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ExNameForUse 54F
4225 posts
2/20/2023 1:41 am
Hard Truth

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ExNameForUse 54F
5767 posts
2/20/2023 1:43 am

A variant of the sociopath known as narcissistic disorder has been discussed a lot. I believe we have all had experience with at least one. Being someone who does not run away from problems, but wants to help, it is hard to apply the general recipe "run as far as possible". Sometimes empathy is stronger than their sadism.
In which case the only thing left is being ready for anything.


jenny14 75T  
90481 posts
2/20/2023 2:22 am

Ex

I have found I can't argue with these people - just humour them!

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


ExNameForUse replies on 2/20/2023 9:23 am:
Jenny, I understand your point of view... sometimes I can distance myself, yet when it comes to being emotionally involved, I try to reach to their human side, the root of their humanity if any, and invite it back, understand, and accept. It is not easy job. But there are those in our life we cant turn our back to.

I did it only once. Cut all ties, contact, anything at all. Because I have seen pure evil in a human body and there was nothing for me left. It was my mother.

aliljaded 53F
8974 posts
2/20/2023 2:48 am

I found this quote and I thought it went well with your post. (which I love) I absolutely agree with the point you're trying to convey. Thank you for sharing it. It is definitely worth the read. xx

“Never underestimate the empowered empath. Our kindness and compassion are too often mistaken for weakness or naivety, while we are in fact highly calibrated human lie detectors...and fearless warriors for truth and justice.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


ExNameForUse replies on 2/20/2023 9:26 am:
The quote you shared summed what my thoughts were in such a good way, M. Thank you for sharing it with me and anyone who will take the time to read.
Very much appropriate and accurate, speaking of myself. xx

("highly calibrated human lie detectors" - this has pretty much resonated).

likeithot19 62M
6112 posts
2/20/2023 4:38 am

It is sad when one realizes someone one loves has this trait.
It is not fixable...
No matter how much one wants it to be


ExNameForUse replies on 2/20/2023 9:30 am:
It is not, unfortunately. Can be soften, slightly, but not fixed. Yet sometimes you can use their own weapons and maintain relationship in which no one will be hurt, cause "being ready to anything", you are already prepared and therefore protected.

drmgirl622 68F  
26200 posts
2/20/2023 4:40 am

I've learned to not expect reciprocation from others as it, quite often, does end in disappointment. Sure, treat them with kindness and respect but protect thyself.


ExNameForUse replies on 2/20/2023 9:32 am:
I could easily confirm that my kind of mantra is just as you said, Dreamy - treat them with kindness and respect, but keep myself safe and sound at the same time. Emotions must be excluded.

bdsmDOMdaddy 61M
4236 posts
2/20/2023 6:26 am

there’s a fine line between sanity & insanity
we all have these demons w in us thankfully the majority of us know how to cope w these thoughts urges impulses & keep them at bay & in check...others need medical help & meds few others need to be put away
you just can’t help everybody sometimes you have to know when to pull back for your own sanity & safety!


ExNameForUse replies on 2/20/2023 9:39 am:
It is true, BDD. There is an end of everything. I will try to do everything before that end comes though as that is what keeps my mind and conscious in peace knowing I did my utmost and tried what ever I could.

rondiri 65M
11202 posts
2/20/2023 7:58 am


ExNameForUse replies on 2/20/2023 9:41 am:
Hello, Rondiri

rosaenaluin 65F
11090 posts
2/20/2023 3:30 pm

A-men,to that.
and also to what aliljaded said.


ExNameForUse replies on 2/20/2023 11:10 pm:
I thought you may agree, Rosa 😘

rosaenaluin 65F
11090 posts
2/23/2023 1:50 pm

And, also, i think you are very brave to behave like this, to do this.

I would not be able to......
Especially when i am emotionally involved.....

Be very much aware of your own bounderies- i knów....,

you are a grown -up woman!


ExNameForUse replies on 2/23/2023 11:23 pm:
Thank you, Rosa.
Whether I am brave, or just stupid, and overly forgiving and loving... I dont know... who can ever know... I wish I know better sometimes 😘😘

rosaenaluin 65F
11090 posts
2/24/2023 1:05 pm

ExName,

Someone said the other day, we all have some traits of a narcistic/ autistic, etc in our being......

When i am emotionally involved, with a narcistic person, i would not be able to feel safe... i would feel hunted down, all the time....

We all have our own paths to walk in life, no matter if we understand that path.... Or how it looks like, from the outside looking in, by other folks....


ExNameForUse replies on 2/25/2023 7:41 am:
Either I will sink, or swimm, as someone said... sometimes I feel all tered apart between what my heart wants and longs for, and what my brain and common sense are telling me.
There is good and bad in everyine of us...


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