4243 posts 2/6/2022 11:41 am
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The Question
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5764 posts 2/6/2022 11:42 am |
... rightly or wrongly...
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253 posts 2/6/2022 12:03 pm |
Money, resources and security for most. The spiritual and love aspects are for those select few unfortunately. 
ExNameForUse replies on 2/6/2022 12:26 pm:
I always thought it was a matter of heart more, you know.. if there is love and will, other things could be solved one way or the other... but I am just a hopeless romantic  |
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2/6/2022 12:13 pm
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I loved the day when we just had rotary phones. There are too many avenues of communication. The more there are, the more impersonal it gets. I get so annoyed with people who only text and refuse to talk. What is wrong with people. What's their problem? Face to face is the best way to communicate. What's that term? "Lost in translation" That is where we are. Lost.
ExNameForUse replies on 2/6/2022 12:21 pm:
Very true, no communication, no connection. And there is that moment that no one wants to call first. And where we and up like that? Lost in translation. Lost.
Great movie and this scene speaks for itself |
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805 posts 2/6/2022 12:52 pm |
Fear of rejection/ separation stops many relationships from happening whether 1st, 2nd or more.
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 10:37 am:
It was my thinking as well... among other reasons I could have thought of... |
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10449 posts 2/6/2022 1:44 pm |
Deep philosophical questions like that always make my head hurt.. 
Me too. I'm pretty simple minded, so I just keep things simple. The less thinking I have to do, the better.
Make Women Female Again
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 10:47 am:
It's good to be simple-minded at times... make life much simpler and without unnecessary headache  |
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9433 posts 2/6/2022 2:02 pm |
Reconciliation between lovers sometimes works out😛 ...and sometimes NOT🤪
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 10:50 am:
Brandy, darling... how could one not love you and your witty mind  |
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854 posts 2/6/2022 2:13 pm |
Just because somebody has a place in your memory (your past), it doesn't mean that they belong in your future. Things can fail for a multitude of reasons, the thing to do is not to abandon something until one (or better both) of you knows that an essential ingredient will always be missing. If you can, you can always remain important to each other.
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 10:57 am:
Ahhh Raven, I am sorry, I did not understand the part "the thing to do is not..." so if you happen to read this, could please tell me again in some other way so that I possibly understand?
Thank you, and I am sorry.. I would love to hear and understand your opinion. |
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22588 posts 2/6/2022 3:00 pm |
Most times, people who split up and get back together don't last. We try to get back the good stuff about a relationship. We long for he good things. But the not so good things which we have pushed to the back of our mind are rarely resolved.
"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 11:07 am:
You may well be right, DD... |
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26107 posts 2/6/2022 3:06 pm |
I think it all comes down to that fear of heartbreak one more time. I do know that the heartbreak makes the feelings for that person even deeper......it's really a Catch-22.
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 11:13 am:
It does, Girl, whoever has experienced that heartbreak once, know well it's not something to wish to experience another time.
And then again.. what if there is no other heartbreak... how to be sure?
Catch 22 exactly. |
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2/6/2022 3:33 pm
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If you think you have some unfinished business with someone don't think about it, contact them. Sitting around moping or wondering what went wrong is useless. Take some action in your life. I would.
What are they going to do say? go away? You don't have them now so you don't have anything to lose. The time for talking about it is over. Either do something or turn your back and move on. Waiting for destiny to make things happen in your favor is a poor choice. stand up and make your voice heard.
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 11:19 am:
When I was younger, AA, I was exactly as you described... I would simply do things, no matter the consequences, always thinking there is nothing to lose, and all that could happen would be to win what I was longing for.
As I was getting older I have been stepping back a little bit more each time I was supposed to do something.
I guess being afraid of another disappointment, betrayal, hurt, god knows what. I guess those could be the reasons for two people not to be together again even if they still care for each other... and there the life goes... |
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2/6/2022 4:05 pm
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Fear is Faith turned inside out.. There is a little more to it than that but that is the basics.. Having faith you will find someone else is important because you will.. Having fear of not finding someone is troubling on your mind and is NOT healthy. In life it's not the 90% of what happens to us. It is the 10% of how we react to it. On a lighter note for the women out there....... The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one......
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 11:25 am:
I understand what you are saying, goodguy.
Personally, I have no fear I won't find someone, as I am not looking for anyone so that fact itself makes my life so much easier.
Not sure though what would happen in case past knocks at my door... that's for another blog |
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12700 posts 2/6/2022 4:17 pm |
It's called a break-up for a reason...
Most times it will not work out unless there
has been significant change by both people... 
~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 11:27 am:
Yes, pac... if something breaks, no matter how precise you glue it, there is still at least a thin line where the break was... would that line be the reminder not to break it again and handle it with more care next time, or would it be the breaking point again... I think that is the question that keeps people apart even if they still care ... |
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8008 posts 2/6/2022 4:21 pm |
I concur with Goodguy863. You have to have faith or the belief that you will find someone more fitting and a relationship where the issues of the previous relationship that ended, will not be present in the new relationship.
It takes time, it takes effort, it takes trial and error, but one day you will be a rich woman.
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 11:35 am:
T, dear friend, I am nearly 52... I don't have that much time anymore, that's the sad truth, and I will only get older... so being good on my own and not expecting miracles, or wasting time and energy on trials with 99% possibility for errors... is something I am finding comfortable.
I have had my chances, with the first chance I have got my son, with the second chance I have got to know myself better than I have for the previous 50 years. Maybe that was enough for one life. |
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90348 posts 2/6/2022 9:36 pm |
Ex
I agree with those who say it is the fear of breaking up again and the heart-ache!
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw
Jenny
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 10:38 am:
So do I, dear Jenny. Thank you for sharing your opinion very much! |
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8926 posts 2/7/2022 12:40 am |
Circumstance. I've come to hate that word so much lately. After we've been through the proverbial wringer, the circumstance is all that's left keeping us apart in the end. And it's no small thing. It's everything.
I hope I didn't make this entry confusing, Ex. It was not my intention. I just kind of felt where you were coming from. (I Think?)
Warmest,
Ali
"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 12:10 pm:
The circumstance is a word I happen to dislike a lot, Ali.
It is the word that has ruled my life quite many times. Is it a weakness or bravery to accept that at some point the circumstance is and will keep you apart from someone, anyone? And that under given circumstances is better to go separate ways no matter how much it will hurt?
Is then again bravery, or weakness to cross the bridge once the circumstance has disappeared, changed, or have we changed so much in the meantime, that not much of us are being left to try again?
How can we ever be sure unless we give it a try... if not for anything better than for finding out the truth without the impact of any circumstance... |
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11006 posts 2/7/2022 10:21 am |
I did that once...
That was not a good idea, as was expected....
It was such an eye opener, it pained me, to see him hurt, not be able.....
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 11:42 am:
When I was thinking of that question, it came to my mind that two people maybe have to try to do something together again so that they can close the story in case anything has left "opened", not closed, or not closed clearly the first time.
Would that closure be for better or worse, it is so hard to know unless you give it the chance.
From that perspective, whatever happens, you are not losing, only finally knowing the answer.
Who can tell... |
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854 posts 2/7/2022 12:32 pm |
Just because somebody has a place in your memory (your past), it doesn't mean that they belong in your future. Things can fail for a multitude of reasons, the thing to do is not to abandon something until one (or better both) of you knows that an essential ingredient will always be missing. If you can, you can always remain important to each other.
In other words: don't give up on an important relationship until you come to realise that an essential ingredient just isn't there (what ever it may be). Until you reach that point keep trying, but when you see that it can't be, move on and hopefully, remain friends. If it is missing, that quality will never be there, so at that point you can lay the relationship aside with no hard feelings - you have simply realised that, at a fundamental level, you are incompatible: clearer?
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 12:55 pm:
Clearer, thank you, Raven. |
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8707 posts 2/7/2022 1:29 pm |
always sad when that happens but often it is for the best. depends a lot on what the nature of "can't forget each other" is/was.
ExNameForUse replies on 2/7/2022 7:02 pm:
It is true, Arty. Both that it is sad when it happens and that there was a reason why it happened.
People cant forget each other for many reasons, mostly remembering only the good things and times, and then as they realize that new attempts that have followed were not as nearly as fulfilling as they have hoped for.
That is most of the time the reason for not forgetting of what we have lost and havent appreciated when it was needed.
.... |
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8926 posts 2/23/2022 2:55 am |
Quoting aliljaded:
Circumstance. I've come to hate that word so much lately. After we've been through the proverbial wringer, the circumstance is all that's left keeping us apart in the end. And it's no small thing. It's everything.
I hope I didn't make this entry confusing, Ex. It was not my intention. I just kind of felt where you were coming from. (I Think?)
Warmest,
Ali
Ex, I came back to this post because it spoke to me again. I watched this movie once. In it, there was a line that went something like this: "When two people love each other - Really... Love each other - but they just can't get it together, when do you get to that point where enough is enough?" The answer was simple...Never. That was the movie version of love. I've been through hell and back believing that was true. IT'S NOT. At some point, we have to let go. Let go, or be dragged.
Take Care Of You,
~M
"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
ExNameForUse replies on 2/23/2022 6:35 am:
M, I am trying to do my best to take care of me, to protect myself and remain safe even if it would be in my solitude in the end, and yet hopefully to maybe, just maybe, be happy again, feel fulfilled and make my dream come true.
I dont know what will be the outcome this time, does anyone knows, but if I dont try it again, even if it is with him again, I will never know.
I am completely aware of the situation, unlike the last time, more confident, and in a way prepared that one day I will maybe have to let it go.
I hope to get my answers rather sooner than later.
Thank you, M.. you have no idea how much I appreciate your kind, thoughtful and caring come back to this post. It speaks volumes to me. |
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Wow, sad and deep-- I agree with all of them.
ExNameForUse replies on 3/3/2022 1:58 am:
Thank you for stopping by and reading. |
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