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Desire, Lust, Want, Need Whatever someone calls it..its there at times. For me I have this feeling,,,this desire, and at times this need. I wish to hear approval from someone special, I need someone to put me in my place, correct me and scold me when I might do something not so nice. I do question why I have these desires....Do these needs make me weak? I know I struggle with this on occasion. I know I enjoy serving someone, I know I find pleasure in doing so, but I also know that for me..I just have a hard time trusting someone enough to give over that much control. Unfortunately over the years I have entertained too many liars, fakes and just plain idiots. With these experiences I have put up walls and I have now unfortunately see everyone as such. I hate it, but I just can't seem to believe anyone. I have tried and I thought that I was letting my guard down, but reviewing things I see that I really don't. I still keep my heart and my mind,,,closed off. I also question if I will meet someone who builds on that desire. Who will want to spend the time to break down those walls. I am afraid that will never happen. I am sad and I just wonder sometime if being alone is just safer. I know of a few who have made choice to be alone. And I wonder if that will be my final choice one day. Again, just ramblings of this girl on her journey. hush |
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I know you are real. You deserve a good man. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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3/17/2022 5:57 am |
I totally agree with what you've written, for I have the same issues! way to many fakes and always falling into the trap has forced me to put up that wall and suspect everyone. But in doing so causes that desire to eat at your soul and that desire still thrives within!
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My, does that hits home! Thoughts like that, go trough my mind, sometimes too. Although, i still believe a natural dominant person, recognices this, in you. And will take the time to make you feel safe, and understood. And takes it from there, small steps at a time! But, on the other hand, All those fakes, and worst... Livlfe is good, living on my own, too. Although that urge will always be there, the urge to want to give service, care, surrender too... It is F*cking lonely! Keep.the. faith! 🤗
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3/21/2022 10:25 am |
Yes, being alone is safer, but finding a true partner is so much better. Just saying never give up as the next person could be the one. Still keep your guard up until your certain. I truly hope you find the one.
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3/21/2022 11:40 pm |
Let me come at this from a different viewpoint, if I may. How many times have I heard the lamentations of the lonely and when they start to get what they want, they immediately try to manipulate or play head-games in the name of "struggling" against the power exchange. The games of escalations do get ever so tedious. For me, the struggle has always been to find the perfect match for what I need that has the intellect to see my greater vision and is totally willing to submit to my plan. When it comes to money though, everyone fails time and time again and the types of girls this master finds typically are so poor that what they are actually doing is trying to find a sugar daddy and suck up to some lonely old man. I'm not bored however, as I have always had a plan going and will have that plan until the day I die. And that vision is bigger than most people could calculate, not saying I'm a genius or anything, but seriously, this world is full of stupid, willfully ignorant people who exist being dominated by their culture or tribe. I'm sure that is part of why you find this to be such a frustration. I'm going to refrain from leaving a huge, rambling post on your blog, but I may post something more on mine. Thanks for the read.
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8/13/2022 2:15 pm |
I wont debate the series of books about the planet Gor by John Norman, you may want to read "Kajira of Gor." It addresses your second paragraph about " these desires....Do these needs make me weak? I know I struggle with this on occasion. I know I enjoy serving someone." While it has been many years since I read that book I seem to recall how it addresses your issues. Does it make you weak? yes in many ways it does, to feel a need for someone else to guide you, direct you or punish you as needed. Yet is also suggests that in your sexuality you may be superior knowing the desire the need you inspire in those who fall victim to your sensuality. There is strength in that. As for your need to serve, to be pleasing, we all have some degree of that in us. Some stronger than others but to find a good match to your desire to please will serve everyone concerned the better. Looking at your profile you appear to have some interest in human psychology or socialogy, I wonder if one of these is not your field of study?
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