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Journey to Finding a Match - a Rant For those who regularly read my posts - this is not a poem or piece of erotica. I want to talk about integrity, honesty, values, and more. So, if it is all about sex for you... you probably won't want to read further. I have been on Alt off and on for over 15 years. I can honestly say that I met a man who I considered the love of my life here. We were together for about 12 years. Perhaps it would have lasted forever, but the world lost a good man, so did I. In my current search, I have met, dated, spoke with, chatted with, and, yes, even had sex and playtime with members on here. I have met some nice guys and well, let's just say, a few guys that need some help in different areas. So, what's the deal? Why am I still looking (Because you know I'm perfect. lol)? I think the men on Alt, at least those who I have had contact with, do not fully understand D/s. I will be clear - I'm the submissive in these D/s situations. My opinion is that just because someone is wearing the big D on their chest doesn't mean you have to lose your manners. In fact, quite the opposite. As a Dom, you should lead by example. You should be able to demonstrate outwardly that you are competent, know how to treat people, have your own issues under control, and, yes, a Dom should have manners. Things I have come across that I don't feel put a Dom in a positive light. # Rudeness # Ghosting # Derogatory Comments # Drinking Out of Other People's Milk Jugs (No, not kidding) Regardless of how long I could make this list, it comes down to one thing. Dominants are throwing out high expectations on submissives, yet not placing these same expectations on themselves. This leaves me a little confused, I am still sure that in this lifestyle Ds are expected to lead by example. Why is it that the s expected to toe the line when the D can't manage themselves? (Eyeroll) So let me just get a few things off my chest:  1. If you initiate an ongoing conversation with a submissive and you simply ghost them - it speaks volumes more about you. It means that everything you said in those conversations was bullshit. A Dom who is chatting with someone and decides that that person isn't for them should have enough respect for himself and the other person to say so. 2. If you get invited to a submissive's home and you don't like it - leave. Don't be rude, don't act like you are 8, and don't drink out of milk cartons in the fridge. 3. If a sub goes out of their way to see you - you should return the favor. 4. Bathing should never have to be said - but, here it is.  5. If your relationship does not work out and both agree to be friends - great! Be supportive friends in your journeys. Don't use your friendship as a way to pressure someone to sleep with you. It's lame. 6. If a sub tells you she will NEVER go to California - then don't push it. If you are otherwise in a relationship and are looking to go outside of it for your D/s, then I have to question your D. I apply things like trust, decency, and respect to qualities that a D should possess. If you are in a poly/open relationship, then this isn't about you. If you are sneaking around - I have no respect. During a chat with a new submissive, do you throw tantrums? Insist they change who they are and you have yet to even meet them? Wow. If this is you, then you have a lot of self-reflection to take place before your next Ds relationship. Are you emotionally, physically, mentally unavailable? Then what the heck are you looking for? Real D/s requires all the above and TIME. If you have no time or are otherwise unavailable then it is not D/s but simply play-acting and fucking. If you can't put in what is required to develop a real connection then you are shallow as fuck. At this point, you may be thinking to yourself... wow! Is this chick sure she is a submissive? I'm sure. I'm also an intelligent, alpha woman. I've studied and read much about this lifestyle, and the last thing any submissive woman should be expected to be is a pushover. OK, there are many men and women on here who are only looking for a piece of ass. I'm not knocking you. Have a blast! Start an Orgy! I'm talking about those who are on here looking for a relationship. If you are one of those who use the word "relationship" to prey upon submissives to get laid then I hope your dick rots off. QUALITIES A DOMINANT SHOULD POSSESS *Kindness *Consideration *Honesty *Empathy *Compassion *Integrity *Self-Awareness *Self-Control *Respect for Others *Responsible *Caring *Intelligence *Generous *Sense of Humor IN GENERAL, A GOOD PERSON... Frankly, I don't think any of the above should have to be said. These expectations apply to anyone - in and out of the lifestyle. I realize that many submissives are not perfect, either. I am definitely not perfect. Currently, I have been going through a lot. Moving, some health stuff, a temporary spot of unemployment, and probably not putting my own best foot forward. However, I am honest about it and continually work on making my life better. I'm not an easy submissive. I also get that most Doms cannot handle being with an Alpha woman. What I can say, is that I don't like to "play" D/s. I don't like to fake it for the sake of sex. By all means, if that is what you are into - fine, it just isn't for me. If you are a D - then act like it. If you want to present yourself to another person as a Dom, then show respect. If you expect it, you must show it. And before I go... I'm still looking, but to be sure but I am going to focus on other areas of my life. I don't need a Dom to enjoy life - I want a Dom to be a partner in life. |
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3/14/2022 10:17 pm |
no one told me I'd be required to take a bath..intelligent? I put together a puzzle in 15 minutes that said 4 to 6 years on the box so i'm ahead of the curve. I have lots of self control except when it comes to temptation. I'm somewhat compassionate and caring too. When I saw an old woman struggling with a bag of dog food. I yelled over to her. Yo! she bitch! do you need some help with that? She yelled back Fuck You ya bastard! I think she thought I was her son or something. I hope you have a great night.
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