Blog : This is how to disappear

Blogs > Desperate_Doll > Desperate Thoughts

214 posts
4/26/2020 8:33 am

This is how to disappear

I'd always wondered about your life. How you spent your time. Where you lived. What your friends were like. Almost from the first moment we met I knew I wanted you more than you wanted me. When I don't talk you for a while I allow myself think that I'm clever and beautiful and interesting. As soon as you come back into my life though there's this uneasy sense that flows through me that fundamentally I am just not enough, not good enough, not smart enough, not interesting or attractive enough. I should keep away from you really. That would allow me to keep up the pretence. But of course I don't. I can't. You are fucking kryptonite: beautiful, fascinating, self-aware, unbelievably filthy and only interested in me because I'm convenient and desperate for your attention.

Knowing that after long weeks of isolation you wanted to come and visit me made me giddy. I debated with myself for hours, days even, over what to wear, how to do my hair, make up or not, what music to put on. I cleaned everything in my flat, although if you asked me I intended to lie and pretend it always looked that way. I was very proud of the space I had made. I wanted it to impress you. I wanted to impress you. It seemed like maybe this time, given how strange everything had been in the months before, maybe this time I'd be able to make you see something in me that you wanted for more than fucking.

When you arrived, there were around minutes when I thought it might have worked how I hoped. You came in, complimented my little dress and knee socks, slid your hand up my skirt and gave a satisfied hum feel that I was bare and already wet. But of course I was. I showed you around, putting your overnight bag on my bed. The bag was quite heavy, which made excited imagine what it contained.

We went through my living room, you nodded approvingly when I showed you the honeysuckle I'd been growing on my balcony, then pressing up against you leant over the edge and rubbed your clearly already extremely hard cock against my arse. Turning abruptly you left me run after you and come my knees in front of you as you sat on my sofa and unzipped. My lips parted involuntarily and I made a small keening noise think of how close I was finally tasting your cock again after so long.

Your phone made a beep and you put out a hand stop from placing the tip of my tongue on you. I whimpered, but it was clear that I'd lost your attention. You read the message and smiled to yourself. I stared up at you as you stood and began to walk to the door. 'Don't move.'

I heard her before I saw her. She leapt into your arms and squealed and you kissed her slow and long and meaningfully in a way you had never kissed me. The sharpness of the pain I felt then, really stands out beyond everything else that happened. Drawing her legs around your waist, you slid your beautiful cock, moments ago in tasting distance of my mouth, slickly into her apparently unimpeded cunt. Pressing her up against the wall in my hallway, you grunted your pleasure at the feel of her. I stayed rooted to the spot, feeling the jealousy flooding through me, but somehow unable to look away. Glancing over your shoulder she smirked at me and moaned loudly in your ear.

After what felt like a lifetime, you slowed and lifted her from your cock and onto the floor. Leading her over to my sofa, you sat her on your knee. 'This is my girl' She giggled. I hated her. 'As a guest, you'll do everything you can to make her happy, won't you?' I nodded miserably.

She whispered in your ear. 'Hmn, yes, she is like a little pet, isn't she? Well, I was going to say we should all have a drink now, but pets don't drink from glasses, do you they?' You looked down at me. 'So, we need one glass - I'll give you what I want you to have, little girl - and one bowl, along with my whiskey.' Of course I had your whiskey, even though it had been months. It didn't appear to have occurred to you that I might have drunk it or given it away. And of course I hadn't.

I reached to use the table to help me stand and you put a hand on my shoulder. 'No, no, pets don't walk, do they?' She giggled again. I flamed scarlet as I crawled to the kitchen. Placing the glass and bottle inside the bowl I managed awkwardly to nudge them in front of me back to where you both sat. It seemed forever until you noticed I'd returned.

Removing her from your lap, you retrieved your bag from my bedroom and produced a plug with a tail attached. Kneeling on all fours it was easy for you to slide the plug into my arse, albeit uncomfortable. You sat back on the sofa, pulled her back onto your lap and reached for the bottle. You poured a large measure into the glass and another into the bowl before setting it on the floor at your feet. 'Lap it all up' was all you said before turning to hold the glass to her mouth, seeming to forget about me entirely.

I dipped my tongue into the amber liquid. I don't like whiskey at all. The smell is overpowering and it's too strong for me. You sat slipping your fingers inside her cunt, feeding her from your glass, smiling indulgently as she talked about her journey, leaving me to try to lick and slurp from the bowl as best I could.

I had almost finished when I heard her say ', I have pee.' You put the glass down. 'Well, you know I want see you peeing for , don't you, baby? Being somewhere new doesn't change that.' She squirmed a little and finally nodded. 'Here' you said, reaching for my bowl, 'this will do. Lift up your little skirt and can go right here.' She squatted down, her cunt level with my face and after a moment a steady stream of piss flowed from her into the bowl. I began to be afraid that it would overflow, when she stopped. 'Clean her up now, pet' you directed me. I had never felt so miserable as I did licking her piss from her cunt in front of you. The bitter taste and her giggles ', it tickles!' combined plunge lower than I had ever been.

As she clambered back onto your lap, I looked at the bowl full of her piss and a little leftover whiskey and knew what would happen next. Looking back, I wish I had had the strength of mind to resist it, but I still dared to hope that you would come to want me with anything like the desire you had for her if I showed you how far I would go for you. 'Go on' you gestured, 'Drink'. And, tears streaming down my face, I did.

Alcohol heightens parts of our personalities that are already there. Dizzy now on the bowlful of whiskey, I had become even more of a pathetic mess desperate for your cock and attention. But for her, the small glimmer of sadism already present had turned into a sharp cruelty. She leant down and with one hand on the back of my head, shoved my face into the bowl, covering it in her piss and causing me to gasp and splutter as it covered my nose. You took her hand away and tutted. I loved you for that. 'That was naughty,' you said to her, 'It's not for you to decide how to treat my toys, now is it?' Her face crumpled and she shook her head. I felt a small twinge of satisfaction, quickly overshadowed by the droplets of piss running off my nose.

Standing up, you told her to turn around and bend over the arm of the sofa, and drew a long white cane out of your bag. She whimpered loudly, 'no, no, . I'm sorry. Please, , I'll be good, I promise!' The first strike rang out across the room with a loud crack, her shriek following immediately. Four, five, six strokes later and she was sobbing into the cushion. My satisfied feeling returned, competing with the nagging sense that any attention from you, even this, was still better than none. It clearly mattered to you that she know how to behave. I am always obedient. I wondered if this was something that made her more appealing to you, that you have greater opportunity for correction. I wanted to remind you that you could always beat me, for no reason at all, but you didn't even glance at me, once you had started. The world had narrowed to you and her.

'Mnh, seeing your arse all raw like this is so tempting,' you said. 'Kneel up on the sofa, spread your legs for me now.' She and I moved at the same time, but you put your hand out to stop me from climbing up. 'No, no, not you.' My heart sank as I realised that you were going to fuck her on my sofa while I watched, and not me. I loved this sofa because it's where you used to fuck me most often; to fuck her on it while excluding me felt particularly cruel.

Your fingers prised open my mouth and your cock slid straight down my throat. Joy and surprise merged and took the form of gagging and sputtering, covering your cock in my spit. I suppose that this was the point, because you withdrew and immediately slammed it into her ass, as hard and deep as you could. She screamed. You directed me to lay underneath her, her cunt right above my face, your cock sliding in and out of her arse above my mouth. For what felt like both an eternity and only a few moments you alternated between us, fucking first her arse, making her moan and sob, then my mouth, making me gag and gasp for air, then back to her arse. I have no idea how long this went on for, only that I lost any sense of being anything but an interchangeable hole for your coc Tasting her arse on your cock was upsetting, but not enough dim my joy at finally feeling you in my mouth, at finally feeling directly useful you, even if only as lube for her. With a loud grunt and final sharp thrust you came deep inside her.

'You want my cum, don't you, pet?' You said, almost gently. I nodded. 'Well, you can lick it out of my little girl then.' I couldn't bear the thought of giving her pleasure, of licking her sore and tender arsehole, but I understood that this was what you wanted, perhaps what you had intended all along. And I really did want to taste your cum again. So I turned over and buried my tongue in her arsehole. As I felt and tasted the first drops of your cum on the tip of my tongue I was overwhelmed with happiness and shame and longing. I looked up to see you watching us. All I ever wanted from you was your attention. If this was the only way I could get it, I knew I would always take it, no matter what it cost me.

Eventually you drew me away and gathered her up in your arms, cradling and stroking her. She moaned and murmured into your shoulder. Holding her tightly you stood. 'We're going to bed,' you said, 'Stay here. Sleep if you like.' And you took her to sleep curled in your arms in my bed. I stared at my sofa. I didn't want to sleep there after what had just happened. I wished there was somewhere else I could go, but there really wasn't. Besides which, you had told me to stay here.

Pulling a blanket off the back of the sofa, I squeezed myself into a ball on the floor and cried myself to sleep. Twice in the night, I woke hearing you fucking her in my bed. Your moans and hers combining as further painful reminder of your enjoyment of each other, and contrasting with how alone I was. Staring into the darkness I waited what seemed like forever for it to stop, torturing myself recounting all the ways you had shown how much you prefer her to me. A quiet giggle from her is the last sound I remember before waking in the morning.

When I came to consciousness I was confused to see you standing over me, then I heard you moan and understood you were stroking your cock over my sleeping body. You had pulled back the blanket and were drinking in my tits and my cunt, your eyes were like a balm on my body and bruised heart.

I could hear the shower running, so she must have been cleaning up. As the water stopped, you let out a grunt and your cum splashed over my face. Shaking the last droplets onto me, you turned without speaking and walked to the bathroom. 'Are you ready, baby girl?' you said. 'Yes, !' she replied chirpily, all sense of the previous night's distress long gone. 'Alright come on then. Let's go home.' You took her hand and, without any comment to me, led her out of my front door, leaving me laying on my floor with your cum on my face.

I would like to say that this was the end, that if you called me again I wouldn't answer, but we both know that's not true.

ANDCARLP 51M

58 posts
5/1/2020 2:00 am

spectacular story.........

canedcunts 56M

4/27/2020 4:55 am

Cruel yet erotic. That feeling of needing the slightest pleasure and how far you are willing to go to get it. Great story.

Wicked_Tongue 61M

690 posts
4/27/2020 12:50 am

If this is purely fictional/fantasy, it's wonderful, and I would really love to meet you.

If it's based on real life events, you have my sympathies... as one other poster points out, this will not end well for you!

Dreamcatcher__ 87M