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hush0101 55F  
318 posts
8/14/2022 6:08 am
A road less traveled, please?


It's been awhile since I've wrote here. Life has thrown me a few curves and there has been major construction and some big pot holes to maneuver around. The new path created is not something planned for or even wanted, but it is what it is.

The FWB is gone, history and that chapter is over. I had a Dom for a good while, but seems He too has disappeared, taking with him a part of my
mind, and heart that has left an emptiness and a disillusionment that I had not expected. I am still in the process of trying to sort out all the details of what exactly IT WAS. I am not really even sure He was what He claimed to be. At first things seemed genuine. I thought that I was following my self imposed rules, but it seems that I had zero clue as to even what D/s is.
I've come to a place in which I am not sure bdsm is even for me. I've been here before, I've followed the "vanilla" path before, hence the FWB, but I am absolutely sure that the happiness I search for is not going to be found along the "vanilla" path.

So for now, I will walk forward. I will continue to chat, discuss, read, and dream about a time when the path leads me to a place where I can explore my submissive desires.

I am not ready to open my mind up to anyone right now, not sure if that will happen anytime soon, and I am sure as hell not ready to open my heart.

I am still in a sort of "mourning"
I miss who I thought He was.
I am sad at the loss.
I am confused.
I am sad.
I feel my breath get caught when I recall the sweet marks He left on my body, and the ones left on my mind and heart.
I'm trying to forgive myself.
I'm trying to find a lesson in it all.

I am trying to find the joy again.

hush

Darkstar6469 71M
129 posts
8/14/2022 6:30 am

It does take time to heal.


ARomanticSadist 54M
1298 posts
8/14/2022 6:55 am

I feel the same as you Hush, but mine was farther back in the past.

But when someone leaves such an indelible mark on your soul, you need to just hope to find someone that can leave an even greater mark on you.


bdsmDOMdaddy 61M
4023 posts
8/14/2022 6:55 am

Hm...well l understand your pain l thought I’d found my dream connection & then the bottom fell out quickly but you can’t isolate yourself in a self imposed protective bubble either...life suKs at times full of lesson learning you gotta not care what others think live your life being true to yourself develop thick skin let go of things outta your control shrug off stuff quickly...a new door always opens after one closes!
success comes after many failures...find yourself know what you want & be patient cuz it takes awhile to find right bdsm partner & fit but when you do it’s intense magic!


RopePhotographer 62M
62 posts
8/14/2022 6:56 am

Time heals all wounds, it will happen in it’s own time. When you least expect it, even if you are not looking, it will happen and you will find your happiness. Take care.


doctordelaware 58M
1 post
8/14/2022 7:06 am

I feel for you and all you shared. I would invite you to think D/s is what you want to create it to be. Early on I struggled with my perception of Dom, until I realized I did not have to be what others thought a Dom should be but what I sought to create me as a Dom to be. My former ID was GentleDom which I chose to let others know I might not fit what they sought


RobertBishop 66M  
2115 posts
8/14/2022 7:18 am

Hang in there and keep wearing those nice corsets. Things will get better.


1Mindwide 55M
11 posts
8/14/2022 8:16 am

Get a dog ... seriously .. nothing will love you like a dog!


Wotan35 34M

8/14/2022 8:16 am

Life is about joy and learning vs pain, loss and suffering. Remember those sweet times, the joy, the ecstasy and the belonging. Learn the lessons of the pain and hut. Take these forward in search of new better times. You must move on or cease to exist. We all have our pain to deal with. There are more joyous moments to be had. Never quit.


imcre8ive 64M

8/14/2022 8:21 am

I hit my thumb a few times with a hammer, that hurt but not as much as the invisible pain in the gut.


rondiri 64M
11035 posts
8/14/2022 10:05 am

They say time heals all wounds, but I've found that sometimes, a personal mindset to move forward cuts that time.


drmgirl622 68F  
25880 posts
8/14/2022 10:21 am

I've walked on the path you're on right now and it sure isn't easy. It's like the stages of grief and finally the move forward comes and life becomes much better.


Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7019 posts
8/14/2022 3:16 pm

I've always found the road less traveled. It led me to Walden. D/s doesn't have to leave marks. Escape can come in other forms that leave treasured imprints. Odalisque Chapter 2


DancingDom 74M
22475 posts
8/14/2022 7:26 pm

I know that feeling. Dropped out of all sites for a time. I no longer go to public events. dungeons or munches. I wonder if I have given up on finding a companion who has a similar mind set of exploration. At least I stay open to the possibility. best to you oh dear cookie lady.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


alwaysassertive 63M

8/14/2022 7:51 pm

It looks like he was just a shadow of what you wanted him t o be. Not all shiny rocks have value. You need someone strong thats grounded. Someone has a moral compass they are following.

Don't miss who you thought me was. That person was only a mask.

Lots of people think they are moving forward, but in reality they are just repeating that same old song and dance. They are unable to break their programming. Don't be like that.

You were meant to be a sub. This is who you are.

Find someone you can talk to and share your thoughts, someone that's not trying to get into your panties or fuck with your head.

I've been where you are and I can tell you with complete certainty. Things can get better from here if you want it.

You don't have to be strong, just align yourself with someone that is. Give it some consideration during those sleepless nights.....Rick


hush0101 replies on 8/16/2022 3:49 pm:
Thank you !!!
Nice to see your opinion on my posts, again.
hush

Formature121 35M
22 posts
8/15/2022 1:46 am

Very nicely said


PsechsySr 69M
2 posts
8/16/2022 6:19 am

If bad Grammar is one of your biggest turn-offs, might I suggest that you meant that you were in a state of mourning, not morning?


hush0101 replies on 8/16/2022 3:50 pm:
aww..yes..thanks
we all make mistakes...i guess

OldJeakel 72M
377 posts
8/17/2022 8:47 pm

"I miss who I thought He was"

That line stood out for me and you may want to reflect on it. Sometimes our needs and wants override that small voice in the back of our minds that warns us. I know that at least twice in my life I've gotten into relationships that I came to regret deeply and all because I ignored warning signs, little 'tells' that should have made me think and be wary.


MASTERMISTERY3 57M
52 posts
9/2/2022 1:36 am

UHMMMMM WERY NICE KORSETT WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!


mr_invisible0 69M
104 posts
9/6/2022 5:44 am

Hello


Formature121 35M
22 posts
9/9/2022 7:44 pm

A road less traveled makes for more turns


justcuriousfor1 54M
17 posts
9/12/2022 8:41 am

sorry to hear



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