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the spanking my post will appear in the comments section. |
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The Spanking First a small warning this is not a sexy story of someone receiving a kinky spanking. If this is what you thought please stop reading and move on it wont be for you, thank you. This is however a story of someone with medium ptsd one who struggles with certain things and flashbacks that can leave her for periods of time unfunctional. The spanking is one of those times. A little back ground needs to be laid so everything can make sense. Sir and I talk a lot I mean continuously whether we are together or not he is always there for me willing to talk to me anytime I need him. He has also never lied about who he is what he does ,likes or dislikes. I have done the same for him. It was through several of these talks that I learned he 1. Loves my ass {as the butt plug buried in it at the moment shows,lol} 2. He does like to inflict pain at times not severe but the occasional spanking and the use of clamps on various parts of someones body. Sir has pretty much stayed away from those aspects of bdsm because of me and my past. I do love him that much more because of that. Almost all the things Sir has done with me have in truth been for me {accept the butt plug which I now love having it there}. Sir is teaching me to love again not just him but more importantly me and life. I am still learning to do those things after years of abuse they are not always easy to do. It is also through our talks Sir said something very profound to me. I had been talking to him about my abuse my ptsd and how much it still controlled me at times mainly because of my ex. I had nightmares about him. When I was done he asked a simple question Why? At first I was taken back upset really that he had to ask such a thing. I did not answer. He took me in his arms and said my darling (one of the very few times he would use that term) I mean he was no good an evil bastard in many ways. He does not deserve one second of your time or worry so why give it to him? Everytime you have a flashback it is of him he in fact controls you even now . is that what you want? I admit I was stunned I have never before looked at things that way. I had never looked at it like he was absolutely controlling me even if he was not here. It was like someone had switched on a lightbulb bringing reality into focus. Now well it opened my eyes id be a fool and lying to say everything became Shangri la from there it did not as you will see but it did reduce the angst greatly for me. What once controlled hours .days even of my time now its seconds or hours as I say to myself during the worst you will not make me feel this way ever again. It is not over I know that but it is much better and continuing to be so. Ok a bit off course probably but it does setup the spanking. As I said Sir does a lot just for me I wanted to do something special for him . One night I asked him to give me a spanking . He almost said no I could see it on his lips I said please do so I need it. It was a mistake it did not go well. He had me lie on the bed belly down legs spread I did so . I also buried my head in the pillow . this he would not allow and had me turn my head to the right. He went over the rules with me well the rule there was only one I was to say red or stop if things got to much I was determined not to say them I said to myself. He began , its amazing what one can hear when it effects them. I could actually hear the swish of his hand through the air I cringed my body tighten as his hand made contact with my ass. I tightened my eyes closed even more as the next one hit my other cheek each time my body stiffened even more. Two more blows came my eyes were now sealed shut my body like a board. I awaited the fifth it did not come . I waited a few more seconds finally calling out Sir? I felt his breath instantly by my neck then he spoke . He said my girl I call red enough is enough you have proved your courage to me there is no reason to put you in distress any longer. I was shocked can a dominant actually call red I asked. He took me in his arms and said yes they can under certain circumstances they would be a fool not too. My girl it is the Dominants major role to protect the one under him the most important one actually at least for me. Well I wasn’t hurting you physically i was mentally . you did well showed me courage of your conviction but I will not harm you. There will be other times for this when you are more mentally prepared . Now come let us enjoy our night in a gentler manner. That was that. We cuddle and spoke for a couple of hours before we both drifted off to sleep. I went over what happened for a number of days before Sir something like this would have absolutely crushed me. It did not it empowered me to get my act together and become even stronger damm if I was going to let the ex have the best of me even if it was just mentally. Three days went by until we were together for a weekend we spent Friday night together just having fun . Saturday morning however would be a bit different . I woke before Sir went out to the kitchen and got together the things to make breakfast but I did not make them right away. I did fix two cups of tea however when I heard Sir get up. He does not drink coffee but will have a cup of tea at times. As I heard him approach I got myself in position I braced myself against the table bent over so my ass was facing out I was in only a thong. I knew he saw me as I heard him let out a breath. Very lovely site he said. He asked what was for breakfast as he patted me on my ass. I said that Sir my ass it needs to be spanked . I heard the beginning of my name seldom does he use that I stopped him before he could get it out. I pleaded Sir I really need this so Please. The next thing I felt was a slap to my ass, I said another please sir a second one came down. Omg no freaking flashbacks going on, I cried out for another . it followed then another and another. Soon my ass was red hot and very red . I was ecstatic like an out of body experience was taken place. God even my cunt was wet. Finally he stopped and asked how was that? I practically jumped in his arms kissed him and set about making us breakfast my ass reminding me of just what occurred. Our Saturday was beautiful . Is everything in the way of the past gone of course not but that day that wonderful Saturday for a few minutes in time I was in heaven . I have learned those few minutes can be hours and a day or two now . Im still working on having them become days and weeks and months it will happen I know that now. And maybe in time I can look back and say its been years now that truly would be heaven.
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Hello Want --- think you're experiencing the beginnings of trust in your master / sir ---- it can and will only get better with time --- enjoy the journey 
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1/29/2021 1:20 pm |
nice and thanks so much for the poiints
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I've always said there are many aspects to the lifestyle, mental being the most important one for many. Mentally you were ready and needed what happened with your Sir. You knew you were prepared for it, you knew it was controlled, you knew you were safe. That makes such a huge difference. Something tells me, it is something that will grow in your relationship, enjoy what it becomes.
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Hi Wantonone . . . interesting to read your thoughts . . . thank you for posting x
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1/29/2021 5:23 pm |
Wow in-depth.
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Interesting read, thank you
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Thank you for being so honest and sharing very personal details about your past. You are in good hands I can see you Dom is not only nurturing you but also guiding you taking it one step at a time rather than diving into the deep end. This is not a race slowly and surely always works the best
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1/30/2021 11:20 am |
who doesnt love a good spanking?
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