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Blogs > AbbieTheCurious > My Blog

AbbieTheCurious 33F
38 posts
9/30/2020 7:08 pm
The Quite

Its that time again, the middle of the night as everyone sleeps.
I check once, then once more, and again just in case.
But I already know, no ones there because its that time again.
I'm alone again and the worlds gone deafly quite.
That feeling starts seeping in slowly but surely.
Uneasy, uncomfortable.
The heart sinks.
The stomach turns.
I hate this feeling.
I hate the quite.
I grab my phone, try to find youtube through buzzing thoughts.
The music starts to play, but its not enough.
Reaching out I grab the cord to those speakers, the ones I bought just for this.
I turn it up, all the way up but its still not working
The quite is still there, it is not enough.
I start to sing as loud as I can, my own voice ringing in my ears.
No matter the song happy it may be, I can hear my own fear.
My fears are confirmed as a smaller voice whispers in my mind.
You cant fight this with these external material things it says, your alone now and the quite is inside.

2laughwithsinner 62M

10/2/2020 6:23 am

 I do understand the feeling. The worst is when you feel this way and yet are not alone. The isolation for society hurts.


AbbieTheCurious replies on 10/2/2020 5:48 pm:
Agreed, I often have family and friends around but it doesn't fill the space lol especially with my 3rd shift hours there is always at least a few hours I'm just completely alone... tbh though this was an issue for me long before lockdown lol

2laughwithsinner 62M

11/9/2020 9:02 pm

 I do understand that as well I am talking about my life before lock down as well. Lost in Radio lost in thought but yet still can not escape from myself


AbbieTheCurious replies on 11/9/2020 9:45 pm:
I dont mind lock down so much lol

2laughwithsinner 62M

11/10/2020 8:59 pm

 I still work among the public so no real lockdown for me. As Alice cooper once said I may be lonely but I am never alone. That phrase has stuck with me since I first heard in in the 70's (Lol Showing my age again). As real to me now as it was then. And I have lived a life with friends and family.



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