Blog : The meaning of Red Flag

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8/9/2023 12:58 pm

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8/10/2023 8:38 am

The meaning of Red Flag

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11204 posts
8/9/2023 12:59 pm

Many, including myself, have written and posted about Red Flags. Mine articles can be found in my profile feed by clicking my name and scrolling down through my articles.
But what do Red Flags mean when you spot one?
It DOESN’T always mean WALK AWAY.
Yes, some red flags should tell you just to walk away from a potential partner, or even an ongoing partner.
Scene play under the influence of drugs or alcohol, in my opinion, is a red flag where you walk away. If your body and mind are under the influence, you can’t act and react properly enough to provide the safety BDSM scene play requires. Just like driving under the influence, it only takes one time for things to go so wrong your partner or you is severely harmed or killed.
Plenty of other red flags mean, STOP and INVESTIGATE.
Instances like not knowing what aftercare is, not requiring a safe word or having no limits can be dug into deeper to find out why. It’s possible the person could be a novice and needs to learn, or it could be an abuser or fake. Digging deeper can often tell you the difference between walking away and needing patience with the perspective partner.
Then there are the red flags of a more personal nature that only YOU can decide on. Limits a person has that do not coincide with what you are looking for, distance from you, etc. These aren’t red flags to others, but to you, they are important and can end a conversation.
In the end, you want to get as much information as you can possibly get. Digging deeper into a person’s answers and actions can uncover reasons both pro and con to continuing a conversation or a relationship.
Since honesty and communication are 2 of the 4 pillars of BDSM, prospective partners and current partners should never have a problem answering in-depth questions. If they do, that is a red flag in itself that is very serious.
© 8/9/23 Ronald Dirienzo

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