Blog : When is enough during play or discipline?

Blogs > rondiri > My thought's, fun and fiction

7312 posts
3/7/2023 9:00 pm

Last Read:
3/8/2023 10:48 am

When is enough during play or discipline?

Article in comments

11202 posts
3/7/2023 9:00 pm

Something I think novices have a hard time figuring out is when to end a scene or discipline.
Even if, during discipline, you have decided on “X” number of strikes, there can be times when a decision has to be made to end sooner.
O when is enough?
When you reach the decided upon amount of strikes?
When your arm gets tired of swinging?
When the submissive is crying?
Only when the submissive calls out their safe word?
When the Dominant sees the submissive is in real distress?

When you reach the decided upon strikes is an easy choice, or reached the desired end of the scene. But the Dominant STILL has to be aware of the submissives condition, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Just because you have a number of strikes or a particular ending for the scene, doesn’t mean the submissive will be able to handle that on that particular day. Tolerances can vary all the time. As a Dominant you have to be aware and adapt, preferably before the submissive calls out their safe word.
When your arm gets tired of swinging, or you run out of stem during a scene is NOT a serious consideration. Again, the submissive may not tolerate that kind of time frame and may need to call out a safe word.
Although many Dominants, especially sadists, enjoy seeing a submissive cry, the Dominant needs to know the submissive and their tolerances. Is crying unusual? More intense? Sure crying is a natural reaction to pain, but it can also signal something more serious, even if the submissive hasn’t called out their safe word.
Waiting until the submissive calls out their safe word each and every session can be dangerous. As Dominants we want to push the limits of the submissive, but going to the limit each and every time, even most of the time can cause increasing damage because there isn’t enough time to heal the body after going to the limits of tolerances. It can lead to short and shorter times between calling a safe owrd instead of furthering the limit.
My personal choice is when the Dominant sees the submissive reaching their tolerance limit, or is in real distress. I won’t wait for a safe word. In my mind, if the submissive has to use a safe word, I’ve gone too far. Now all submissives are different. Some might be quick to use a safe word, some might be reluctant to use a safe word. The Dominant must know the submissive’s tendencies and adapt to them accordingly.
I would rather stop too soon, than too late. I’d rather leave my submissive wanting more, than have both of us regretting I took it too far. There is always the next time to play if you stop sooner. Stop too late, there may not be a next time for the partners.
This is also why playing while under the influence is a bad idea, a dangerous idea. Perceptions and attention must be sharp to see and/or sense the submissive’s condition.
Keeping a submissive safe, satisfied and wanting more, is a better way to keep the relationship going, rather than pushing too far, and maybe ending everything for good.
© 3/7/23 Ronald Dirienzo

Tckg12 69M