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Who makes the rules? Article in comments |
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Who makes the rules? The BDSM lifestyle isn’t like being a parent when it comes to rule making. A Dominant can’t just say, “Do as I say. I make the rules. You obey.” Everything about a dynamic should be negotiated to BOTH partners liking. If a prospective Dominant doesn’t like that, or objects to it, the submissive should see red flags flying. Now there are traditionalist that will say, that’s not the way it is done or WAS done. All I can say is in today’s world, there are few submissives that have the fearlessness to walk into a dynamic witho9ut knowing the parameters. There are too many Dominants that don’t have the knowledge and/or experience to totally control a dynamic and a submissive like that. In today’s world, safety and knowing what you are getting into has become of paramount importance. The evolution of humanity and the rising number of predators, those with improper training and experience, those with little or incorrect knowledge make the BDSM lifestyle more dangerous than it was decades ago. And that is why negotiating and vetting have become so important before committing to a dynamic. Submissives have the right to know what they are getting into. They have the right to say no, I will not do that in the dynamic. To those who say slaves have no rights, I say the BDSM lifestyle does not eliminate the laws of the land. Even in the strictest dynamic, the submissive has legal human rights. And the most important of those is the right to say no and the right to leave the dynamic at any time. So, who makes the rules? A Dominant and a submissive negotiating together make the rules of the dynamic before any consent is given. The rules cannot be changed without the approval of BOTH partners and again, the submissive must consent to any changes. The Dominant enforces the rules through whatever means was agreed to, and consented to, by the submissive. If the Dominant breaks the rules themselves, the submissive has the right to revoke consent and if need be in their mind, leave the dynamic. BDSM is a power exchange, it is not a seizing of power, or a surrender of human rights. © 4/17/23 Ronald Dirienzo
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Every scenario is different. When I go fishing, sometimes I can stand on the bank of a bed of fresh water and use worms. Other times worms won't work, I use shrimp, on salt water. When I go reef fishing, on a boat, I use a boat rod, 80 to 100 pound test fishing line and whole fish or squid for bait. Why? Because different scenarios call for different means to get satisfaction. A different rule of thumb for every different scenario. I can not use my bass buster, to catch grouper. The rules come from what works for the outcome I want. The fish have no say in it... When the sub did not do what You, the dominant wanted, do you punish, on what grounds with your take of the situation. Do you let your sub punish you because you did not do what they wanted? A power exchange...Is there punishment in your world? Or are you saying, you never do, when the sub does not approve...
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Perfect and true
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Once a relationship is established with a BDSM DOM or an just an Alpha boyfriend yes of course I comply with DO AS I SAY I MAKE THE RULES YOU OBEY ....because I'm a submissive I don't get with Beta type guys YUCK🙄
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The importance of communication and establishing the agreements prior to play.
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