Blog : What time is wrong for scene play?

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2/17/2023 7:43 pm

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2/18/2023 9:14 pm

What time is wrong for scene play?

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11202 posts
2/17/2023 7:43 pm

Many have difficulty finding time for scene play in their dynamic.
Especially those with blossoming families, parents or other relatives living with them.
It can be very frustrating to try and play only when everyone is asleep and then trying not to wake anyone. Of course that’s not any assurance little ones won’t awaken looking for a hug or a drink of water or after having a bad dream.
These folks drool when they can get the kids to sleep over a friend’s house or grandma’s. Or at least when everyone is out of the house and you have the place all to yourself.
But even if you have your home to yourself and can pick and choose when to play. There are wrong times to play.
While it certainly can be done. Rushing through a scene because you expect company, or someone to return home, or you have to get up early in the morning, isn’t a great idea.
First you have a better chance of feeling unsatisfied or even interrupted before you finish. That’s frustrating as hell.
Second, when rushing, you could become careless. Accept more than you can normally handle, or mete out more than can be handled, causing frustration and maybe anger and resentment.
Sure, it can work, but I prefer to make sure I have plenty of time, turn off the phone and enjoy ourselves.
Playing on a first meeting is a terrible time to play.
No matter how long you have chatted, this is the FIRST time meeting. The first time you’ve seen the person, had a chance to judge the person, and the best time to see if the person will try to rush you into anything.
If the person wants to rush you into scene play, they will rush everything else in all likelihood. If they are really interested in you, they will be patient and wait. Letting pure desire to play over rule your sense of safety and patience is never a good idea.
When you are overtired, more ready for sleep than play is a bad time.
The sleepiness can cloud your thinking and cause you to rush. A perfect storm for making mistakes you normally wouldn’t.
If you really want to do something at these times, keep the more risky kinks out of it for safeties sake.
Playing after you have had a night out on the town, drinking and dancing, isn’t a great time to scene play either.
First, you are going to be fatigued which can make you less safety aware and prone to mistakes and accidents
Second, if you were drinking, you are NOT in complete control of your faculties. It is easy to go overboard, push far past limits, forget limits altogether, make errors in judgement even pass out if you drank enough. Any of these and more issues can be dangerous to your partner and yourself.
To me, the worst time for scene play, is when you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Just like driving under the influence (Ya, I know people say it doesn’t affect their driving, but it does), Scene play under the influence is DANGEROUS. You won’t drive off the road or into a head on collision, but you can blow by limits and tolerances so easily when your emotions, mental faculties and pain sensors are dulled by drugs or booze. Impact play isn’t as accurate, skills are eroded, safety might be ignored and reaction time for emergencies slows considerably.
Playing with a clear head is the safest way, the best way to ensure your partners safety, health and wellbeing
If you can think of other times not to play, by all means add them. Also good times to play.
© 2/17/23 Ronald Dirienzo

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