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rondiri 64M
7219 posts
8/18/2022 8:36 pm

Last Read:
8/19/2022 9:32 pm

How do you learn about BDSM?

Article in comments


rondiri 64M
11040 posts
8/18/2022 8:36 pm

There was a time when BDSM, its rules and protocols, roles, behaviors and expectations were mostly standardized in the Community. You may have heard of this described as the “Old Guard”
You could learn, basically, the same things from almost any reputable participant in the community.
But times have changed. The advent of the internet and a variety of movies and novels has distorted the truth of what BDSM is all about. Also, there have been additional roles and degrees of participation added to the lifestyle.
What that means is that everyone now has a different slant, a different opinion, a different way of doing things in the same lifestyle. The Old Guard has their “One Way” of doing things, and the modern community has a variety of ways to live the lifestyle.
One mistake many people make when first entering the lifestyle, is relying on one person to show them the way or one book or one website. Even if they do have your best interest at heart (and they might not), it can be limiting to only have one perspective on something that is so multidimensional.
Every book or website, every YouTube video will only have the author’s own opinion, slant and style to living the lifestyle, and that can be a dangerous way to learn.
Everything taught by one person may not be conducive to the way you live your life, the way you would like to live the lifestyle. And of course, you can’t always believe what you read or view on the internet.
The answer is to get as much information from different sources as you can. Some things you will find uniform from all sources, but many things you will find differ in some regard.
Think of it as reading reviews for a product you want to buy. One person’s review might be ecstatic, while another’s is pure disappointment. But the more reviews you read, the better understanding of the product you have.
Understanding BDSM is a job in itself. There’s homework to do. Research to do to better understand what you are getting into.
The more information you have from different sources will help you pick and choose what is right for your dynamic, while learning the basics that we all follow.
For the novice submissive, the more different sources you view, the easier it will be to spot a liar or wannabe posing as a Dominant.
And lastly, if you hear, “Take my word for it” as an answer, research the question further. Someone that wants you to just believe them without question, without explaining the answer to your satisfaction, isn’t someone you want to be learning from.


JohnnyLightning 65M  
9548 posts
8/18/2022 9:58 pm

Nice post.

Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.


rondiri replies on 8/19/2022 9:52 am:
thanks.

Gowron 69M
3089 posts
8/19/2022 4:28 am

The Old Guard rules and protocols took decades, possibly centuries in the making and maturing.
They should be taken into account before "issuing" new rules and protocols.


rondiri replies on 8/19/2022 9:54 am:
it's not issuing new rules, it's picking and choosing what works for you, adapting rules, not being rigid in thinking.

likesmatures 55M
4794 posts
8/19/2022 4:31 am

Being honest..first learned about bdsm through pics of Dominatrixes in the back of porn mags. They were ads for phone sex.


rondiri replies on 8/19/2022 9:55 am:
I remember those. Always Femdoms, never male doms. It's still pretty much that way with findoms. I never see male Doms looking to be supported by a slave or slaves.

drmgirl622 68F  
25884 posts
8/19/2022 7:17 am

I've learned most from reading posts on blogs here on Alt but it's always different with each Domme.


rondiri replies on 8/19/2022 9:56 am:
everyone is different now, no carbon copies with unwritten rules.

Dave54321 61M
2679 posts
8/19/2022 3:31 pm

"I remember those. Always Femdoms, never male doms. It's still pretty much that way with findoms. I never see male Doms looking to be supported by a slave or slaves"

Times must be getting hard!
On the UK part of this site I've noticed a rash of new findoms recently.
And two of them where males!


rondiri replies on 8/19/2022 4:39 pm:
Leeches

brandygirasol 54T
9365 posts
8/19/2022 6:37 pm

TI-, THE I d, 😳😥🤕❤️


rondiri replies on 8/19/2022 8:43 pm:


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