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pomonagirl909 47F
280 posts
4/2/2024 10:56 am
who has the power in a D/s relationship?


wherein pomonagirl answers a question without answering the question, as is her wont.

blog to follow in first comment.

pomonagirl909 47F
165 posts
4/2/2024 10:57 am

Who has the power in a D/s relationship? Well. That's a very nuanced topic to be sure.

i do not have the most experience with D/s relationships (i have mostly done Top/bottom type play) but...what little experience i have...i prefer to focus on the beauty of the symbiosis that can occur within this type of relationship.

The Dominant leads because they enjoy leading, and the submissive follows because they enjoy following.

Ideally, this symbiosis feeds into itself and the relationship can grow and strengthen into something unique and profound that nurtures the soul of all involved.

All else is semantics, gradients, and details left up to the individual people involved in the relationship.

Of course this is a very short writing on a very large topic and is meant to be a small thought about the nature of D/s relationships and not a treatise on Power Exchange in general


rosaenaluin 65F
11006 posts
4/2/2024 11:51 am

Beautifully put down! thank you.


Naturally_a_Dom 60M  
7 posts
4/2/2024 12:13 pm

I believe the relationship should be described as "D/S" -- there is nothing lowercase about her or what she brings to my life. She is the other half of me; I need her so I can be me. We play different positions for the same team.

If you are dominant in life, you care for the people who depend on you. You make them better. That's what leaders do... leaders earn their respect. Sexually dominant people earn trust... anything else is simply submission without dominance.

By far, that is rarely seen here... what is normal for this site is people masquerading as "dominant" people in an effort to have sex with the naive.


bimom4taboo 54F
2095 posts
4/2/2024 12:27 pm

i never looked at it as power over one or the other. so you said both get what they want the sub will let the dm. do things but let is the key word. so who's really incharge?? unless it is forced on the sub even if he/se is not a sub


rydermantel 69M
25365 posts
4/2/2024 1:00 pm

I do not know if power is the correct term, but I like what you wrote.


NoNonsenseFromU 74M  
170 posts
4/2/2024 1:09 pm

I always think of it as a ballroom dance. By convention and consent, one leads and the other follows, but the dance succeeds and brings beauty and joy because they are genuinely partners.


drmgirl622 68F  
26107 posts
4/2/2024 2:43 pm

I think it's akin to a teacher and a student......


blackfisteruk 57M
78 posts
4/3/2024 2:38 am

I like the word "synergy", where the sum of the two parts is greater than the product...

In other words the two coming together create something so amazing in excess of what they could as individuals


pomonagirl909 47F
165 posts
4/5/2024 8:53 am

Thank you for all your comments


Needrealtrash 55M
8 posts
4/6/2024 7:44 pm

I find the teacher student analogy appropriate.



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