquacious, bullying, & fault-finding "know-it-alls."
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Perfect! Thank you.
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good post agreed words are very powerful a D/s bond is a very intense connection mentally physically seXually spiritually everybody needs to listen up...hear compute understand listen let it resonate
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I just love Pink!
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Yep....well said.....
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Nicely said....... The fun part for me as a Dominant is being "emotionally manipulated" by my submissive. It is amazing, at times, to realize the degree of emotional control the submissive has over the Dominant. I take the words inside me and mull them over and formulate a new kink or a new direction and find a way to keep the excitement and intensity real. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Your points are well-taken, IP. A must-read for Doms, especially the sex-driven "fly by night kinksters." Everyone claiming to be masterful & perfect, needs to prioritize LISTENING and to stop with their narcissistic & captious ranting, critiquing, and filibustering...even if it might seem, at times--however idealistically & counterintuitively--, that it could ONLY take some applied restraints and an administered ball-gag, by a dismayed, fed-up, & vindictive sub to do it properly. Since that is clearly an unrealistic prospect, the good quiet introspective listeners among us can only be left to hope that blog posts such as this one get read and taken to heart by ALL readers, the thoughtfully reflective & taciturn, AS WELL AS, the interminably loquacious, bullying, & fault-finding "know-it-alls."
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When I started out in engineering I was told there was no such thing as perfection. Only the acuracy with which you measure something. (For instace: you measure something with a rule you might say it's exactly an inch long. But measure it with a micrometer & you might find it's longer than an inch, by 5 thousands of an inch.) No human is perfect at anything. If you were perfect you couldn't improve. We shouldn't aim to be perfect. We should aim to be continually improving. (Although some maybe so good at something, that they may appear perfect to those of us with lesser skills!) In terms of the lifestyle, I would say that it isn't only the sub who should be seeking to improve, but also the Dom. The problem with that is they would have to be very good at self assessing themselves. People in general,who tend to over critical of others often seem blind to their own short comings. Doms may like to use the saying about having two ears & one mouth, but it was originally intended for all of us. There are times when we should all talk less & listen more. Importantly we should also think about what we've learnt through that listening and act on those lessons. As you indeed said. But many on here are not Doms in the true lifestyle sense. They are just using the term to try & get what they want, without due regard for the subs needs. That is to say they might be termed, "Selfish Bastards".
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Thanks for sharing this brilliant piece. I would 150% agree with your statements. Especially, this one: "Words are tools, which can be used as helpful, encouraging, empowering, the calm in the storm, or weapons of mass destruction". I also love the last quote. I hope you are well.xx "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Nice post. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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this is awesome
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My submissive will have attributes that I don't possess. How foolish it would be not to use someone's thought and input. Someone's perspective and ideas. Very refreshing.
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Imagine a piece of paper representing a lifestyle dynamic. Tear off one small corner, and that's the whips and chains. The rest of the paper is the dynamic.
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