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Sun, Coffee, Balcony Thoughts... This post is only viewable by Local Fetish Fans members. Join Local Fetish Fans now! |
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Not sure why I wrote this, just some random thoughts on this warm afternoon while sitting in the sun with coffee on my balcony... all inspired by what we write and share here even if sometimes words and intentions are easily misinterpreted and misconstrued if we keep in mind that we are not just our nicknames but real people behind our screens - they still have their impact and we do have an impact on each other whether we like it or not. Thank you all for everything.
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I think that everything should be open for discussion, especially in a D/s relationship. And, not just in the beginning. It should be an accepted “rule” throughout for the relationship to be successful.
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Agreed, nothing is mandatory to begin with in any relationship. I will say, once you have entered into one of some import, one has to allow for the simple fact things will evolve in terms of what is demanded and expected of each other. Some things will, shall we say tighten up and others will relax. The key to all it is imply to communicate. If one communicates openly and honestly (there is a risk in that) without fear of repercussion, then trust will build up. Communication and trust..........both are powerful elements of any relationship. So if one or both parties are not fully honest, the relationship is doomed from the start. It may survive some minor ups and downs, if the honesty is reestablished. But out and out lies, will surely cause the relationship to terminate at some point. Vanilla vs kink based relationships..............are no more black & white, than than all the shades for gray. Frankly, my feeling is the successful, truly fully bonded intimate relationships do not start out as purely kink (BDSM or strictly sex) based. One can have those of course; and they can be successful within those parameters. But to be an all around loving relationship there has to be more than just the kink elements. People do have compartmentalized relationships, such as "open" relationships or the allowances for others which fulfill various aspects of our needs. For instance, you can have a loving relationship with a girlfriend or wife, but have a need to hang out with the guy at a sporting event or going fishing/hunting. Or having a friend(s) who enjoy quilting, book reading, involvement in community events, church groups, political stuff, sports as noted above, being on a school board for your children, ad infinitum. Name your interest/cause! I know I asked before in my blog, if one can have a vanilla relationship after having been in a kink one. If you notice, many folks have dabbled or been entrenched in kink relationships (as we define them for ourselves) and often move on over time. It does not leave our mindset and may return under the right circumstance or with a new partner open to such things. Again, if you look around, you can note many folks drop out of this and similar sites or are not around at local dungeon or munch events. They may be involved in a very fulfilling relationship or found this was not so fulfilling and dropped out of visibility. We are all different in our needs as time passes. For myself, I could be in what other or I may define as a strictly vanilla relationship. It depends on the partner I would find I would enjoy being with and how they communicate and mesh with myself. We surely would be friends first. I just can't see myself being corralled by only being kinky. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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I am quite sure I won't have another D/s relationship in my life. Say it ain't so!  It ain't so ..... Ex doesn't know it yet, but there is the perfect Dom out there for her to ride off into the sunset with.  Make Women Female Again
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A beautifil writing, Ex, I recognise a lot in it, I know, of women, who have been in a good, stable loving D/s or M/s relation/dynamic. Then their partner/Master died and they fell hard and deep! Took them a lot of time to find themselfs back again, without that backup from their D or Master... Try to live without that structure was hard for most of those women.. Ever since their partner died, they dont want to get engaged in such sort of Dynamic again. It is indeed, for me, the structure, the rules, we both agreed to/ to build our dynamic on." The being accountable, for your actions.... from both sides. The totall open communication, always, about all and everything, that is going on in his/ my brain... No little white lies, not hide anything. for each other, being totally open, vulnerable, in every thing. is what attracks me to this "livestyle" I wont be able to tolerate an other vanilla relation, without rules and that structure. And, i knów, i cant handle only the bedroom "fun", it would make me feel very restless, as it always was in vanilla relations. Thank you so much for this wonderfull piece of mind works of YOU! 
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Hello ..... BBW Domme here....😊Well one things for certain.... Its best to filter here the discussions of trust, mental structure, ( present mindset at time of dicussion), rules of ones craving,desires,fantasies ,etc.... Only God knows if person is SAME TYPE in real life lol! May women loved me in beginning then turn when they see something new ! Lol i dont do guys so thats another story ! I know u straight!
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I know, with all my varied interests, I would not be in just a kink based relationship. I enjoy cooking, live theater, dance performance, music, travel, history, some political stuff, involvement in my community to a small degree, art, just hanging out with different kinds of people. That is also how I perceive you to be more or less. You are not the kind of person to be one dimensional. I suspect a just kink based situation would be rather boring in the long run. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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It is important to me that the relationship is very well rounded. I empathize with the not knowing what you want or feel. After the letdown in the kink relationship it's very natural to just be for awhile.
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Ex I don;t know what to say except that Life is full of surprises and, maybe one day, your trust will be met! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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I second Jenny's sentiments!
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Ex l get you l feel same way on many things you hit on here rules & structure are very good relationship perimeters need to find that one to combine vanilla w kinky & share both together harmoniously firm embrace w gentle caress enjoy your weekend gorgeous!
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The balcony was always a place I would go to and reflect with a cup of coffee in my hand. I miss looking at the mountains.
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