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Pick and Choose to build YOUR lifestyle dynamic Article in comments  |
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One of my early articles was about how to learn about BDSM. I suggested reading as much as possible to get as many opinions and slants on the subject as possible. Most of our lives, someone is teaching us something. But we don’t always have to agree with what we are taught. We can look for better ways, build a better mouse trap, so to speak. Anyone I have ever learned from, I have taken what I felt was the best of the teachings and left behind what I felt was not the best. That isn't to say the teachings I didn’t use were wrong, they were just wrong for me. In BDSM, maybe at one time there was a standard, with little deviation from that standard. But over the decades the lifestyle has evolved. Different teachers/mentors have different approaches to the lifestyle. Each of us has to learn as much as possible to be able to design our own dynamic we are comfortable with. When a former mentor from decades ago, found that my then slave was not required to lower her eyes, he was quite certain I was dishonoring his methods. He wouldn’t listen to my thoughts that I wanted to be able to look into my slave's eyes, the windows to her soul, at all times. I wanted to be able to read her emotions in her eyes. To him, this was sacrilege, to me, it was the right way for me to be Dominant. I won’t go into his reaction when he found my slave didn't have to ask permission to speak. My point is, that we all have different personalities and ways of thinking, and there is no ONE WAY to live our lifestyle. No one set of protocols and rules. Each of us has to decide what is right for us and then find a partner with similar thoughts on a dynamic. The only things that SHOULD be a standard are: We should follow the 4 pillars of BDSM The basic conduct a respectable Dominant and submissive should present to each other and others in the Community That we should be Safe, Sane and Consensual That the Safety, Health and Wellbeing of the submissive is of paramount importance to the Dominant © 1/16/23 Ronald Dirienzo
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That's a good advice
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