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What Zone do you fall in? ExNameForUse posted this picture yesterday and commented on it pertaining to herself. The more I looked at it and thought about it, the more I had to write about it. I want to thank ExNameForUse for giving me something to write about today.  Article in comments  |
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An acquaintance posted the accompanying picture on Alt today and it got me thinking. So many of us get in our comfort zone and are happy to stay there all our lives. For some, that’s getting married, buy a house have a couple of kids, own two cars. For others it’s get a well-paying job, make a lot of money and retire to a cabin in the woods. Even in the lifestyle, we have folks that just stay in their comfort zones. They do the same things day in and day out never trying to expand their horizons, perfectly satisfied to stay in the Comfort Zone they have created for themselves. Often what keeps them in their Comfort Zone, is their Fear Zone. The fear of the unknown. Will I like trying that, will my partner like trying that? What if I fail? What if I don’t like it, but my partner does? I heard it’s very painful, I heard it takes a lot of work. Do I have enough skill for that? And so many more questions and excuses to not attempt anything more than they do. They never attempt to move to the Learning Zone. Expand their knowledge and horizons. Risk losing what they have for attempting to have more… more enjoyment, more variety, more pleasure, more excitement. For many, this is a tough step to take. The old risk/reward conundrum. Attempting new things might lead to the end of what they have. Their dynamic, their partner, the way they are… COMFORTABLE. The learning Zone really isn’t so scary. What can it hurt to learn a few new skills, even if you never attempt them in a scene? If you get comfortable enough with them, you may surprise yourself and actually USE the new skills and get comfortable using them, enjoy them. If you find you DON’T enjoy them in a certain amount of time, moth ball them and return to the Comfort Zone, until you feel ready to attempt again, or attempt something else. If you find the new skill leads to issues, accept the challenge to deal with these issues, solve the problems it creates. If you can do that, you’ll find yourself expanding your Comfort Zone. You will have a larger variety of things to do, more challenges to conquer, more excitement and enjoyment. The more you expand your Comfort Zone, the more experience you attain, the more diverse you become. The more ways you have at your disposal to meet your partner’s needs, wants and desires. You GROW! And enter the Growth Zone, or at least stick your toes into it. You can go back and forth from the Comfort Zone to the Growth Zone whenever you want, by essentially eliminating the Fear Zone. There’s no need to do all this at once though. Take your time, go at a pace that is comfortable to you. Find reasons attempt new things rather than find excuses not to. This isn’t to say you will or should try anything and everything. You will more than likely still have things you want no part of. Kinks that you set as limits not from fear, but from your own sense of Safe, Sane and Consensual. Most folks who live in the Comfort Zone have dreams, fantasies, they feel they will never attempt, never live. Some will always stay fantasies out of safety concerns, but others can be achieved. But you have to be willing to step out of that Comfort Zone, quell your fears and learn something new to get to where you dream of going. You can’t be dragged there. You have to WANT to get there. In our lifestyle, so many things are possible, if you are patient, and really want to get there. What Zone do YOU fall in? What Zone do you WANT to be in? © 2/12/23 Ronald Dirienzo
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Well I'm in the Swinger Zone where people actually hook up and that's why on my profile I say send your number if interested. Weeds out non swingers and cuts through the BS nobody hooks up without a phone number.to get aquainted- except guys who think they can somehow magically hook up with someone "n strings" BS type guys who never get laid... Ha🤪
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I think that a more accurate portrayal might reflect that as we age the zones should get smaller because our world begins to become smaller and risk more dangerous as we have less time to recover. But I do agree that we must leave the comfort zone to learn.
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2/13/2023 11:59 am |
"Help, I'm steppin' into the Twilight Zone Place is a madhouse, feels like being cloned My beacon's been moved under moon and star Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far? (Whoa-oh-oh) Help, I'm steppin' into the Twilight Zone Place is a madhouse, feels like being cloned My beacon's been moved under moon and star Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?..." Golden Earring 1243531
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result -Albert Einstein
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