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Sometimes scenes go wrong. Article in comments  |
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It’s not a perfect world. The ropes get tied too tight. The slave is more sensitive to pain than usual. The Dom gets over excited and cums prematurely. The slave can’t cum for some reason. The cane snaps. A leather strap rips. A vibrator dies. Batteries run down. So many things can arise that make the scene collapse in on itself and become frustrating. It’s natural to want to place blame. “You tied the rope too tight, Master.” “Why are you so sensitive tonight, slave?” “Why did you cum so fast, Master?” “Why didn’t you cum after all I did, slave?” “You were hitting too hard with the cane, Master.” “You pulled the strap too far, Master.” “Why didn’t you check the batteries, slave?” The blame game should NEVER come into play. Shit happens. Every scene can’t be exactly what you want it to be. Chalk it up to experience, discuss it and learn from it. But DON’T BLAME one or the other and be upset about it or hold it against your partner. Yes, if the batteries should have been changed by the slave, or the upkeep of the leather is the slave’s responsibility, there should be some form of discipline, but an unfulfilling scene should still not be laid at the slave’s feet. They will feel guilty enough on their own about it. The discipline should be meted out just like any other discipline, without anger or blame.
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You both fall off the bed into a pile on the floor.....laughing to hard to get up. Finally you both pull yourselves back up on the bed and start trying again where you abruptly left off.   As rondiri sez...... "The blame game should NEVER come into play. Shit happens." Yes it does!!!
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the interesting thing about discipline is that it can be absolution. This went bad, I accepted the punishment - all good. In some ways, punishment assuages guilt and makes it easier to move on.
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I had a session, where both of us were not feeling well. He did not finish the way he usually does. He did make sure I finished in climax, but it turned out He had an ear infection. He told me I did well and better than He expected , despite is feeling lousy.
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I was having a session with a Domme, and she had me kneeling on the bed, as she was practicing her Shibari technique. Anyways, she released a rope behind me which was helping me stay upright, the bed wasn't firm and and vibration altered the mattresses dimensions, a slight change in weight distribution could cause things to topple, and in this case it did, ME.... I fell forward, Miss was behind me and saw me uncontrollably fall forwards, my hands were bound so I couldn't brace the fall, she reached out to catch me but momentum was higher than her reaction and SMACK, I face planted at speed, into a solid wooden bedframe. I landed directly on my nose, and a bloody mess ensued. Miss held her hands up, she claimed responsibility, for taking her eye off the ball, for not forseeing the possibility of what might follow the 'holding rope' being removed. Shit happens, we laughed about it for years to come.
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These are probably the moments when the bon between D and the sub is really tested. Tolerance and understanding, and very rarely, communication is ever needed the most than these moments.
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Nobody is perfect but practice helps immensely... 👻
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Some days things are just destined to go wrong and both parties just need to be understanding.
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 Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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Gee, it seems not the gremlins are stealing my replies to comments.  and not letting me reply to some comments
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A very good post; personally there is never a need for a comment, look or gesture. Things happen, if I made the error, you’re right I am harder on myself than any punishment He could give. Lessons are learned and the goal is to move forward. Quoting Clint Eastwood in the movie Heartbreak ridge, sometimes you have to “ Improvise, adapt and overcome.” 
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A very good post; personally there is never a need for a comment, look or gesture. Things happen, if I made the error, you’re right I am harder on myself than any punishment He could give. Lessons are learned and the goal is to move forward. Quoting Clint Eastwood in the movie Heartbreak ridge, sometimes you have to “ Improvise, adapt and overcome.” 
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