Blog : Sometimes, Dominants bite off more than a submissive can chew

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6/27/2023 12:35 pm

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6/28/2023 9:22 am

Sometimes, Dominants bite off more than a submissive can chew

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11202 posts
6/27/2023 12:49 pm

Sometimes, Dominants bite off more than a submissive can chew

Every Dominant has expectations of what they want a submissive to do in their dynamic. Unfortunately some Dominants don’t know how to adapt those expectations when they accept a submissive and know what the submissive is already responsible for in their life.
A long time ago in decades past, a submissive more often than not lived with the Dominant and was supported by the Dominant. Now-a-days. Many submissives have a job or college. They have bills to pay. Then along comes a Dominant, they vet each other and enter a dynamic.
The Dominant expects the submissive to clean the Dominant’s home, wash the dishes, do the laundry, and even maintain the yard of the house the Dominant lives in.
All while the submissive works full time or goes to school full time, and has to maintain their own home.
I’ve seen quite a few posts by submissives asking “How do you do it?” to other submissives.
There is only enough time in the day for anyone. When you have more to do than time to do it, something suffers.
You give up sleep time, you cut corners, your job or grades suffer, etc, etc, etc.
None of that is good for the submissive, and the Dominant has a responsibility for the health and wellbeing of the submissive and to do what is best for the submissive.
Now hopefully, the submissive was honest in the beginning with their already required responsibilities, and the Dominant was honest with their expectations. But sometimes, one or both bites off more than can be done by the submissive.
This is where alterations need to be made after an open discussion about the issue.
Maybe it is a time management problem, maybe there is just too much to do for the submissive. Maybe the submissive just doesn’t want to do so much in the dynamic and maybe the Dominant just wanted someone to keep house for them. Or any combination of things.
But the only recourse is open communication and either adapting expectations, finding a solution to get it all done, or parting ways if either side thinks it best in the situation.
A submissive should never feel pressured to do it all and run themselves down. That’s a one way dynamic. The Dominant’s and submissive’s expectations have to coincide and both need to be honest about what can be done and what they can do without affecting the health and wellbeing of the submissive.
And if you are wondering, no, I do not make my submissive do all the chores. She has a job and bills to pay. I make sure she gets the rest she needs to not only do her job, but excel at it.
Why do I do that? Because if I keel over and die, she still needs to be able to provide for herself. The better standing she has at her job, the better it is for her, now and in the future. As I said earlier, it is the Dominant’s responsibility to do what is best for the submissive, not only what is best for themselves.
© 6/27/23 Ronald Dirienzo

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