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Although I understand your viewpoint very well, I think that a D/s relation is not something that just exists, it has to grow between two people. While it is growing, a safe word it's crucial to be able to communicate for the sub while she is on her path to total submission. Voluntary submission can only exist if there is mutual trust and understanding.
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It's a good idea to have a safe word in place whether you use it or not. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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3/28/2020 4:35 pm |
I get where you're going with this, and as a lover of the aesthetic of gagged women a safe word can be problematic. However I have to agree with Miss Ladywood - it's never something that's going to happen for me in the first few sessions with a new or inexperienced sub, in the same way that I would never expect to tie someone on a first session. For me, a safeword is there for a reason, at least until such time as we know each other well enough to discuss going without, but then I'm also partial to a good old fashioned contract for ltr / 24x7 relationships Stay safe x
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i hope one day, to have such a contact, such a deep understanding with this Dominant, that, indeed, i dont need ( or want?) a safe word. The use of my safeword, did not keep me safe, with that first abuser, so, indeed, it can create false safety feelings... anyway..... I understand what you are saying, totally!
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It isn't for me to judge if another uses a safe word or not. And i completely understand as a sub that at times you are not able to use one even if you wished to do so. Personally i belive that the only way to truly know a sub's reactions to what is being done to her/him is through the sessions you have and that it takes time to learn a subs body. And for me, to be in a place where i cannot utter my safe word is never going to happen on a first or even second session. Does this make the session less intense, yes but i am a great believer in patience. And i need to take my time with someone before i can truly trust them no matter how well i might click with someone and trust them before our first session. In fact i never allow someone to tie me in our first session. Does this mean i don't enjoy a session unless i'm in complete sub space ... hell no. There is more than one level and an amazing and yes, intense time can be had on every level not to mention the bond that can be created with such sessions. Learning about each others bodies, how best to please them and the continued building of that special bond that deepens over time is just one the best things on the planet and i wouldn't miss that journey for anything. Life So Short, The Craft So Long To Learn
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I can understand why you dont use a safe word but as you also say it takes time to know how a subs body reacts to things done to them and that can only happen when trust is built up over time . I always take My time when playing with a new sub no matter if their are new or experienced as in the end it falls to Me to judge when the sub cant take any more or are being stubborn as they wish to please Me . simply having a safe word is no guarantee of the subs safety if they dont trust their Dom/me or the Dom/me is new to them PSUK " Its better to burn out than fade away "
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