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Who is to blame? Article in comments |
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Yesterday, my submissive heard from a friend who was feeling guilty because she had been abused by someone she had put her trust in. The man had agreed to all limits in negotiations, seemed like a great guy, then ignored everything and broke the trust that had been placed in him. It was stressed to her that this WASN’T her fault. The fault and blame lie squarely on HIS shoulders. From the beginning of time, trusts have been broken. If you believe in the Bible, Eve’s trust in the snake was a broken trust. The question has always remained who is to blame. The one who trusted and was wrong to give that trust, for whatever reason? Or the one that broke the trust? Some will still say the trust giver is at fault for not being thorough enough, for turning a blind eye to doubts, for making a mistake. But the one that breaks the trust didn’t make a mistake. They broke the trust knowingly and usually maliciously. They lied, they cheated and they harmed without a care. And for that, they are the ones full of the blame. In the BDSM world, this happens too often. And sadly, I have found that some still blame the submissive when a trust is broken. They are told, you didn’t vet good enough, you ignored red flags, you were in too much of a rush and many more bullshit excuses including they didn’t take Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink (PRICK) or Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK). These people just state, you asked for it and you got more than you wanted… your fault. And that’s just ridiculous! No one is perfect. Any submissive can make a mistake in giving trust. The “Dominant” that takes advantage of the misplaced trust is the criminal in this. NOT the submissive The submissive is the victim. It’s easier to just blame the submissive and ignore the predator. The predator knows how to play the blame game and fool everyone, and so, that is how they continue. RACK and PRICK ARE NOT fool proof. They are just words and acronyms. You can live by the sword and also die by the sword. So living by these words, you can also be hurt by those that use them against you, that know about them as well as you do. A submissive should never feel guilty for being fooled by people that practice the art of fooling others as a way of life. And a submissive should never be made to feel guilty when their trust is abused. © 3/28/23 Ronald Dirienzo
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1 post 3/28/2023 9:02 pm |
Mr. Ron, Well said! You are right on the money! Trust & Loyalty go hand in hand. A Dominant who abuses or breaks a trust deserves No loyalty. The sub should not feel Any guilt about it, or continue with a Dom who has shown that he is untrustworthy. He deserves what he gets, when the sub walks out on him. I value trust, honesty, & loyalty above almost everything else, in life.
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Well I've been in that situation😥.... And then I returned for more abuse..😵.... So go figure...🤪
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Well I've been in that situation😥.... And then I returned for more abuse..😵.... So go figure...🤪  
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"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...." I think we have all been there..... 
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