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Adapting in BDSM Article in comments |
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To have a long term relationship in BDSM, or any other type of relationship, you have to adapt over time. Sometimes you have to adapt right at the outset of a relationship, if your partner means enough to you. It is incredibly difficult, with the degrees, kinks and nuances in dynamics to fit that “perfect” fit for a partner. Then even if you both agree, make concessions you both can live with (adapt), over time, you will both (or all of you in a poly relationship), evolve. People grow, they change. Likes become dislikes, dislikes become likes. Illness, injury and overall health and age, take their toll. Anyone that thinks they can have to exact same dynamic at the beginning of a relationship to death do you part, is kidding themselves. The only way to do that is to keep changing partners each time your partner evolves and stops matching what you want. And believe it or not, some people do that. Just go from one relationship to another because they refuse to adapt as a partner changes, evolves, and grows. Personally, I’d rather stay with one partner for life, rather than continually breaking up and searching again. But to do that, you need to adapt. Your partner can’t kneel because of age or injury? Find another way acceptable to both partners to replace kneeling. High blood pressure prevents inverted suspension? Do without. Hearing loss prevents the use of safe words? Use signals or held objects to be dropped as safe signs. Start a family? BIG adapting is required There are SO many things that change is life. If you care about your partner (or love them), you don’t want to lose them just because you can’t adapt to the realities of life. If two partners can go through a long life together without having to adapt for health or age reasons, I tip my hat to you. But the majority of people aren’t that fortunate. So if you see your partner struggling to do something they have always done in the dynamic, talk about it. Adapting might be the solution to make things go smother for both of you. The object of a BDSM relationship is for BOTH partners to be happy and satisfied. Not adapting to trying circumstances can make a dynamic unsatisfying and unhappy. If it turns sour for one, it will sooner or later turn sour for both. © 12/23/22 Ronald Dirienzo
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More good advice....as usual. "To have a long term relationship in BDSM, or any other type of relationship, you have to adapt over time." How true how true. Having once been in one of those relationships called marriage for over 40 + years I read the above article and remember well the highs and lows and all else one experiences as written here line per line. Thank you for reinforcing what I have tried to tell others.
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This topic definitely apply to any type of relationship but to a BDSM relationship evolution may seem more noticeable and significant. Thank you Rob. Hope Courtney is improving
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Life can be brutal and kick you unexpectedly with many issues you never dreamt of... it is only then that you see, both in yourself and your partner, where you stand and how open and willing to adapt and accept new circumstances you are. Without that, as life is ever-changing, and so do we, there are no long-term relationships.
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A true relationship is all about compromise.
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Well I've always adapted quite well once I understand what a DOM requires of me and I agree to it SHOWTIME🤩
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