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| Blogs > pac369 > Pulling your own strings... |
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Intimacy.... See below...  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~ |
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What kind of intimacy are you desiring right now? The sexual or emotional kind? Of course we all understand sexual or physical intimacy. Where we crave our partners touch. The excitement we feel when we are together. How we strive to be desirable and keep the passion and kink alive... But what happens as age, illness, injury, stress, or life in general effects our sex lives? Have you been with a Dom who could not perform or engage in penetrative sex without ejaculating, due to illness... I have... And even though we fought to keep our sex life, even in a D/s relationship, when sex or intimacy stops, so does the relationship. You have to have some form of intimacy... It doesn't matter if your Dom or partner is sick. No one can accept it if there is no intimacy. If the kisses and the hugs stop, If the affection stops, If just the lying together and touching each other's naked body stops. Your relationship will also stop. Emotional and physical intimacy, without traditional sex, can still keep a relationship alive. The new buzzword is "outercourse" instead of intercourse. Anything that brings pleasure to each other is considered outercourse. Taking a shower together, a sensual massage, spending quality time with one another, or just holding or touching each other intimately are some examples... And don't forget play... Where any of us can feel like our normal lives still exist... I, and hopefully you, want to stay sexually attractive, vital, and desired until the end of our lives, by our partners.... We should have a distinct advantage in our relationships based on open communication... But even with that intimacy can be difficult at best... It takes time to build these solid bonds with another person, whether they are a Dom or sub... And time is not on your side when the intimacy is gone... Any good relationship is worth saving, especially a good D/s relationship... ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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Connection emotionally and in terms of interests. The sexual and sensual (BDSM) stuff will come around naturally. I am far more interested in long term compatibility than short term temporal satisfaction. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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Being the sad lonely single man that I am, yes of course I miss the sex, but more than that I miss the intimacy... both varieties!
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4/28/2021 9:54 am |
sexual flows from intimacy....
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Could not agree with ya more........without the intimacy......a relationship is doomed.....even at my age.......I could not have any type of relationship without a partner who has a strong sex drive.......you are spot on!
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The intimacy is like a warm blanket that you can snuggle into and feel safe. That sense of safety soothes the mind and fulfills many needs. I look at sex as the icing on the cake that is so sweet that you can't help but say "mmmmm" out of it's pure deliciousness.
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pac I so understand this ! Sex is wonderful but far from the only thing in a true relationship..... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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Pac there are so many different aspects to that intimacy that we all crave and desire, whether it be emotional, physical or sexual. As we age those aspects change in importance or priority. The thing with this kinky life is that it need not actually involve or result in sex, but it still involves the mental and physical aspects. To me, fucking is like the icing on the cake, but I like cake without icing too, especially if it's chocolate. I also believe that the involvement with kink in life should continue right through until the body and mind are unable to participate any longer. Age should not be the 'use by date' of kink.
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I can very much relate to that post! My girlfriend of ten years had a very tense relationship to her own body, so the intimacy was gone pretty fast, and that basically killed the relationship for us. On the other hand, before her, I had another girlfriend who was clenching her vagina any time I wanted to enter her, so we never had sex - I could only push one finger into her without her having pain- and this was one of the most intimate and fulfilling relationships I had, and we had the most amazing sex in my life! We HAD to be creative, so that kept things interesting. So, my experience: Nothing can keep a relationship together when the intimacy is missing, but intimacy can be extremely fulfilling even without intercourse..... When you come to a fork in the road, take it. __Yogi Berra
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I have been a widower twice and both times by cancer. It has been nine years since my last wife died and I know what it is like to be without the intimacy of another person. However, my cat is a substitute or outercourse. After lunch and dinner, he cuddles up on my lap and purrs while I scratch behind his ears.
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I have had intimacy stop on a dime in a relationship due to emotional issues w/ my dominant. It was terrible. I can go without sex for a long time. But hugs and kissing, touching, and emotional intimacy have to be there or I'm bouncing. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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If your wants and needs are not being met it is time to move on. There are many reasons relationships die. I will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth
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