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Blogs > rondiri > My thought's, fun and fiction |
Absolutes article in comments |
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To my mind, absolutes are not always a good thing in the BDSM lifestyle. Yes, there are basic premises that are absolute. The Four Pillars Safety Consent Responsibility, to name a few. But when it comes to the dynamics of the Lifestyle, I believe you have to be adaptable. There are those that go into the lifestyle with preconceived notions that they absolutely must have in a dynamic. There are those that were taught and learned a specific way and feel they have to follow that way absolutely to the letter of the teaching. If you can find someone that can match your absolutes, that can work. For as long as each person can physically, mentally and emotionally stay true to those absolutes. As an example, for many, kneeling is an absolute for a submissive. In some dynamics there are different kneeling positions for different circumstances. But what happens when the submissive can no longer kneel due to age or injury? Does the Dominant stay with the absolute need for a kneeling submissive and cast this submissive aside? Or does the Dominant adapt and accept a different way for the submissive to show a submissive posture? There are many things the young can do in bondage that older submissives cannot. Development of a chronic illness or just age, can rob a submissive of abilities thought to be absolutes for a submissive. Some Dominants require an absolute weight for the submissive that can’t be maintained as they get older. A submissives dress or undress in the home can be jeopardized by minors in the household. Scene play can be jeopardized by minors in the home? Obviously, if these issues are known before starting a dynamic during vetting, the prospective partners can walk away and look for someone else. But we all evolve after the start of a dynamic. Circumstances change. Those that hold to absolutes only have the option of moving on to a different partner if they won’t adapt. Maybe that is why there are those that put an end date in their “contracts”. So they don’t have to adapt, just get a new submissive. With the number of fakes and scammers out there today, I think I would find it draining to constantly change submissives rather than adapt. But to each his own. © 1/21/24 Ronald Dirienzo
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I like it (Absolute) with tonic and a lemon over ice...
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All True Ron... And someday even I shall be over-the-hill SAD 😥
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As my grandmother used to say, "you must always adapt"
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1/21/2024 6:14 pm |
If someone is going to be absolutely inflexible with what they want. They are probably going to be in for a disappointment. Sometimes you have to be flexible and adapt. If someone plans on having a real relationship based on trust and love. They have to accept that there will be times when they have to make concessions, and let things be good enough. Nothing more I can add. I think you've pretty much covered it.
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All True Ron... And someday even I shall be over-the-hill SAD 😥
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