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| Blogs > rondiri > My thought's, fun and fiction |
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The Dangers of making assumptions Article in comments I've been leaving off the picture to try and starve the gremlins of their appetite for stealing them. 
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Most of us have heard of the old sayings about assume, and assumption. I the vanilla world it can make one look very foolish when you assume you know something instead of verifying it. In the BDSM lifestyle, assumption can cause many more dangers and much more harm because of the inherent dangers of many of the things our lifestyles deal with. Dominants cannot assume about a partners pain tolerance Or how long a partner can remain bound before they start losing blood flow and sensation. Or how large a toy can be inserted into a partner. Or partner’s ability to withstand a caning, or other impact play. Or that a new partner will react the same as a former partner in ANY and ALL circumstances To name a few. A submissive cannot assume what a Dominant wants them to do. Or how intense a Dominant will apply pain. Or how long the Dominant will keep the bound. Or how adept a Dominant is with impact instruments. Or that a new Dominant will do things the same as a previous Dominant. To name a few. To make these kinds of assumptions, leads to harm and injury in many cases. Even if these issues are discussed in-depth, there is nothing like DOING to actually find out. Because even if someone says “I have a high pain tolerance.” It is still subjective. There is no way to gauge it against whatever “high pain tolerance” actually IS, since it can differ dramatically from person to person. That is why we start slow and build, so we can remove the assumption and get to the actual reality of what a person’s capabilities are without causing harm unnecessarily. To harm someone on purpose is a crime. To harm someone because of indifference, carelessness, ego or assumption, maybe be classified more as accidental, but doesn’t absolve the person doing the harming in the least. And it certainly doesn’t mitigate the harm done in the least. The safety of our partner and of ourselves increase when we learn to not assume, have patience and learn the realities. © 1/5/23 Ronald Dirienzo
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Another good read from rondiri....keep it up....look forward to them. 
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Theses are thought that run through my mind when I read from a would be sub/slave, already trained...
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Sometimes on our daily lives, assumption are necessary and maybe even unavoidable. That said, one definitely want to make assurances and act on confirmed facts than assumption to make a decision. And one definitely want to avoid at all cost to make a decision based on assumptions when there is danger involve, specially when life is at risk. Again, while we should act on common sense, common sense may not be all that common. Many actvities in BDSM do not allow space for assumptions. Your point is clear. We should always err on the side of safety and caution . Thank you Ron for sharing.
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